Jim Sarakun Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 I was talking to my mate Jack yesterday afternoon, and he told me he had heard from a "reliable source" from within the Pigeon Investigation Agency, that they had agents on the ground with the view to capturing and interrogating Charlie Wingbar, the head of the Pigeon Terrorists. "Tie him to a chair and shine a bright light in his face" seemed to be the top of the discussion, though rumors of stock piling at the agency of Zyclon B, and rockets attached to nets, are just that, rumors. The source added that once captured what exactly SHOULD they ask him and my mate jack was asked if he could ask around, unofficially of course, any shooting types he may know, for some answers. Well i came up with this short list, and should you have any questions, do please let me know. Why, when there are four fields of the same crop, do you choose to annihilate only one of them? Do your kind REALLY think you can wear me out by dropping down and dying on the far side of the field once I have shot you? What is it about my decoys that tells you one day they look real, so you land and the next day they don't, so you won't? What makes you jerk to one side when I am just about to pull the trigger? When you are all out in force, and then all suddenly disappear, where do you go? What part of the sugar beet do you actually eat? Do your mates from Europe really come all the way to England for Christmas and the New Year? So you think it's funny do you, when you overtake me when I am bouncing along in my Land Rover at 40mph? No you can't use the gents. How do I know you are a man and not a woman? Which one of you told the author of a popular shooting book, that you will land when you see a crescent or L shape of birds in a field. Clearly this is a ploy to warn your kind that there is a man down there with a gun. After eating all that organic food, do you lot **** much in the trees at night? Who told you how to differentiate between the sound of a gas gun, so you can land, and the sound of a shot gun, so you can't? I will send these and any other questions you may have, to my mate Jack Daniels, as soon as is possible. Footnote...My mum said I should really find a nice woman to take care of me, get out more and change my circle of friends.....I'm alright mum.....Honest... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MM Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 what have you been smoking..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dustyfox Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 what have you been smoking..? :look: :lol: Martin the easiest job you can do is a stand up comedian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MM Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 was going to offer him this one instead, but implied he takes drugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy. Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 Seriously, lay off the drugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 I don't think drugs permit you to write such incisive stuff. Well done Jim, there are a few questions there that I would like to know the answer to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozzy Fudd Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 can we also ask him where they get the titanium armour they seem to wear occasionally from? as some ive had hits on seem better armoured than a russian hind, dont know what it would take to drop them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6shot Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 (edited) can you please ask them how they know when im having a bad day, and could the please stop coming over when im out the hide away from my gun or bent down in the hide or if they carry on with that childish behaviour to try and p--- me of could they atleast slow down a little bit. also please ask them to stop telling there mates that hes missing today again so your ok to take the p--- out of him again today lads Edited December 13, 2008 by 6shot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-Bore Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 I would ask them where they are feeding and if they could so kindly fetch their mates over to the field with the plastic play mates and present themselves beautifully over the top of the plastic playmates whilst I show them the nasty end of the 12 bore. I never thought of asking them - it would save alot of driving around looking for them. What a great idea......... :look: Si Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seisobs Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 Could you please ask them why it is every time I light up a fag they appear out of the blue then disappear as soon as I throw my fag down to pick up my gun? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy518 Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 If I knew the answer to all them questions mate, I reckon i'd be .........a pigeon!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozzy Fudd Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 Could you please ask them why it is every time I light up a fag they appear out of the blue then disappear as soon as I throw my fag down to pick up my gun? thats our way to get a pigeon to arrive - light a fag. just shoot em with it hanging from your lip!! :look: oh can we also ask them why i can walk past a hedge or under a tree 5 times without a hint of movement, then when i turn my back theres about 20 pigeons come out??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6shot Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 is there any chance mr pigeon you would turn super grass all we need is for you to lead youf fellow pigeons to a field im am shooing, bring them into the decoys in twos and then another two and so on i know it wont be a easy life as a pigeon watch informer :yp: , but in return you will never be shot at again (unless you blab ) you can even have the full use of my back garden and bird table but remember once a turncoat allways a turncoat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.