TonySmith Posted February 15, 2010 Report Share Posted February 15, 2010 Cannot remember where I heard this. "Would you like some dinner" "Great, what's the choices" " Yes or No" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul in North Lincs. Posted February 15, 2010 Report Share Posted February 15, 2010 whilst in a meeting with a consortium of nigerian business men a few years ago, for whom i was acting in the acqusision of commercial properties, we met a surveyor from Preston who wanted to sell us a portfolio of secondary retail premises in a undesirable district of manchester. Trying very hard to impress the multi million pound consortium, one of its members asked the surveyor "why should we buy from you, and indeed believe your projections on potentail rental incomes"................ to my horror, and Im sure his and everyone else in the room, he replied...."I am an honest kinda guy...that calls a spade a spade"............needless to say the meeting concluded shortly after, when I retired to the smallest room for a safety wipe............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted February 15, 2010 Report Share Posted February 15, 2010 ME that wasn't very amusing >.> Callum you are 14 and probably a virgin with a hair trigger on your tiny winky. How's that for amusing ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 One I just remembered During her time canoodling with him in 1990, Madonna was asked if it was true that Warren Beatty was 'insatiable'. She replied: 'He's satiable.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonno 357 Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 "Its unbelievable jeff" Jonno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozzy Fudd Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 Callum you are 14 and probably a virgin with a hair trigger on your tiny winky. How's that for amusing ? :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KFC Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 I was on Fleetwood Pier and a posh geezer was stood just along the bar. A couple of lads rushed in and barged up to the Bar, pushing the posh bloke out of the way. In a cut-glass accent he says "Do you mind"? "No" says the lad "I babysit"! ___________ In the mob, a chief had been giving a scouser erk a hard time. "You won't see me tomorrow Chief" says the erk. "Why's that"? asks the Chief "'cos I'm goin' to poke your *****n' eyes out"! says the erk. ------------------------------------ If I want to add some levity into a tense situation then I like to use a nonsensical by Jimmy Clitheroe. "It's only the hairs on a Goose-gog that stop it from being a Grape". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stubby Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 bianca on eastenders, opening the front door to an unknown, "Im already a friend of jesus" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plumbob Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 My missus " Does my bum look big in this?" Me "last time I saw an **** that big it had a tranquiliser dart hanging out of it" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave dog Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 Bloke i used to work with when first left college always use to say, "Stand more chance of growing vanie than that ever happening" Which used to go down well when getting told off by the work shop manger. dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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