Pirate Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 If there is anyone bold or stupid enough to admit to wearing a rug? Are they comfy? Do they have to be attached to your bonce or do they 'grip' by thenselves? I've seen one advertised that you can swim in. Actually, I am pondering on the 'Tony Curtis' model, but the Bruce Forsyth one is on a great BOGOF deal at 'Wigs R us'. Yes, you could say I was going thin if you were a heathen, but if you were a decent person you would say you hadn't noticed when we met! I do want to change my image somewhat, and am fed up with wearing a hat 24/7. If anyone suggests that I get a 'Davey Crockett hat and kill two birds with one stone, I've heard that one. Being pointed at in the street by small children, and being ridiculed in the Barbers and called "Mr Bar Code" is starting to make me feel inadequate. I actually want to 'buck the trend' and get one which matches my own hair. Unconventional I Know, but that's me! Any one got any advice or suggestions? Pirate: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutley Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 YeaH Put a PATCH over the other eye too then you wont see the kids pointing at you Soz couldnt resist that one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Sweepy Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 be bald and be proud i am xxxxsuzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerico Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Have a tatoo of a rabbit put on your head! From a distance it will look like hare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 I thought being bald headed was the new cool ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Outlaw Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 If you want the next time Calam gets waxed I will fish it all out of the bin and pop round with it :lol: I doubt if you would want mine Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chard Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Just crop what's left of your barnet, or shave it You can tell a syrup a mile off :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Outlaw Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 be bald and be proud i am xxxxsuzy Join the club Suzy Calam and I have a full heads of hair Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Pirate All these years and I did not realise your were bald! I just thought you shaved it off to look COOL! If you do go for a Syrup then get a longer bit on one side so you can comb it over the top - women go for that all the time especially when it is windy. Also carry a comb in your top pocket with a little bit sticking out - not sure why but most flick over types do! Hair translant is also a good solution - perhaps you could go curly or a soft wave with some lowlights! You could also pop down to the local barbers with some gripfill and look in the offcut bin! Good Luck Calam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerico Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 You could also pop down to the local barbers with some gripfill Marmite will do the job just a well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berettaman1 Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 My wife said to me yesterday, (hey shorty you are losing your hair you old ***!!!! why dont you have a trasplant!).......I replied ...DONT BE SILLY I WOULD LOOK DAFT WITH A KIDNEY ON MY HEAD!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Outlaw Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 My wife said to me yesterday, (hey shorty you are losing your hair you old ***!!!! why dont you have a trasplant!).......I replied ...DONT BE SILLY I WOULD LOOK DAFT WITH A KIDNEY ON MY HEAD!! Trust you I cant wait to meet you, you sound like a true nutter like me Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirate Posted January 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 And I thought you were my friends!!! The Marmite ruse was a nightmare, admittedly, I shouldn't have gone 'collar n cuffs.' I couldn't find a kidney, but a bag of warm liver looked stupid. I tried on my brother's 'Shirley Bassey' Piece, but my Mrs said I looked too pretty for a man. So I think I may settle on the "Art Garfunkel' look, with the donated whiskers that Calam doesn't need, and , it would be a decent colour match to my sideburns!! Pirate: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Outlaw Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 I can assure you she isnt grey down there Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berettaman1 Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 (edited) YES YES YES!!! OK I admit I wear a rug, not any old type though I wear a Tony Curtis one Ala" The Vikings" type which had nubile young women panting after him and wanting to bear his children!!! Unfortunatly due to my old age, ( I was going to say venerable ) but knowing you lot I knew you would change it to veneereable !!) I missed that out!..(.However I digress, once I had the syrup I realised My sideburns had to be dyed jet black to match, ) also of course my tache and spanish type beard!!!. and I can say , in all honesty, I look a ringer for Capn, Jack Sparrow in the rousing film " PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEARN" this is of course from a distance of 300 yards!!!If the faint hearted of you dont agree then please ask the lovely JONESEY, who will admit I hope that she could not keep her hands off me? the last time we met!!!(only a joke)MMWaah. Edited January 12, 2008 by berettaman1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Outlaw Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 You could be the Pirates long lost bruv, do you have an earing? I'm sure Jonsey is a lady with impeccable taste, she will no doubt confirm her desires and longing for you Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter-peter Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 If there is anyone bold or stupid enough to admit to wearing a rug? Are they comfy? Do they have to be attached to your bonce or do they 'grip' by thenselves? I've seen one advertised that you can swim in. Actually, I am pondering on the 'Tony Curtis' model, but the Bruce Forsyth one is on a great BOGOF deal at 'Wigs R us'. Yes, you could say I was going thin if you were a heathen, but if you were a decent person you would say you hadn't noticed when we met! I do want to change my image somewhat, and am fed up with wearing a hat 24/7. If anyone suggests that I get a 'Davey Crockett hat and kill two birds with one stone, I've heard that one. Being pointed at in the street by small children, and being ridiculed in the Barbers and called "Mr Bar Code" is starting to make me feel inadequate. I actually want to 'buck the trend' and get one which matches my own hair. Unconventional I Know, but that's me! Any one got any advice or suggestions? Pirate: hey up lad do like us yorkies an shave your head. wigs are for ponces. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishybarney Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 This maybe of use for rough shooting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 get a pair of clippers ((£10) and shave away , nothing the matter with being bald , but , hiding the fact will make you look like a right bellend imho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Outlaw Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 He does already Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berettaman1 Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 Eher I hope you are responding to Pirate!! and not to me !! you *%$£^&% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirate Posted January 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 Knowing deep down inside I should just accept baldness, I decided you are right. This very afternoon, when I got back from my weaving club, I set about shaving my head. Apart from a shortage of shaving foam, it went quite well actually, Cilit bang was a fair substitute and before long my entire head was shaven!! Nowadays, my hands are not as steady as they once were, so a good thing I'd had a couple of bottles of Night-nurse, as the stinging from the nicks and razor-burns, were by this time, quite severe. You know when you sometimes get carried away with something, well by half past three my entire body was as smooth as a newborn baby. And although I say it myself, I look COOL!!! I had to get the Missus to get me a small pack of plasters from the Co-op, but most won't show when I'm dressed. I have now realised that using a septic stick on your scrotum is a bad idea! Couple of downsides to being so smooth, Dressing gown keeps slipping off, and so does my hat! Still, thanks for the advise, I feel a new man now! Pirate: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Outlaw Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 (edited) So will maggot you looney :lol: And no Bman1 I didnt mean you mate Tony Edited January 11, 2008 by The Outlaw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirate Posted January 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 ******!!!! Just slipped off the chair. Pirate: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 Still, thanks for the advise, I feel a new man now! Pirate: [/font][/color] I cannot believe you have aired your needs online! What have I told you about feeling new men! Wrong so very wrong and I thought you were decent chap! well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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