jonesbach Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 bl**dy bulleys! hope your lads ok! i know you dont want to encourage him to fight but n the other hand, you cant let this happen to often. i know kids will be kids but stubbing cigs out aint just a fistycuffs no more! when i was his age, i took up self defence martial arts..aikido, just 1001 to break an arm but also very effective self defence without snapping anything. could be worth a look for your boy, enjoyable sport to do and comes in handy when its needed. chin up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
libs Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 Its really good to see what your typing, looks like you couldn't be doing any more for the kid to make sure he turns out as a good'un. It seems hes got a good old man to look up to. Hope the lads feeling better now, bruises and confidence.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richie223 Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 You are SO wrong. This is the lamest of excuses. What do you mean 'with nothing to do or nowhere to go'? This is ridiculous. They should not roam the streets at night, their parents' company and advice, a good book or some table games (pictionary, taboo or something like that) is all they should need. Children NEED to use their imagination and creativity, they DO NOT NEED to roam the streets drinking, smoking and making a nuisance. MM I hope your lad is well. We have all taken a beating as children (and we fought back or not) and it did not kill us or scar us for life. Take this opportunity to talk to him about the importance of respect for others and ones' self, decency and being able to stand for oneself. Either by fighting back or by being able to forget it and understand that his future is SO MUCH DIFFERENT than that of these scum. its not a lame excuse it fact Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 I think that by teaching any child that a physical response to bullying is wrong you are setting the child up for a miserable time.No matter how we wrap up the laws of the playground the basic human instinct of violence will prevail and the weaker kids will suffer one way or another.I have drummed it into my boy that he should never hit anybody unless in defense of himself or another child that he feels needs protecting.He was taught to fight at proper martial arts classes where the teacher was always reminding the students that they must show responsibilty whenever called upon to use force.We can all argue the rights and wrongs of violence and i firmly believe that at times its use is justified-up to the age of 9 my lads school life was wretched-giving my son the ability to defend himself was my only option when the school would do nothing to help- its taken the result of 2 bruised faces to turn his life around.Teach your boy to fight-but more importantly when you,ve done so-teach him WHEN to fight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MM Posted August 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 Well you lot, you have certainly given a mixed bag of views on this. Its nice that the main thing is concern for MM junior. As i left for work tonight he seems to be over the shock now, and ive had him helping me all day to keep his mind off it. Its now in the hands of the law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacky Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 Hope the lad is ok MM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 Problem is, who knows what gets brought to a brawl. No matter what training you have you wouldn't actually want to just bring your fists to a fight when the other person(s) have brought something extra like a knife. One of my mates got his teeth knocked out with a Grolsch bottle in our local when we were about 17. He has had a lifetime of dental work and grief and for what? He can't even remember what it was all about; it certainly wasn't important. It's a real shame when you see people getting seriously hurt or losing their lives over something that seems like nothing - like telling the local yobs to stop kicking a football at your window, like that fella on Panorama the other night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J@mes Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 Be aware that sending him to karate/ jujitsu etc could have the reverse effect of making bullies more wary of him - A bloke I work with sent his son to karate and he got on quite well, made it to brown belt. BUT the lads who had been picking on him knew this and it made him more of a trophy and about 2 years ago he got the absolute **** kicked out of him, rather than just the beatings he had got before. It will give him the skills he needs to make blocks, punches, kicks or whatever is being taught but he has to be able to use them, in anger. It's fine being able to carry out the moves in the safe and controlled environment that is the dojo, but the real world is completely different. Even since I was at school (10 years ago) the game has moved on considerably when it comes to schoolboy fighting. Last time I was in a fight (at 16) the other lad and I battered eachother and eventually reached a stalemate where we couldn't go on. But that was where it ended - I didn't go and get all my mates, he didn't go get his, neither of us went for a knife/ bottle/ brick, it just stopped when the fight did - but that doesn't seem to be the "done thing" any more, where one-upmanship seems to carry these things on with terrible consequences. One other thing I would say is that telling your son not to fight back isn't a wise move IMO. My old man always said (and I think someone else on here has said it too) "don't start a fight, but have a bloody good go at finishing it" glad to read he is doing ok and hopefully (but doubtfully) the law will sort the other lads out. No doubt they'll get digital cameras and trips to alton towers because of their terrible lives Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MM Posted August 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 Be aware that sending him to karate/ jujitsu etc could have the reverse effect of making bullies more wary of him - A bloke I work with sent his son to karate and he got on quite well, made it to brown belt. BUT the lads who had been picking on him knew this and it made him more of a trophy and about 2 years ago he got the absolute **** kicked out of him, rather than just the beatings he had got before. It will give him the skills he needs to make blocks, punches, kicks or whatever is being taught but he has to be able to use them, in anger. It's fine being able to carry out the moves in the safe and controlled environment that is the dojo, but the real world is completely different. Even since I was at school (10 years ago) the game has moved on considerably when it comes to schoolboy fighting. Last time I was in a fight (at 16) the other lad and I battered eachother and eventually reached a stalemate where we couldn't go on. But that was where it ended - I didn't go and get all my mates, he didn't go get his, neither of us went for a knife/ bottle/ brick, it just stopped when the fight did - but that doesn't seem to be the "done thing" any more, where one-upmanship seems to carry these things on with terrible consequences. One other thing I would say is that telling your son not to fight back isn't a wise move IMO. My old man always said (and I think someone else on here has said it too) "don't start a fight, but have a bloody good go at finishing it" glad to read he is doing ok and hopefully (but doubtfully) the law will sort the other lads out. No doubt they'll get digital cameras and trips to alton towers because of their terrible lives Merseysides finest are taking MY SON quad biking on Friday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pearce Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 I lost faith in my local constabulary a long time ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J@mes Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 Merseysides finest are taking MY SON quad biking on Friday gobsmacked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulf Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 I used to get bullied really badly at secondary school and as I had been taught not to hit back was an easy target...... that was until about 15 or 16 when something flipped and I lost it and gave the kid an absolute pasting, was one of the best things to ever come from school and did my self confidence a power of good all bullying stopped. Teach him to read a situation ie know when to run if outnumbered and when to stand ground and defend himself if cornered, taking the blows will just weaken his confidence and although in theory the 'right thing' IMO is not sensible in the real world. Hope he gets over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sarakun Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 Sorry to hear about your son MM, but also chuffed to see it concluded with a pleasant result, ie; the Quad biking. They don't have to do that and I hope it bolsters your view of Mersey's Finest. One of my biggest fears is not to be there when any of my kids need me most, an inevitable situation, the first of which I do not look forward to, though deal with it I certainly will. A good mixed bag of advice from the reliable PW. members, though having led a violent childhood, being the son of a German prisoner of war, I will not put my views here. I feel that if your son implements some of the advice given on this thread, he will become a more confident and well balanced man for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad93 Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) Sorry to hear about your lad MM, hope he's doing alright now. Can't say i'd reccommend karate tbh, don't think it done much for me and i done it for maybe a year and got to orange belt. If you do go down the lines of going to some self defence lines i'd go for something a bit weightier Failing that when he gets a bit older get him down the gym :( Like many here i was always taught turn the other cheek etc and went through the police route after being "happy slapped" more like punched in the side of the face as i walked through a door, while the attacker and mates legged it. In the end a lad started taking the ****, randomly hitting me as i walked past etc being the average bully and i completly lost it, punched him in the stomach grabbed his arms pushed him backwards until he just stood there. we get along quite well now Edited August 26, 2010 by Brad93 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lloyd90 Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) Sod that mate, you tell him if someone hits him first then its free for all. I never start fights and normally choose to walk away and laugh at the fool but if someone lays hands on me or someone with me then its on! :( Oh an if you want something for him to do that adds character, toughness, discipline and amazing fitness then get him down the boxing gym, learn the good old way of defending yourself, none of this hugging em on the floor rubbish. If you ever get into a fight in the street the last thing you ever want to do is go to ground! Edited August 26, 2010 by Bigthug87 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesman Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 Hugging on the floor bigthug? Please don't tell me you are saying my beloved brazillian jiu jitsu is rubbish? I've fought plenty of boxers mate and although I got lamped once in a fight, as soon as I took him to ground he was tapping and crying like a girl saying I'd tore his shoulder. This is organised competitions and sparring sessions though, not street fights. Street fights are for chavs. Boxing is good self defence and great for self esteem. It gives lads discipline and confidence. If you want your lad to be really able to look after himself, the classic combo of BJJ and muay Thai will mean not many bullies will stick around. Many mixed martial arts schools do kids sessions. He'll also be fit enough to run away should he need to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death from below Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 This is where the policing pledge has fallen down (or never actually took off). The police are meant to listen to local concerns and address them - so if your local community thinks littering or speeding or street muggungs is the priority (etc etc) then the local police are meant to target those concerns - it just does not happen - forces are still financed on how well they deal with central govenment targets - an incident of this type can and does have a life long impact but becasue it may not be happening there anf then, it is down graded to the poor response already mentioned - I am a strong believer theat the parents/gaurdians should be made as responsible as the little rat who has done a crime - that would soon make the feral parents start paying an interest in their feral offsrping - yeah, sure there are parents who have what can only be decribed as a wrong 'un but in most caess it is down to lack of parental discipline/interest/values/control - fight the cause and the problem usually disappears. I am glad to hear merseyside police are throwing a resource at the victim of crime - I'm sure your son will love the quad biking - all too often money is spent on little sheetbags who commit the crimes which is a complete disgrace as far as I'm concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MM Posted August 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 update: Offender arrested last night. Bailed with conditions. Son is doing very well. Seems to be over the pyisical side of things, and mentaly appears to be on the mend. Now ive calmed down, im back to my tree hugging ways Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun4860 Posted August 27, 2010 Report Share Posted August 27, 2010 Nice to see they got arrested, The truth of the matter will be the eventual outcome, no doubt a slap on the wrist and told not to do it again, Glad the boy is getting over it... shaun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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