bobt Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 Ah, *** Monday. It's not that far off now, that glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Tube, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat. And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, *** Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy. For *** Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin. After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk. Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road... And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is *** Monday. Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, *** Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April. And then, of course, there is *** Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (*** Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples. So when will *** Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare *** Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps. As the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make. Fingers crossed for an early start and a long summer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonno 357 Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 :( jonno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 I sincerely hope you copied/pasted that, and didn't type it all out! In the mentime you can go here, where it always seems to be *** monday http://sportsbybrooks.com/events.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobt Posted March 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 no I sat down for 3 hours and triped it all out?? allegedly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussex lad Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stealth Stalker Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 :( Very good, I personally can't wait Although saying that I've had a few near misses letching out the window of the van SS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 I find this topic demeaning towards women who are obviously seen as sexual obects and nothing more. I request, nay DEMAND that it is removed post haste! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisNicholls Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 Ah the glorious day when spring has finally sprung, I look forward to it. To get you in the mood check out the Tits on this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Sweepy Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 dear bobt you do know that you will go blind one day mr sweepy always go shopping for me in the summer but he never seems to get pass the freezer section something to do with it being cold and tight t shirts :( you all like little boys in the sweet shop xxx suzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 I sincerely hope you copied/pasted that, and didn't type it all out! In the mentime you can go here, where it always seems to be *** monday http://sportsbybrooks.com/events.html Perv :( LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirky640 Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 that brings a smile to a glass eye mate cheers kirky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kip270 Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 Ah the glorious day when spring has finally sprung, I look forward to it. To get you in the mood check out the Tits on this :blink: very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashcmt Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 that is so true that post, brilliant! *** monday it is! cant wait for it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry d Posted March 15, 2007 Report Share Posted March 15, 2007 Misunderstandings now cleaned up We still have a few Polar bears roaming about here, so no joyous eye candy ATM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new to the flock Posted March 15, 2007 Report Share Posted March 15, 2007 dear bobt you do know that you will go blind one day mr sweepy always go shopping for me in the summer but he never seems to get pass the freezer section something to do with it being cold and tight t shirts :blink: you all like little boys in the sweet shop xxx suzy Coming from the Young Lady that needs to be hosed down at the mere thought of Fire Fighters NTTF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobt Posted March 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2007 can I look just a bit and wear glasses? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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