unapalomablanca Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 All it takes for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing. Today you did something, you put yourself out, in order to look out for the safety and welfare of someone who couldn't look out for themselves due to their age. You obviously was objective in your assesment of the situation as to whether it was firm chastisment or abuse, and whilst cautious of over reacting still thought it appropriate to call the police. Calling the police was the right thing to do, you avoided direct confrontation with a person who was in an irrational state of mind. You should be confident that you made the right decission, as it was probably a decission the friend wished she had had the courage to make some time ago. Like the second paragraph! Touching and bang on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul T Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 A good call mate. We weren't there, but we all know the difference between discipline and abuse so from your version of events I'd have made the same call. A quick clip round the ear or back of the legs never did me any harm, but it should be a last resort. All animals do it and it's amazing watching our cat mums bop their kittens round the ears occasionally. It's just enough to teach them the boundaries of appropriate behaviour, but there's an appropriate force involved to remind them who's in charge. Sounds like this particular mother had lost control a long while ago and resorted to bullying to try to regain it, but no child should be subjected to that abuse. Let's hope the situation is not allowed to happen again. Well done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guest1957 Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 There's a line between reasonable chastisement and child abuse. By smacking her with the force you describe around the head she clearly went a long way over that line. By reporting it you at least brought it to the attention to people have real power to pervent harm in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acoxau Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 (edited) Surely said fat woman wasn't that hungry? Crumbed and grilled is a much healthier way to go. Reading the OP made me feel twisted in my tummy. I have a lovely 14 mth old girl and would hate to think of any child going through this. I got the slipper once from my dad and again once at school and deserved it (or more!) and my disciplined Chinese wife will tap my babies hands if she does something wrong. However the scene you described was direct and unnecessary, just sickening child abuse. I wish the girl a very merry Christmas, AWAY from that behaviour. She would be welcome in our loving household here in Australia. And good on the police for having your back so rapidly! Last thing you would want is to become the target of her abuse, though bullies would rarely pick on someone their own size. Edited December 13, 2011 by Acoxau Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cottonseed Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 You did the right thing in the circumstance and you should not have any regrets,what ever the child did (if anything)could not have warranted that kind of punishment. Discipline is one thing but what you describe is not "discipline". Homes like that childs are the ones raising unruly children.It depresses me to see young innocent children being brought up in those surroundings with parents wo do not have a clue.They themselves grow up to be the same as their parents through no fault of their own. I am sure many others see the same scenario and despair. I support this view 100 per cent. That's why you did the right thing, Keg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stokeshooter Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 Was the kid a 'normal' nice kid or a feral underclass type of kid.? What a reply kids are kids you clearly cant see it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artschool Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 there is no success to be had here. 1. maybe mum was having a bad day and now has to deal with social services. 2. maybe mum deserves all she gets, but the child still has to deal with social services. hell is other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alanl50 Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 (edited) Had a bit of an upseetiing day today in that whilst buying some food at the station, i witnessed a child being verbally and physically abused by her mum. As a parent myself and one who broadly supports corporal punishment as a whole, i was shocked by what i saw. The child and her mother and a friend were having a coffee at a table next to mine and the mother was just ranting constantly at the child. The child then went into the shop to get away from her mother, she looked as if she had been sobbing for a while and it wasn't a " i want my own way" whine, it was big gulping sobs. The mother then stood at the door ******* and blinding. The child i think was somewhere betwen 7-9 yrs old. The mother then told her to "get out here or you will get some more" , set her into a chair and continued to lambast her with the child cowering. Then she suddenly reached over and belted her across the head, and when i say belt i mean a hard belt not a tap. She then did that again straight away and it was at this point I decided to get involved. I called 999 straight away then told the mother she could not do that again. She ignored me but within 1 minute of me making the call the police turned up. They took the mother off for a statement and took my details and my statement. I sat back down, the child was still sobbing and i said to the friend that i was sorry but i had been left with no choice. The friend sias that she had warned her a number of times and that the woman's ex partner was casuing stress etc. Whilst i sympathised i said that she could not take it out on her daughter. Hopefully the mother may now get any help she needs. It was a hard call as i only saw a few minutes of it and did not want to jump to conclusions about what i saw but i could not morally pass by. No contest you did the right thing and well done to you. Alan Edited December 13, 2011 by Alanl50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy. Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 You did the right thing. With what's going on at the moment in the news with the police not following through with complaints, this will be seen to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Monkey Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 (edited) there is no success to be had here. Why? 1. maybe mum was having a bad day and now has to deal with social services. And that's an excuse for assaulting a child?! 