Wedding gift list?!

[Grandalf]

Obviously you could hire the local villages scout hut but its hardly the same.

 

But it is the same. You are getting married... Don't loose sight of the big picture.

Wedding photographs under some cheap plastic arch full of flowers don't make a marriage.

[brett1985]

i think this is the second time that this topic has appeared in the last 12 months, and its the same as last time, lol.

 

i got married in May, and my wife and i had been living together for 5 years and had already bought our house so we didnt need anything.

 

my new inlaws paid for the wedding itself (£3k), and my parents paid for the reception food (£1K).

 

we paid for everything else, including the honeymoon, which totalled about £6k. we had set aside a small amount of cash for dollars (about $600) for spending money in the parks and tolls and tips, and got a credit card with o% on purchases for our meals and other incidentals. we had all of the bases covered.

 

when it came to gifts we added a polite note to our invitations that read something along the lines of :

 

You’re invited to our wedding, when we both say ‘I Do’
And as you know we’ve been ‘I do’-ing for at least a year or two!
We’ve been together many years, and have a lovely home,
There’s not that many items we don’t already own.
So if your thoughts were on a gift, your presence will suffice;
But if you really feel the need, donations of dollars would be really nice!
The choice is really up to you and we’d just like to say;
That most of all, we hope you come, enjoy yourselves, and have a lovely day

 

it was well recieved by everyone, and nobody found it offensive.

sometimes its all about how you put something accross to people.

Edited January 3, 2015 by brett1985

[delburt0]

Problem is it's trying to keep up with the jones's I got married 16 yrs ago nothing fancy 2.5k that's with 10 days in Turkey all in church no sitdown doo just all day buffet and **** up and we are still happily married.

We have been to 20/30k weddings most are now divorced to to arguing over money.

[flynny]

John Lewis as has been said mate,

 

If you need someone to pay for your honeymoon or wedding you shouldn't be getting married in the first place IMHO, Me and the wife have been married for 8 years but together for 20 years, we got married when we could afford too, simples,

 

You get married for each other, wether it's a 30 grand affair or a register office, not for what you can get out of it from your friends and family,

 

Atb

 

Flynny

Edited January 3, 2015 by flynny

[kdubya]

When the young lads I work with get married now they send out a list, last one was from Argos, just went down seen what was left to get and in the price range I wanted to pay and got something that way, easy sensible and much much better than buying them something that would be stuck in a cupboard and not getting used.Its called progress and common sense, cant for the life of me see where this is an insult, then again I suppose if your a tight *** spending anything will be an insult

 

KW

[islandgun]

people will be making a list for santa next

[hawkeye]

people will be making a list for santa next

Don't people do that now ?

[ayano3]

When we got married back in 1980 we did have a wedding list as we didn't have a lot of stuff as all our money had gone on the house we had done up and the bigger things for the house. Many of the things we had were begged or second hand. The things on the wedding list were all smaller items and those who didn't wish to buy a small gift didn't. Made no difference as we didn't invite people because we wanted gifts we invited people we wanted to share our day.

 

We couldn't afford a limousine or posh transport for the Mrs to arrive at the church in, a farmer from over the road had a white rover car and he bought the wife to be to the church. The reception was at the village hall were we had done our own catering with the help of a few relatives. Our honeymoon was 4 nights in Filey in the Downcliffe Hotel which was more like a B & B. We had saved a bit for that. I look back and would not change a thing.

 

Just enjoy your day as that is the best part of it, not all those fancy spas etc.

 

Good luck for the day and the future

[guest1957]

easy sensible and much much better than buying them something that would be stuck in a cupboard and not getting used.Its called progress and common sense, cant for the life of me see where this is an insult, then again I suppose if your a tight *** spending anything will be an insult

 

KW

Agreed

[sandspider]

Thanks to those of you have contributed in a postive manner. We can afford the wedding, and the honeymoon. Othewise we wouldn't be doing it. But people want to give gifts - this is the way it is now and has been for as long as I've been going to weddings. Not one that I've been to hasn't had a list of some sort, and all have received presents from me - some were charity donations, some were honeymoon contributions, some were physical gifts and a few were cash. Some give more, some give less, some give to charity instead - all entirely fine. It's not about the gifts themselves, but as people want to give them we want to give them the option of getting something useful - if they choose to. If they don't, also fine. And the invites will be worded to that effect.

 

So why do you need a list of presents at all?

Just get spliced, have a super day with all your friends and let that be the end of it. (Maybe anonymous donations to a charity of your choice).

