figgy Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Whatever you do don't be yourself. She might not like the constant pee taking and sarky comments Think you'll find when you both dry your eyes and start talking she will have been feeling just as nervous. Hope it all works out mate,she may be as sarcastic as you like your jokes and you'll get along like a house on fire. Figgy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kes Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 (edited) I have no experience of such a situation but can try and imagine how much it could mean to both of you. I hope and believe it will change both your lives immeasurably for the better. Daughters are gold, as are dad's to daughters. The very best for the meeting and after........ Edited November 19, 2013 by Kes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 :good: :good:Best of luck KW, just follow your heart, whatever has happened in the past is in the past and she is obviously wanting to talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Good luck for the weekend mate i know you have told me a lot of personal things that have happened in your life and thats the way they will stay.. Just ignore figgy ( the bloke with the big hat ) and be yourself a **** taker with short fat hairy legs, I'm sure and hoping it will work out OK for you both... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Nothing wrong with short fat hairy legs!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikky Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 good luck mate,i am sure everything will be ok.....apart from the 18th bday present you missed and her 21st prezzie....new car and a deposit on a new house on the way......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOLDCREST Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Be friendly, open, and give the lass a BIG GENUINE hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lee-kinsman Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 always been a confident perhaps over confident chap, now I'm having kittens, my second eldest daughter who I have not seen since she was about 9 (long story and we WONT be going there) she is now 35 !! has contacted me and is coming to see me on Saturday evening, god I'm wrecked how do I deal with this then, british stiff upper lip is going to be a struggle, anyone been in the same boat if so how did it work out? KW Be yourself, be honest and if right and necessary take responsibility. Don't look at what you've missed - look forward to what you'll have. I wish you all the best, Lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delburt0 Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Bit different I no but around 6 weeks ago my dad found out he had a brother , he his 71 and never knew, both family's had a getogether it was a day i will never forget...proper weird.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehb102 Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Be yourself, be honest and if right and necessary take responsibility. This. My husband's father never got his head around why him leaving his wife was anything to do with his children. If he had admitted that he knew his choices had an impact on everyone else and that he was going to make them anyway things would have been a lot better. We're told by the world around us that our parents should love us unconditionally and do anything for us and always put us first, but parents are people too and are weak or make mistakes or they don't have the power they need or they make choices that look one way to the child but the motivation is actually different. Each decision has many layers of intention. All I ever wanted from my father was unconditional love and for him to let me know that he loved me and was proud of me. I'm lucky, I have that (although I suspect he's more proud of me having a shotgun than two degrees!) and if you can give that to your daughter without being defensive about what you did it will be a very precious gift indeed. It may hurt to deliver it, especially the part about being not being defensive, but if you can remember she's your child looking for you to be her strong father and take the hit and still give the unconditional love then you've done your job. I am concious I may have included slightly too much relationship counselling speak, but it may be helpful. Great good luck to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdubya Posted November 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Thank you all very much for your well thought out words, I will take it all on board when I meet her, I still see her as a little girl and am frightened of destroying that image if everything goes pear shaped, oh and a special thanks to those who pm'd me very decent of you and it will be remembered. KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Nothing wrong with short fat hairy legs!! :lol: As long as she does not take after her dad if she does then i pity her ( only joking KW is one of my best friends ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figgy Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 You'll be fine. Despite the wit and sharp humour your a very decent bloke at heart. She will see it and want you to be part of her life. Figgy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennym Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 Non of this stiff upper lip rubbish ..... People sometimes live there lives never saying what they really mean, sadly this only results in lost opportunity and a lifetime of not been close to the people you love or want to love the most... Don't hide emotion and even if it leaves you vulnerable tell her how you feel What I would do is Either Make it clear the past is the past & no good will come of dragging it up, or explain the reasons and the past to her that's up to you, but after that if it is to work you both must draw a line in the past and move forward. Provided you feel you love her and want to know her ... TELL HER YOU LOVE HER AND WANT A CHANCE TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP THE VERY BEST OF LUCK TO YOU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegasus bridge Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 My wife had a similar situation with her dad, not seen him since she was 8, he'd settled down and married again, met him again in her mid 20's. She had quite clear ideas as t what went on during the split , some of it was way off the mark. Overall she had lots of feelings of insecurity and hurt from the perceived rejection of it all. What you remember as a child isn't always an accurate portrayal of events, especially if the separation was acrimonious . Good luck with it 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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