2. maybe mum deserves all she gets, but the child still has to deal with social services. And that's worse than dealing with an abusive mother, how? hell is other people. You got that one nailed Your respone in the thread about the teenager being kicked off the train... trains are too expensive anyway. definately assault. So from your responses we can deduce that if some unfortunate violence befalls your nearest and dearest, you will stand idly by lest you make the situation worse, whilst declaring that it was 'definately assault' Well at least you'll never need a vasectomy! Edited December 13, 2011 by Bad Monkey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artschool Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 Why? And that's an excuse for assaulting a child?! And that's worse than dealing with an abusive mother, how? You got that one nailed Your respone in the thread about the teenager being kicked off the train... So from your responses we can deduce that if some unfortunate violence befalls your nearest and dearest, you will stand idly by lest you make the situation worse, whilst declaring that it was 'definately assault' Well at least you'll never need a vasectomy! obviously you have never had dealings with social services or looked at the statistics for children in care and the effect it has on their lives. who apart from yourself mentioned nearest and dearest? and I don't think you have a good understanding of the subject if you are comparing a scrap on a train with child abuse. like I said. no winners here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Monkey Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 obviously you have never had dealings with social services or looked at the statistics for children in care and the effect it has on their lives. who apart from yourself mentioned nearest and dearest? and I don't think you have a good understanding of the subject if you are comparing a scrap on a train with child abuse. like I said. no winners here. So, are you saying that the child is worse off with social services than with an abusive parent? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artschool Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 So, are you saying that the child is worse off with social services than with an abusive parent? you cannot compare the two. they are both poor environments for a child to grow up in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Monkey Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 you cannot compare the two. they are both poor environments for a child to grow up in. Thankyou, at least now i see where you're coming from. For my part, it still wouldn't stop me from doing what the OP did. Too often nowadays people refrain from taking action incase they make things worse, and i dare say that occasionally their actions do make things worse, but if nobody ever did anything then things would be a whole lot worse. Humanity is a constantly evolving thing, it only improves through learning from mistakes and taking risks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayne78 Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 Good on you Definitely the right thing to do there's a big difference between a smack and beating. As for the 'into the care system' arguement the OP isn't responsible for how social services are run in this country and had to deal with the situation in front of him i.e. to protect the child. And the 'christmas' arguement, what the hell does it matter what day of the year it is if you're mother's beating seven shades of **** out of you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike525steel Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Good on you Kids don't need treatment like that.... It's on the same level when you see blokes kicking dogs on shoot days because of there own inability to train them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willy1 Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Two Words. Baby P.. So true. I reported my next door neighbour to the police for kicking his 9year old daughter in the back of the legs,he was a bully,and his marriage ended in divorce because of his violence. I've no regrets,now and never will have. You did the right thing. Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Just logged on this morning, thanks for all the comments, now convinced i did the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR1960 Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 A kid gets a well deserved smack on the legs.? its called assault by some who whimper about child abuse and cruelty as if the kid was being shot. a 7 to 9-year-old kid gets battered around the head, berated with profanities and basically physically abused to the point that someone totally detached from the kid steps in and rightly calls the police, yet some think that wrong and the abuse of the kid should have been ignored and the mother (loose term that anyone female can give birth not all can be mothers) should have been left to get on with it? a reality check is needed here if you can't tell well-intentioned discipline from total assault? then god help us all, as for the question what if the kid is taken away from the mother for Xmas, all I can say to that is the kid would probably be a darn sight better off for it. to the OP you did the right thing KW Absolutely spot on! Speaking as someone who regularly had the **** kicked out of them by both parents because they didn't see eye to eye I wish someone had stepped in instead of ignoring it, as was the practice in those days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handy4454 Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Good call chap, my wife still suffers from a perforated eardrum which was a result of repeated beatings, better to run the risk of a separation rather than lasting harm atb handy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jega Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Without doubt you did the right thing mate. How many times have we read the tragic details when no one intervened ? ,and the news is full of the usual neighbours/friends saying "if only" Well my friend while good people like yourself are around and prepared to step in, these unfortunate kiddies have at least one responsible adult looking out for their welfare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albertan_J Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 i saw an obese woman in tesco the other day saying to her young daughter if she didnt hurry up and choose her cereal she would batter her.. see stuff like this all the time That has the makings of a bad joke! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acoxau Posted December 15, 2011 Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 Why? And that's an excuse for assaulting a child?! And that's worse than dealing with an abusive mother, how? You got that one nailed Your respone in the thread about the teenager being kicked off the train... So from your responses we can deduce that if some unfortunate violence befalls your nearest and dearest, you will stand idly by lest you make the situation worse, whilst declaring that it was 'definately assault' Well at least you'll never need a vasectomy! Quite right. Dealing with someone who is not going to whack you around the noggin for anything has to be preferable to dealing with this 'mother'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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