Wesman Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 What are your experiences/thoughts on this? My parents in law are ok but the sister in law boils my ****. It's not that she's Jeremy Kyle fodder of the highest order, but her parents fall over themselves to help her and her kids when her current on/off/on/off/on/off boyfriend beats her up or he's back on drugs or whatever. I can count on my fingers the amount of times they've been round to our house to see our kids. Maybe it's because we're educated, emploed, decent people. I don't know. Last night my little boy had his fingers round the door at the in-laws and someone started to close the door. I shouted "don't close the door" in a panicked fashion and all of a sudden I have chavette in law screaming her nuts off swearing at me in front of everyone for shouting at her kids. I didn't know who was closing the door; just trying to stop an accident. Anyway she's spoiling for a fight, proper fist fight cos she's a scrote remember and I'm trying to talk to her. Her mum then runs outside with CIL and CIL speeds off in the car. I take my family and leave bewildered. The mrs is on my side, but she thinks I'm being unreasonable when I say I'm not going round to the in laws again. CIL lives there with her 2 kids to 2 different dads while she's taking refuge from her boyfriend. The mother in law rung my mrs last night after ringing the favoured daughter first and said she's not taking sides. Have you lot had bust ups like this? How do you handle this without upsetting the mrs? Has anyone just cut contact with the in laws before? Just a vent as well guys because I'm fuming. I'm quite talented at hurting people but doing it outside the gym is not an option. With it being bank hols, my gym is closed so I can't get rid of the frustration. Hopefully off out with my parents and family who see my kids 2-3 times a week and take an active part in their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majordisorder Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I've contemplated a shovel and Epping Forest many, many times....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesman Posted April 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I've contemplated a shovel and Epping Forest many, many times....... Haha. It must be because we can't tell them to shut up like we can our own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeds chimp Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I live with my MIL as waiting for the house to be sold and echanged...been waiting for 6 months now......long story we both have our moments but 99% of the time i just walk away and cant be ***** argueing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloke Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I had almost exactly the same problem with my SIL, but the MIL sided with her. we tried hard to work hard and be a decent couple, but they just spent their time breeding and claiming benefits, telling me how much of a mug I was. After the last slangin match I told them "the door swings the same way on the way out!" and the next time I saw the MIL was at her funeral! Sorry, but I've no time for this "be nice cos they are your family" bit, at least I can chose my friends and they are more genuine. Hope it works out for you, whatever you choose to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodcock11 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 What are your experiences/thoughts on this? My parents in law are ok but the sister in law boils my ****. It's not that she's Jeremy Kyle fodder of the highest order, but her parents fall over themselves to help her and her kids when her current on/off/on/off/on/off boyfriend beats her up or he's back on drugs or whatever. I can count on my fingers the amount of times they've been round to our house to see our kids. Maybe it's because we're educated, emploed, decent people. I don't know. Last night my little boy had his fingers round the door at the in-laws and someone started to close the door. I shouted "don't close the door" in a panicked fashion and all of a sudden I have chavette in law screaming her nuts off swearing at me in front of everyone for shouting at her kids. I didn't know who was closing the door; just trying to stop an accident. Anyway she's spoiling for a fight, proper fist fight cos she's a scrote remember and I'm trying to talk to her. Her mum then runs outside with CIL and CIL speeds off in the car. I take my family and leave bewildered. The mrs is on my side, but she thinks I'm being unreasonable when I say I'm not going round to the in laws again. CIL lives there with her 2 kids to 2 different dads while she's taking refuge from her boyfriend. The mother in law rung my mrs last night after ringing the favoured daughter first and said she's not taking sides. Have you lot had bust ups like this? How do you handle this without upsetting the mrs? Has anyone just cut contact with the in laws before? Just a vent as well guys because I'm fuming. I'm quite talented at hurting people but doing it outside the gym is not an option. With it being bank hols, my gym is closed so I can't get rid of the frustration. Hopefully off out with my parents and family who see my kids 2-3 times a week and take an active part in their lives. You have my sympathy - never a truer saying that "you can choose your friends but not your rellies" - sometimes I think sainthood beckons. We have two Danish sisters in law plus husbands coming for the Easter weekend - plenty of Carlsberg in the fridge plus wines etc and I KNOW from past experiences it will be fun - does not always work for everyone so we are grateful. If you can take the moral highground and do to others as you would like them to do to you, then you are in the clear and think back after the nightmare visit is over that you did right and enjoy a celebratory glass with your other half and maybe have a laugh about it with some of your REAL friends. Best of luck and try to keep your cool - you hold the moral high ground - remember that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 You have my sympathy - never a truer saying that "you can choose your friends but not your rellies" - sometimes I think sainthood beckons. We have two Danish sisters in law plus husbands coming for the Easter weekend - plenty of Carlsberg in the fridge plus wines etc and I KNOW from past experiences it will be fun - does not always work for everyone so we are grateful. If you can take the moral highground and do to others as you would like them to do to you, then you are in the clear and think back after the nightmare visit is over that you did right and enjoy a celebratory glass with your other half and maybe have a laugh about it with some of your REAL friends. Best of luck and try to keep your cool - you hold the moral high ground - remember that! Two Danish sister in laws and a fridge full of Carlsberg. Sounds ok to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackpowder Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Two danish sister in laws and a fridge full of Carlsberg. Sounds ok to me Anyone got the ferry times? Blackpowder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 All you have to remember is that you married your wife, not her family. However, never make her choose between you and them. It shouldn't be too difficult to make sure CIL is not around if you visit them, or get them to visit you and leave CIL at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesman Posted April 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I wouldn't make her choose Cranfield. I'm the reasonable one. I've just said I'll drop the mrs and kids off when she wants to visit and I'll hit the gym for an hour. They won't visit us at our house 5 minutes away. CIL and her boyfriend are moving into a house the father in law has bought and renovated next weekend at a very cheap rate so they won't be there that often, but my mrs is worried if she visits her mum and CIL calls round she won't have me to back her up. She's a bully really but I don't fall for it. She blows her top regularly. I think the spark this time has been that we're going on holiday with my parents for my Dads 50th but we didn't go away for the father in laws 50th last year. The reason we didn't is because my job has been shaky for a while and the 2 other times we've been away with them she has caused around 4 fights, on one occasion biting her boyfriends face in a family bar because she was so drunk. Guess who minds the kids when they're both hungover/fighting too - us! We have kids of our own to look after. Because we don't get trashed when we've got kids to look after we're boring too. Sorry for my ramblings lads. It's so bloody annoying always feeling like I'm the bad guy when I've done nothing wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
