ozzy518 Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 Not to derail the thread too much but I'm having a difficult time with my son being bullied now. He is 8 and barely a day goes by where he don't come home saying this other kid has hit or kicked him etc. He even has said whenever this kid goes near him he flinches, expecting to be hit. The school are aware and do what they can. Ordinarily, I'd tell my son to plant a haymaker full in the face of this kid, bullies once hurt tend to learn their lesson. However, and this is the difficult bit. The other kid is Polish and has some form of night epilepsy. He has a mental age of around 5. The school have him on 1 to 1 supervision and have told his mum that he really needs to go to a school more suited to his needs. So far, his mother, a single parent has refused to move him . I can't be giving my lad the green light to batter him, what if it brings on a fit? Not good for anyone. Catch 22 situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 Not to derail the thread too much but I'm having a difficult time with my son being bullied now. He is 8 and barely a day goes by where he don't come home saying this other kid has hit or kicked him etc. He even has said whenever this kid goes near him he flinches, expecting to be hit. The school are aware and do what they can. Ordinarily, I'd tell my son to plant a haymaker full in the face of this kid, bullies once hurt tend to learn their lesson. However, and this is the difficult bit. The other kid is Polish and has some form of night epilepsy. He has a mental age of around 5. The school have him on 1 to 1 supervision and have told his mum that he really needs to go to a school more suited to his needs. So far, his mother, a single parent has refused to move him . I can't be giving my lad the green light to batter him, what if it brings on a fit? Not good for anyone. Catch 22 situation You can't let your son be bullied just because the other child is in the wrong school. The school obviously aren't doing enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 Not to derail the thread too much but I'm having a difficult time with my son being bullied now. He is 8 and barely a day goes by where he don't come home saying this other kid has hit or kicked him etc. He even has said whenever this kid goes near him he flinches, expecting to be hit. The school are aware and do what they can. Ordinarily, I'd tell my son to plant a haymaker full in the face of this kid, bullies once hurt tend to learn their lesson. However, and this is the difficult bit. The other kid is Polish and has some form of night epilepsy. He has a mental age of around 5. The school have him on 1 to 1 supervision and have told his mum that he really needs to go to a school more suited to his needs. So far, his mother, a single parent has refused to move him . I can't be giving my lad the green light to batter him, what if it brings on a fit? Not good for anyone. Catch 22 situation Now that is a difficult situation, good luck in getting that sorted. The wife works with children like that and I always expect her to come home bald after tearing her hair out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felly100 Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 You can't let your son be bullied just because the other child is in the wrong school. The school obviously aren't doing enough. I know,not a very good one to one is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secretagentmole Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 Not to derail the thread too much but I'm having a difficult time with my son being bullied now. He is 8 and barely a day goes by where he don't come home saying this other kid has hit or kicked him etc. He even has said whenever this kid goes near him he flinches, expecting to be hit. The school are aware and do what they can. Ordinarily, I'd tell my son to plant a haymaker full in the face of this kid, bullies once hurt tend to learn their lesson. However, and this is the difficult bit. The other kid is Polish and has some form of night epilepsy. He has a mental age of around 5. The school have him on 1 to 1 supervision and have told his mum that he really needs to go to a school more suited to his needs. So far, his mother, a single parent has refused to move him . I can't be giving my lad the green light to batter him, what if it brings on a fit? Not good for anyone. Catch 22 situation Every time your son comes home suffering cuts, bruises or other damage photograph it and then sue the school for damages for the cuts and bruises and psychological trauma. Their fault, that kid should either be expelled or be put in a room with padded walls and floor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy518 Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 (edited) I have been keeping a log of all the incidents , worst of which is when this kid spat in my sons face. For that the other lad was sent to the head. The problem is, this lad just cannot learn what's right n wrong. He is supervised 1 to 1 in the classroom but at breaks he is not. The best solution all round would be for him to be removed from the school. So far, my lad has not retaliated, but like me, he has got a temper. It's only a matter of time before he loses it. I have told the wife that I will back him all the way if he does. Edited December 12, 2015 by ozzy518 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 I have been keeping a log of all the incidents , worst of which is when this kid spat in my sons face. For that the other lad was sent to the head. The problem is, this lad just cannot learn what's right n wrong. He is supervised 1 to 1 in the classroom but at breaks he is not. The best solution all round would be for him to be removed from the school. So far, my lad has not retaliated, but like me, he has got a temper. It's only a matter of time before he loses it. I have told the wife that I will back him all the way if he does. If the school think he needs 1 to 1 supervision, they know there's something wrong with him. To withdraw that supervision at break times smacks of negligence to me. Whether there's something wrong with that other kid or not, his behaviour is not acceptable and you and your son shouldn't have to "make allowances". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodp Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 I have been keeping a log of all the incidents , worst of which is when this kid spat in my sons face. For that the other lad was sent to the head. The problem is, this lad just cannot learn what's right n wrong. He is supervised 1 to 1 in the classroom but at breaks he is not. The best solution all round would be for him to be removed from the school. So far, my lad has not retaliated, but like me, he has got a temper. It's only a matter of time before he loses it. I have told the wife that I will back him all the way if he does. I would quite happily have told my son to wallop him. If it brings on a fit then so be it, they've been told about it so should have acted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenduri Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 Thug parents going to thug. Good on you for keeping your cool and being the man in that situation OP. Obviously the other kid has an amazing role model father to learn from and I'm sure we'll all be paying for his prison care in 15 years time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winnie&bezza Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 I was brought up that if someone hits you then hit them back twice as hard but never hit first.Bullies don't take any notice of verbal punishment from teachers and will want to get the child being bullying back if they have told the teacher. They need a thunderous right hand to bring them down to earth and be shown up in front of everyone. They are usually cowardly and insecure people. I'm already planning what to do with my 1 year old daughter and will probably send her to martial arts and teach her to box as I used to. It's just a worry about knives nowadays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephensedgwick Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 I would quite happily have told my son to wallop him. If it brings on a fit then so be it, they've been told about it so should have acted. +1 to that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digger Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 (edited) Really? keep a record and take legal action against the school ? is that your best solution. The other kid ( the fact he is Polish is relevant how ? ) clearly has health issues both mental and physical. Maybe the best bet would be to approach the local education authority if the school isn't or won't be more pro active. Edited December 12, 2015 by digger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy518 Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 I believe it is relevant him being Polish..... I think it is adding to his problems. As well as his existing learning difficulties, he is also having to learn a completely new language too. It may be frustration that he can only express in the way he does. So, the fact that I mentioned him being Polish was not a rascist dig. I really don't want my lad to smack him one. It could bring on a fit n my lad would be traumatised that he caused it, also not good for the rest of the kids to see. The head is aware of our thoughts on this and I have been told they are trying to resolve things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secretagentmole Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 Really? keep a record and take legal action against the school ? is that your best solution. The other kid ( the fact he is Polish is relevant how ? ) clearly has health issues both mental and physical. Maybe the best bet would be to approach the local education authority if the school isn't or won't be more pro active. Simple the school is ultimately responsible for granting this child a place there. If by granting that child a place there they deem it necessary to keep him under supervision it must be at all times in order to protect the health and safety of other pupils. To withdraw this cover at break times means that attacks are being carried out. The school knows it and is doing nothing, therefore they are complicit in aiding and abetting the child in his victimisation of others. I have worked with people with both mental and physical disabilities. They knew the difference between right and wrong, this child is using his alleged disability as an excuse and is getting away with it. The school has a duty in loco parentis and it is not doing it's duty, a child is suffering both physical and psychological abuse as a result. Nothing is being sorted out, therefore legal action will get something sorted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickS Posted December 13, 2015 Report Share Posted December 13, 2015 Well done for staying calm - it is so tempting to take a swing but that immediately puts you in the wrong. Now, to wear my other hat, I am a teacher and I would like to make a couple of comments: first, all schools have a bullying issue and those who say they don't are a long way behind those who admit it; second, there is a practical limit to what you, as a teacher, can do, just as in the same way a parent can never stop a child misbehaving - we do try but we simply cannot stop everything; thirdly, even if a kid has serious issues, cuts to,the system means that only the most serious cases can result in a child being sent to a special school as there are so few places available. One problem is the way the system categorises kids with problems without providing the help needed to overcome them. Saying that, the school does have a duty of care but before going down the legal route (expensive), use the published complaints process. Ultimately, you can go to OFSTED and trust me, no head teacher wants to go under that spotlight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickS Posted December 13, 2015 Report Share Posted December 13, 2015 Simple the school is ultimately responsible for granting this child a place there. If by granting that child a place there they deem it necessary to keep him under supervision it must be at all times in order to protect the health and safety of other pupils. To withdraw this