steve_b_wales Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 My wife, bless her, is very intelligent, but she has a 'knack' of saying things that can sometimes be embarrassing! Back in September, while on holiday in Turkey, we had our wedding rings cleaned by the jeweller who made them for us. That evening, while out having a meal, she asked me, "Is my ring shining"? I almost choked on my meat. Today, after I made some stuffing, shaped them and them cooked them in the oven, she checked them, said they were cooked, and then said "Where do want to put your balls"? She was a bit shocked at my reply! Who else has a partner like mine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appollo Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 :lol: me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchieboy Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 I think the best "little gem" that my wife came out with was to someone that phoned up to speak to me about a shooting related issue. She told them that I was out shooting and followed it up by saying "He might be a while if things are like they were last night, he was shooting really well then"! I am led to believe that the line went quiet for a few seconds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sako751sg Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 My wife, bless her, is very intelligent, but she has a 'knack' of saying things that can sometimes be embarrassing! Back in September, while on holiday in Turkey, we had our wedding rings cleaned by the jeweller who made them for us. That evening, while out having a meal, she asked me, "Is my ring shining"? I almost choked on my meat.Today, after I made some stuffing, shaped them and them cooked them in the oven, she checked them, said they were cooked, and then said "Where do want to put your balls"? She was a bit shocked at my reply! Who else has a partner like mine? Hmmm,shes maybe nay the only one with the knack fella.Happy new year to you both though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 Earlier this year our neighbour came round to find my other half stretching backwards out of the window trying to clear the glass "Christine" she shouted "Have you got a strap on?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ossie1968 Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 Earlier this year our neighbour came round to find my other half stretching backwards out of the window trying to clear the glass "Christine" she shouted "Have you got a strap on?" and has she Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddy Galore! Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 at the butchers my wife keeps asking for stuffing. and a while back there was a tool company in norwich, can't remember the name but there was a guy on the counter who was bent as a nine bob, anyhoo, i went in there once for an angle grinder, and he was trying to sell me a cheapo refurbed 5 1/2" jobby, i replied nah mate i need a nine incher! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
88b Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 We had a guy in decorating the hall and stairs and Deb say and I would like one of those dildo rails too please. I thought he was going to have a heart attack laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayano3 Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 My Mrs hurt her 'Right Hand Foot' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbo1 Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 ive got an absolute corker and i still cant believe she said it even now to this day.....i took her and the kids to see england v hungary at wembley sometime ago (cheap family ticket...so i thought why not). anyways, 30 seconds after kick off my wonderful wife turns to me with rather a puzzled look on her face and asks...."why cant we hear the commentators...?" :look: :blink: i didnt even dignify the question with a response.... :lol: :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncan Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 (edited) a couple of years ago a big old crow used to fly into our garden ,the misses started feeding it by hand and for some reason unknown to me she called it charlie .one night in the local she is telling her friends about while i was at the bar when she shouts out "Dunc you`ve seen my charlie have`nt you " the place was in an uproar bless her Edited December 31, 2011 by duncan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kernel gadaffi Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 Not mine but my old boss, his wife was calling around for car insurance, one of the operators asked her what size the engine was in her Peugeot, she replied, "I'm not sure, I think it's 3 foot by 2 foot". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david hunter Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 my wife said to me not long after we got married.you cant go to work this morning. isaid why.she said the electrics gone off you wont start the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ordnance Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 Asking me where they make the pigs ears for the dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shooter85 Posted December 31, 2011 Report Share Posted December 31, 2011 Haha i enjoyed readin those..crackin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted January 1, 2012 Report Share Posted January 1, 2012 (edited) Mrs ME often gets her words muddled. Instead of calling my brother "A knight in shining armour" she called him "A sh|te in nining armour". :lol: Last week she came back from the vets announcing that the dog had torn his CRUISESHIP ligament. :lol: Edited January 1, 2012 by ME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lxtav Posted January 1, 2012 Report Share Posted January 1, 2012 At work all sitting having lunch when the news came on with video of police on horseback. One of my female collegues who was watching said in a serious voice "I wouldn't mind being mounted" took about 2 hours for everyone to stop laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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