dazzyboi Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 To say that im gutted would be an understatement. It's not 100% official and written in stone yet, but it's not looking good. Im not going into gorey details, im just an individual looking for sympathy. What makes it worse is that she and my mates hang around in the same group, and it looks like there not being very good mates and are all choosing to either not bother, or not bother with me and continue letting her have priority. Oh well, least I have got plenty of time to do as much shooting as possible... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSA Shaun Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 Times like this mate that real mates shine through and you find out who they are. I know the old plenty of fish in the sea phrase seems heartless at the moment but it is true and there is life after relationships as I found out. Was in a serious relationship, split up and was gutted. Now a while down the line, getting married in Sept, have 2 beautiful daughters and the house of my dreams. Life does go on mate, believe me. Cheer up down the pub Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wookie Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 Just to throw my oar in... It's not over till it's over. I've been through one marriage (It was over, both parties knew it, it ended) and am now heading for a second try at things. This may not have been meant to be, but the next one may be. Anyway, don't worry about your friends. True mates will stand by you, that's what they do and that is what happens. Meantime, just get your **** out to the fields and do a bit of shooting eh? Oh and try and patch things up if you think it worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malkiserow Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 Sorry to hear your situation... depending on what you want, something I heard sometime ago which may have value, especially from a blokes normal perspective is "It is not who is right .... it is who is still there" Good luck Malk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pin Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 I had something very similar. Similar length of time, were all my friends (moved to new area with her for a job). She didn't like it here and things deteriorated and eventually she was mucking about behind my back (I knew). So true about finding out who your real friends are, some will probably surprise you. It sucks completely that people sided with her, mostly all blokes and she was cute so all the fake friends, well, you know the story. Not worth any of the clichés, they all mean jack until it stops hurting. Best advice is don't burn any bridges and remember who sticks by you Best wishes mate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the last engineer Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 To say that im gutted would be an understatement. It's not 100% official and written in stone yet, but it's not looking good. Im not going into gorey details, im just an individual looking for sympathy. What makes it worse is that she and my mates hang around in the same group, and it looks like there not being very good mates and are all choosing to either not bother, or not bother with me and continue letting her have priority. Oh well, least I have got plenty of time to do as much shooting as possible... sorry to hear the bad new kiddo, but as you wrote she still hangs with your budds, so should you if they still are, the relationship you two had wasnt with them, dont hold them accountable, they are friends and still remain so,,,,,,,,,,,,, dont they, good luck with the longer shooting season dont worry about it, if you do you will become the bad guy. Martin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devilishdave Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 It hought it was somthing serious. You've not lost any shooting and your dogs ok you cant go far wrong. plenty more fish in the sea and all that stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzyboi Posted August 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 It's happened one or two times before, one time we got back within a week, the other time we got back within 2 months. Im not sure which was its going to go this time...Just wish it didnt hurt so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 Unfortunately, it takes time to heal a personal upset and there is no instant cure. Don't blame your mates, you might be being unfair. One of my best friends broke up with his wife and was upset that I still spoke to her. I had to tell him she was a good friend of mine as well and I had no reason to take sides. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzyboi Posted August 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 Unfortunately, it takes time to heal a personal upset and there is no instant cure. Don't blame your mates, you might be being unfair. One of my best friends broke up with his wife and was upset that I still spoke to her. I had to tell him she was a good friend of mine as well and I had no reason to take sides. Im not blaming my mates for any of this, im just annoyed that not one of them (in the group of 5-6) has bothered contacting me to see how I am, and it makes me think (Well why should I bother with them). If something happens with them im usually quick to respond and see how they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaniel Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 I expect they are not contacting you because you are a Bloke and you know the Ladies get all the attention etc. Mate if you have been through this a couple of times already with the same person, isnt that telling you something...no matter how you feel about her, it takes Two to make a couple...... Hope Im not sounding like a complete ***,.... I was married for 13 years..had 2 Lovely kids, got divorced and settled down and married my 2nd Wife and we have just had our 2nd child together (last Friday). So now I have 4 Excellent Kids who I love to bits....so what i am saying is that no matter how low you are feeling at present, things can and will get better. Now get out and do some shooting...and enjoy yourself Good Luck Ian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pavman Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 As a man twice divorced I have more experiance than most in this area, one after 13 years together one after 10 so not like it was short term and mostly connected to working away from home for long periods, However in each situation no matter how painfull at the time someone or something comes along and changes your life for the better and you wonder how you ever found happines without them (current Mrs P being point in case) Rest assured young man your best is yet to come, and lets hope its sooner than later good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trakker01 Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 a young fella like you wont have any bother, there loads of single & married ladies B) wanting a hunky fella.. she done ya a favour !! as the baby bull says to its dad..lets run down there pops & sh*g 0ne of them cows.. hang on says dad bull.....lets walk down & sh* g 'em all........ i had 3 ex's ,3 set of kids, still young free, single ,(40) & enjoy ma sport when i want!!! lmao... :( oh yeh....keep her sweet, she might wanna stop over one weekend when she gets dumped !! put her in the quew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njc110381 Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 I'm probably going to rock the boat a little more by saying this, but if you've split twice before why do you still want her around? I know it's hard to let go, but I've always set a little rule for myself. A relationship means a lot to me so if a partner is prepared to walk away from me, she isn't welcome to come back. I don't know the situation, but if you haven't done anything to make her want to go (and I don't mean just p***** her off over something minor, I mean something serious) then I don't see the point in wanting her back. If however you've messed up, then hard luck! As for your friends, have you actually tried talking to any of them? It may just be that your other half is getting out and having fun and you're choosing to sit at home? I never know what to say to people when things go tits up, so I'm probably one of those people that doesn't seem to care about my mates. I do care, I just don't know how to help! Give them a chance, they're probably just waiting for you to show your face. If they're friends of both of you, you can't expect them to take sides unless one of you is badly out of order in the situation. Sorry to hear it's not going well though. Is this girl the one that was thinking of working away on a cruise ship or something a few months back? You seemed to have a little doubt in your conversation then too, which may tell you something you don't want to hear? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun4860 Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 It's happened one or two times before, one time we got back within a week, the other time we got back within 2 months. Im not sure which was its going to go this time...Just wish it didnt hurt so much! Still hurts after nearly 2 years mate...... :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derek.snr Posted August 15, 2007 Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 proberbly find out one of your "mates" will be in there next,if so get revenge by banging her sister,friend ,mother.cheer up get down the pub/club and find a new one.remember a dogs for life ,not just saterday nite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RICH ACK Posted August 15, 2007 Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 get out and enjoy ya self mate no use mopin ya too young for that lifes too short . we've all had rocky relationships and believe me if its rocky now it'll be worse in years to come . wish i was single Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al4x Posted August 15, 2007 Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 I'm feeling your pain as well, I'm just getting out of a 5 year relationship in pretty sad circumstances, its when you find your proper mates and when it helps to have family arround. In my case its definitely time to let go but we've a house bought jointly thats a massive renovation project that I've got to find a way of buying her out of as its certainly not worth selling at the moment. She is getting to keep the dogs which is pretty gutting so its pretty messy. What you have to do is keep your pride and keep things as amicable as possible. Women are very hard to understand at the best of times and the logic is completely from another world so the best option is to go out with your mates more go shooting more and time will help things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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