Pike

Our Parks Police Inspector has just bought one for driving from Norfolk to East London on a daily basis carrying four German Shepherds in the back and absolutley loves it.

Hiya folks, on the look out for an SJ in good nick cheap as *** to run around in for a while. Any body got one they would like to move on? Pike

Well - I wasn't going to move on relying on my natural talent!!!

Hiya folks, just a note to let you know I should be back on the scene for a while now. Things went a bit frantic over at the Country Park for a few months while my manager went off on maternity leave and, as much as I enjoy the forum, I'm afraid it had to take a back seat for a whille. Look forward to catching up with you all Pike

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now" Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window." "Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you." Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps, goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those." "I'm sorry Sir", says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes." Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds they make, steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it", he says, "I am the worlds leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!" "I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant... "I've just realised I was playing you the bee side"

As a non- wildfowler I can only guess that tufted duck taste absolutley horrid?

And how have the London Borough of Barking and Dagenham decided to celebrate Trafalgar day - a French market in Barking Town Centre!!! You just couldn't make it up. P

Had a Tarka Massala the other night................... It's like Chicken Massala only 'Otter!!!! B)

My thoughts exactly Lurch. A self confessed 'cat' person with no apologies.

There's no fooling me Aled - welcome back! B)

Welsh farmer buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when the are pregnant. The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round. Try again e tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day banging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass. "No", she says, "They're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn".

If the dates are good and we can get a few of us from my end of the country to go up together it sounds a great idea.

You were on land that you were comletely entitled to be on and some person unknown fired at you - for heavens sake phone the police and let them sort it out.

she shuts the door of course!!

Young (ish), free and single - no such problems! If I want to go shooting, fishing, drinking or galavanting off around the country no worries - and of course when you live in Essex................

I have just seen the story in todays paper and can honestly say that I have never seen anything so shocking. To think that any human being could do something as cruel and mindless as this is completely sickening. P

Rooster, I quite often get a few bunnies and was going to try making burger but - how do you get the meat off the bone? Do you need to part cook them then flake it off or is it just a fiddly job with a knife? Pike

Sorry folks I am working on the 17th (well it was a 50/50 chance) and despite lots of ducking and diving can't wriggle out of it. Make sure you let me know if you do get another date Pike (LB phone number is still the same but havn't received a text)

count me in. Mondays are not a problem for me as I have every other monday off if I am on a weekend shift. Let me know the details as they come up or txt me LB Pike

That bird must have been travelling at a hell of a speed!!

Had one of those but my boss took it off me as I was becoming a total office pest!

Pavman, some of my work involves the promotion of angling - I think you may have solved all my problems!!!

He really is a leg-end in his own lunchtime. Happy birthday Aled!

Usually just launch my Federals Tommy but I have probably got a few empty shells kicking around. Do you want me to start saving them for you?

Can't ever be a ferret chaps It's STOATLY different!!!!!! :blink: Pike