I am not speaking out of turn here. My lovely Memsahib and I had also lived together for years. This was in the time that it just wasn't the done thing. She had already changed her name to mine by deed-pole. When we decided to get hitched it came as a great shock to all of our friends because they thought we already were. We just had one super day that we will remember for all of our days - The Memsahib did the catering for the wedding breakfast and after a fantastic afternoon with all our friends we all went to the local pub for dinner. My lady had not been married before so her mother and sister insisted on presents - a dinner service and cash towards our upcoming move to a new house. And that was it. No presents from anyone else at our request.

Just go and enjoy the day for what it is - The first day of the rest of your life. Forget the commercial aspects.

I hope your marriage goes as well as mine has - I am now 75 and she is 78 and disabled - and I wouldn't swap her for all the proverbial tea in China.

 

Thanks Grandalf, and congratulations! I hope ours will last as long, and think it will.

 

The problem is, it's hard (but not impossible) to do a wedding on the cheap now.
You mention the 'W' word and suddenly prices rocket.
Especially If its not a church wedding. Venues want so much money to be there.
Obviously you could hire the local villages scout hut but its hardly the same.

 

That is very true. But while we could do it cheaper, it wouldn't be as special / memorable, even though the end result would be the same. And (hopefully!) it's something we'll only do once, so no harm in splashing out a bit.

 

i think this is the second time that this topic has appeared in the last 12 months, and its the same as last time, lol.

 

i got married in May, and my wife and i had been living together for 5 years and had already bought our house so we didnt need anything.

 

my new inlaws paid for the wedding itself (£3k), and my parents paid for the reception food (£1K).

 

we paid for everything else, including the honeymoon, which totalled about £6k. we had set aside a small amount of cash for dollars (about $600) for spending money in the parks and tolls and tips, and got a credit card with o% on purchases for our meals and other incidentals. we had all of the bases covered.

 

when it came to gifts we added a polite note to our invitations that read something along the lines of :

 

You’re invited to our wedding, when we both say ‘I Do’
And as you know we’ve been ‘I do’-ing for at least a year or two!
We’ve been together many years, and have a lovely home,
There’s not that many items we don’t already own.
So if your thoughts were on a gift, your presence will suffice;
But if you really feel the need, donations of dollars would be really nice!
The choice is really up to you and we’d just like to say;
That most of all, we hope you come, enjoy yourselves, and have a lovely day

 

it was well recieved by everyone, and nobody found it offensive.

sometimes its all about how you put something accross to people.

 

Thanks Brett. Like the poem, well phrased! Having said that, we'd prefer not to ask for actual cash - partly as it's not something we want to have floating around on our wedding day. Hence the thought of some sort of list that includes options for digital honeymoon contributions.

 

John Lewis as has been said mate,

If you need someone to pay for your honeymoon or wedding you shouldn't be getting married in the first place IMHO, Me and the wife have been married for 8 years but together for 20 years, we got married when we could afford too, simples,

You get married for each other, wether it's a 30 grand affair or a register office, not for what you can get out of it from your friends and family,

Atb

Flynny

 

Cheers Flynny. As said, we're not doing it for "what we can get" - but the done thing (these days at least) is for a gift list of some sort (inc charity options) and for people to give gifts. So we want to make it easy for them!

 

When the young lads I work with get married now they send out a list, last one was from Argos, just went down seen what was left to get and in the price range I wanted to pay and got something that way, easy sensible and much much better than buying them something that would be stuck in a cupboard and not getting used.Its called progress and common sense, cant for the life of me see where this is an insult, then again I suppose if your a tight *** spending anything will be an insult

 

KW

 

Exactly. I've bought a mate a toilet brush as a wedding present before (there's a story behind that, but the point was to embarras him!), and another mate got him a single tea spoon! All catered for on his guest list.

 

The things on the wedding list were all smaller items and those who didn't wish to buy a small gift didn't. Made no difference as we didn't invite people because we wanted gifts we invited people we wanted to share our day.

 

Just enjoy your day as that is the best part of it, not all those fancy spas etc.

 

Good luck for the day and the future

 

Exactly again. And many thanks for the good luck!

 

Seems to separate (I'd guess) the older and the younger, this question. (Not that the question I asked had anything to do with anyone's opinions on gift lists anyway!)

[Jaymo]

Cant comment

Got married last month in New York just the two of us ( been together for 11 years and living together for quite a few of them)

We didnt wish for a big wedding and so didnt need a wedding list- both of our parents did give us some money- which the new wife let me spend on the Charles Lancaster SBS that has been posted- good girl so will keep her- gun and wife that is :-)