decoying mad Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Whats the difference between in laws and out laws Out laws are wanted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bombadil Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I would never see them again. They sound like horrible people. If your wife wants to see them so be it, but you're not there to get treated like... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesman Posted April 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 The parents in law are ok. They just dote on darling CIL mate and it drives me mad. She can do no wrong in their eyes and when she does do bad things they don't want to know. After taking refuge in their house for 6 months, you could tell she was trying to soften them up to getting back with him for the 20th time by showing them a clean drug test (I kid you not.....scum or what?) and saying he's changed. My mrs is lovely, has a great job, is very honest and caring; in short, nothing like her sister. Because she's the way she is, her parents don't really bother with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guss109 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Its a big can of worms and can get messy. Ive got to deal with this most times i go for a pint as we live in the same village my sils man is just a drunken idiot who thinks he can start trouble with a man at least half his age. So the wife has disowned her sister and i just bite my tounge now its been ongoing for 5 years now. Just dont give them the pleasure of getting to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSPUK Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 My SIL is a complete and utter slut - selfish -me me me and has ruined her sister (my wife) mother and Fathers lives - I have her name in phone as slut ******* etc and will not answer it if that comes up - I said to wife next time I see her it will be dancing on her coffin - her son is no better and her daughter is turning out the same. - Just need SIL to die and my life will be free of hassle. - I am so glad I am not only one suffering. - 35 yrs I have had this. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesman Posted April 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 A problem shared Dave. I'm glad it's not just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rimotu66 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Wes mate, I have met you and could tell you was a fine level headed guy (and your little girl was a princess), as has already been said dont try to force your Mrs to break with her family as it will likely cause problems for you. Also (I know I dont need to say but I will) do NOT get involved with fists etc as you will lose out big time, you are a trained marshall arts (If memory serves me right) expert and you have a shotgun licence . YOU cannot afford to get mixed up with violence. Ride the waves mate , just count your self lucky you have the good one of the brood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight32 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I had it in the early days, it always seems like chalk and cheese. Problem I find is the poorer of the two evils always get the sympathy. I am quite a strong willed and so is my missus and they get nowhere. My SIL wanted to borrow some money once to ease her so called suffering of debt, I just no and she has'nt been back since. I dont worry about it as at the end of the day it is them who have nothing and be on the losing end every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocker3 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 your not the only one m8 my sil is a fat lazy**** she has a wee girl and she must be the lazyist ####er under the sun. ask your uncle if he'll take you a walk with the dogs (coz a cant be ***** )if she can get some one to do it for her she will. wont clean her house the mil does it the nice goes to the mil for every thing from dinner to getting changed . av blowen ma top about it a few times mil is 73 and not able to look after my nice all day she even makes my nice go to bed a 7pm so she can got to her bed instead of doing some house. work you just can't educate pork mate ingnore her and get on with your own life best of luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GW80 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I wish my ex sister in law had of been a slut!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodcock11 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Anyone got the ferry times? Blackpowder The Danish sisters in law + husbands are here [aka the Viking Invasion] all is cool, no Carlsberg tonight but we have had some NZ Sauvignon Blanc and a great Danish/Irish fish pie with cod/portavogie prawns/colcannon etc - to die for and the Danes are very happy. So a mega in law success - if you are dreading an in law visit,try to think ouside the box, take control of the situation and you will inevitably be the winner, Above all remember that YOU are in charge of YOUR OWN CASTLE! GOOD LUCK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smig4373 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I wish i'd killed mine when i met them....I'd be out by now....Pure evil.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shot shot Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 The Danish sisters in law + husbands are here [aka the Viking Invasion] all is cool, no Carlsberg tonight but we have had some NZ Sauvignon Blanc and a great Danish/Irish fish pie with cod/portavogie prawns/colcannon etc - to die for and the Danes are very happy. So a mega in law success - if you are dreading an in law visit,try to think ouside the box, take control of the situation and you will inevitably be the winner, Above all remember that YOU are in charge of YOUR OWN CASTLE! GOOD LUCK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smig4373 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I wish my ex sister in law had of been a slut!! The times ive thought this.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albob Posted April 3, 2010 Report Share Posted April 3, 2010 Wes mate, I have met you and could tell you was a fine level headed guy (and your little girl was a princess), as has already been said dont try to force your Mrs to break with her family as it will likely cause problems for you. Also (I know I dont need to say but I will) do NOT get involved with fists etc as you will lose out big time, you are a trained marshall arts (If memory serves me right) expert and you have a shotgun licence . YOU cannot afford to get mixed up with violence. Ride the waves mate , just count your self lucky you have the good one of the brood. i too have met wes and totally agree with the above. atb al Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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