pavman Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Popped into the garden centre and as I waited at the till a middle aged lady asked the assistant if she had any trailing LABIA The assistant sniggered and said she was tripping over the stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorfolkBoy Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSA Shaun Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Just laughed out loud at work, cheers mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham M Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Wossa Labia G.M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedro Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Go on son, see how many you can get in B) P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Wossa Labia G.M. i think it's a type of car mate B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chunk Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 My gran once said, pointing to the trellis on the front of the house, you want a clitoris to grow up that. Older folk are a goldmine of innocently made but amusing gaffs. At work a old woman fell against a table cutting her leg. She asked "would you look at my gash", and couldnt understand the roars of laughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pavman Posted May 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 My gran once said, pointing to the trellis on the front of the house, you want a clitoris to grow up that. Older folk are a goldmine of innocently made but amusing gaffs. At work a old woman fell against a table cutting her leg. She asked "would you look at my gash", and couldnt understand the roars of laughter. B) Priceless B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Safe Chris Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Lads, I've had an Eartha Kitt day and these gardening comments were just the ticket. Quality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTMS Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Thank you gents, as Safe Chris said "Just the ticket" Brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shootingman Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 On a visit to my wifes grand-dad he told us to go & have a look in his neighbours garden at the 2 new ovaries he's built for his pigeons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJ2 Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 I had a list of excuses sent to me once, allegedly all genuine, from a school in some hicky town in U.S of A. One I remember is "Please excuse MaryAnn from games as she is administrating". I'll trawl through my E mails and see if I can come up with the rest. Some of them were priceless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Browning GTS Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Popped into the garden centre and as I waited at the till a middle aged lady asked the assistant if she had any trailing LABIA The assistant sniggered and said she was tripping over the stuff B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJ2 Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Found it Sick Notes These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district...(spellings have been left intact.) > >1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. > >2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot. > >3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33. > >4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating. > >5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. > >6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. > >7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. > >8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. > >9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. > >10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels. > >11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the ****s. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out] . > >12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak. > >13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. > >14. Please excuse jimmy for being.It was his father's fault. > >15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear. > >16. Please excuse jennifer fo! R missing school yesterday. We >forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday. > >17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral. > >18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines. > >19. Ple ase excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. > >20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. > >21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. > >22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor. > >23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. > >Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kipper Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butchdickason Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 B) Loved the USofA list, no 12 had me in tears of laughter. 16 is best Butch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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