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Monty Python


pavman
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Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

 

And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ...

 

Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three.

 

Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three.

 

Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three.

Five is right out!

 

Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

 

"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

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Went and saw Spamalot the other week in London. Pretty good actually and had a proper TV actor standing in for one of the main characters.

 

The jokes still makes me laugh and one of the guys that tagged along had never seen the film. He was laughing like a drain all the way through.

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There he is!

Where?

There!

What? Behind the rabbit?

It *is* the rabbit!

You silly sod!

What?

You got us all worked up!

Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.

Ohh.

That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

You ***! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

Get stuffed!

He'll do you up a treat, mate.

Oh, yeah?

You manky Scots ***!

I'm warning you!

What's he do? Nibble your bum?

He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!

Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!

Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!

 

 

No the rabbit you want to meet on your shoot :good:

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There he is!

Where?

There!

What? Behind the rabbit?

It *is* the rabbit!

You silly sod!

What?

You got us all worked up!

Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.

Ohh.

That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

You ***! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

Get stuffed!

He'll do you up a treat, mate.

Oh, yeah?

You manky Scots ***!

I'm warning you!

What's he do? Nibble your bum?

He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!

Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!

Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!

 

 

No the rabbit you want to meet on your shoot :good:

 

 

this is the one,,,,,Fantastic :lol:
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Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

Who are you?

We are the Knights who say..... "Ni"!

No! Not the Knights who say "Ni"!

The same.

Who are we?

We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Nee-womm!

Nee-womm!

Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

The knights who say "Ni" demand..... a sacrifice!

Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who

lives beyond these woods.

Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!

We shall say "Ni" to you... if you do not appease us.

Well what is it you want?

We want.....

 

(pregnant pause)

 

A SHRUBBERY!!!!

 

A WHAT?

Ni! Ni!! Ni! Ni!

No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a shrubbery.

You must return here with a shrubbery... or else you will never

pass through this wood... alive.

O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a

shrubbery.

One that looks nice.

Of course!

And not too expensive.

Yes!

Noowwwww.... GO!

 

(music)

 

O Knights of Ni. We have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?

Yes, it is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly.

But there is one small problem....

What is that?

We are now no longer the Knights Who Say "Ni"!

Ni! Shh! Shh!

We are now the Knights who say "Ekky-ekky-ekky-ekky-z'Bang, zoom-Boing, z'nourrrwringmm".

Ni!

Therefore, we must give you a test.

What is this test, O Knights of.....

Knights who 'til recently said "Ni"?

Firstly, you must find....

 

ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!!!

 

Oh not another shrubbery!!

THEN... Then, when you have found the shrubbery,

you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly

higher, so we get the two-level effect with a little path

running down the middle.

A path! A path! A path! Shh, shhh. Ni! Ni!

Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the

mightiest tree in the forest...

Wiiiiiithh.... A HERRING!

 

:good::lol: :blink: :lol:

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