cover at break times means that attacks are being carried out. The school knows it and is doing nothing, therefore they are complicit in aiding and abetting the child in his victimisation of others. I have worked with people with both mental and physical disabilities. They knew the difference between right and wrong, this child is using his alleged disability as an excuse and is getting away with it. The school has a duty in loco parentis and it is not doing it's duty, a child is suffering both physical and psychological abuse as a result. Nothing is being sorted out, therefore legal action will get something sorted! You seem to be under a few misconceptions here. Whilst what you believe is sensible and logical, schools do not operate in that world. A school has to have a published admissions policy which lays down priorities if oversubscribed. A normal state school has no discretion over whether a child is offered a place or not. If the child has a statement of special needs, is registered disabled or is a "looked after child", the school has absolutely no powers of discretion - if the parents want them to go to a particular school, that's it. It trumps anything and, if the school refuses to admit them, the parents can appeal and the school will be obliged to take them. I cannot say in this particular case but the statement about everyone knowing right from wrong is patently untrue and recognised in law (think diminished responsibility and temporary insanity). On this level, a child with such difficulties may simply not be able to control their emotions and impulses. "In loco parentis" literally means "in place of parents" and simply conveys certain rights that a parent has. We can, for example, put a child in detention or, interestingly in this case, physically intervene to stop them hurting themselves or others without laying yourself open to charges of assault or complaints. The duty of care falls under another tag but is there nevertheless and I agree that the school is failing in this respect. When I hear suggestions to take legal action, whilst it may well be needed as an absolutely last resort, the law is expensive and slow, particularly in a civil case like this. That is why I suggested going through the complaints process first. It is also one of the first questions a court will ask - whether you have followed procedures. The first thing to do is to look at the school's key policies, particularly those related to bullying, admissions and complaints - they have to be published and accessible so look at the school website. I am sure that a lawyer will be able to confirm this but I am pretty sure that before a child is actually harmed, legal action will only result in a school being forced to act on its own published policies. I hope the matter is resolved quickly. Nick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sian Posted December 13, 2015 Report Share Posted December 13, 2015 Just read through most of these. Firstly in my school that twonk of a father would have been banned from entering school premises in my school, no ifs or buts. Secondly Ofsted is the right organisation if you feel a school is not handling bullying right. The mentioning of calling them would probably be enough to get the school to act. Thirdly the boy with special needs is being failed by those around him. I'm guessing he cannot help himself and unfortunately your child has become his fixation. Depending on what his special need is of course he cannot be held responsible for his actions, he doesn't know how to socialise, he needs to be taught. It's not as easy as just moving schools often there aren't places in specialised schools. Again Ofsted could be involved as the school is failing both your child and the child who is not able to cope well without close supervision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team tractor Posted December 13, 2015 Report Share Posted December 13, 2015 I've told my son to punch a bully if he's not started it and getting hurt. My sons a little solid thing . I've also told him if I ever catch him bullying I'll give him a clout myself. He's 6 years old and never hurt anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftycarper Posted December 13, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2015 That's a hard one but here's a question regarding this lad, is he only picking on your son? Surely if this issue is being blamed on a medical condition then it would be happening to other kids and possibly teachers and there should be complaints from other parents. if not then he is surely in control of his actions and therefore a bully? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftycarper Posted December 13, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2015 It's a pain all this, my grandson has had a few problems with being picked on but he sticks up for himself. When you look in the playground there is something like two teachers to look after God knows how many children and that's were the problem is, I have told my grandson to always try and play near or around the adults as the bullies will not do anything near them, silly I know but the problem is often enough they only see the latter half were you push or hit back then they get the blame for starting it. Schools have changed a great deal since we were there and even more so since my children attended which was only in last 18 years, lots of policy's, health & safety, welfare and the fact as mentioned earlier learning difficulties( which they have special schools for once accessed) but the biggest problem all this to one side is the good old Jeremy Kyle syndrome...the inbreds, they are not all foreigners etc etc we do a very good job of breeding our own scumbags, the ones who do not want to get on in life and find it amusing to not let anyone else get on either. They are gobby,violent,thieving low life's who get by on benefits and other peoples misfortunes and also seem to always come up smelling of roses when the **** hits the fan. All the reasons above are why I really can't stand this country and the way it's run anymore, saddens me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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