storme37 Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 a badger cull would lead to civil war Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigeon pete Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 a badger cull would lead to civil war lol ace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RED BEARD Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 my mate came round and the mrs told him that we're go to corfu for a week,mate says "thats in cornwall isn't it?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard V Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 I pull outside my ex's house on my bike with a squeaky back drum brake to pick her up. ex's mother says to my ex "God Richard's brakes sound dangerous, he'd better put some oil on them." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digger Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 I told a labourer at work that when he rides his moped he should take the keys out of the ignition at traffic lights in case he gets it stolen. He was an hour and a half late for work this morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davyo Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 used to work in factory as a welder and there was a big clock on the wall, one day my mate walked over pointing at the clock and said "what time did that clock stop"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ack-ack Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 Last year I was visiting my mum in hospital after a stroke ( 85 ) , she said the fella in the next room was fit for his age and looked like that man off Ebay with the abs ? , couldn"t work out what she meant as she kept saying " you know the one off Ebay , Hazzle somat .? Then it clicked and I said do you mean Baywatch ? , thats its she said . Thats class!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ack-ack Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 once when i was working to this small firm there was an old guy that was helping me level up a concrete shutter with a laser level (first one he had seen) and he said "we will have to watch that the batteries dont run flat as the laser might droop down at the ends" :o :o :o I reckon he had you fella Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ack-ack Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 I was in a pub and the barmaid was cooing at my Patterdale, she said 'ahhhhh I love Patterdogs'. She had great norks so I didn't correct her and agreed wholeheartedly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peskyfoxs Posted September 18, 2012 Report Share Posted September 18, 2012 Girl at work: I need new tyres do I have to Buy the metal bit in the middle too ? (i.e wheels) Same Girl orangutans are from Europe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddy Galore! Posted September 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2012 i've remembered another one, i was only about 14 and my sister was telling me about how freddie mercury was a fudge packer, when my mum piped up and said "i could never be gay, i couldn't have one of them willies stuffed up my backside all day" TMI Mum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferguson_tom Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 I was in a pub and the barmaid was cooing at my Patterdale, she said 'ahhhhh I love Patterdogs'. She had great norks so I didn't correct her and agreed wholeheartedly If there ever was a valid reason to agree with a women this would be it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 On returning from a recent holiday, J.."Where did you go ?" ME.."Guernsey and very nice it was too.." J.."Guernsey ? thats south isnt it?" ME " Yep.." J... is my ...............Manager. I think were heading back to the pond of evolution of which Darwin spoke. i honestly don't see why that was a dumb question? geurnsey is south, as is the isle of wight and jersey, as opposed to shetland and vthe faroes which are north Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stokie Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Mates wife . When Derdrie Rashid from Coranation Street was sent to prison . The population took the mick and a local market stall had a sign above saying free Derdrie Rashid . His mrs asked the trader for her free dedries Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
39TDS Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 shetland is north? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaxiDriver Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 I'd let her have 'Patterdogs' So long as ...... She'd let me........Patternorks I was in a pub and the barmaid was cooing at my Patterdale, she said 'ahhhhh I love Patterdogs'. She had great norks so I didn't correct her and agreed wholeheartedly If there ever was a valid reason to agree with a women this would be it I'd let her have 'Patterdogs' So long as ...... She'd let me........Patternorks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gixer1 Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Driving down the dual carriage way with Mrs Gixer and baby in the back seat, Mrs gixer got up and kneeled on the seat to attend baby in the back as I was overtaking a car and she pipes up "you do know it's illegal to undertake don't you" in a smarmy manner.... When I was about 18 I was sitting with my mate driving round in his mum's car and we drove past his house to see if we could start the big party at her house we planned - I piped up "she must be out already as her car's not in the driveway" Watched a guy at work trying to work out how to turn a fraction into a decimal and I tried to help by saying "divide the first number by the second number" - he said - "don't be silly - I don't know the second number yet, thats what i'm trying to work out" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flynny Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 i honestly don't see why that was a dumb question? geurnsey is south, as is the isle of wight and jersey, as opposed to shetland and vthe faroes which are north Get a grip mate and get a life you gaylord, Jesus the guy is only contributing to the original post, are you one of those guys that when some one says "it's a nice day is,nt it " you say " It will be when the sun passes urananus at 3 seconds past noon in the phase of the full moon BLAH, BLAH " stop critising and enjoy the banter of the post you gaylord ATB Flynny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robl Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Gaylord? Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flynny Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Gaylord? Seriously. Quite serious old bean, ha ha lmao, ATB Flynny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 (edited) Get a grip mate and get a life you gaylord, Jesus the guy is only contributing to the original post, are you one of those guys that when some one says "it's a nice day is,nt it " you say " It will be when the sun passes urananus at 3 seconds past noon in the phase of the full moon BLAH, BLAH " stop critising and enjoy the banter of the post you gaylord ATB Flynny. Easy tiger :blink: Really was there any need for that attack? I made no critisism.. I merely fail to understand why someone asking/commenting that Guernsey is south should put them up for nomination for the Darwin Awards. If you read the post (perhaps that is a tad advanced for you?) you will see a questionmark after my comment.. perhaps I should have made it simpler for you..... Dear Jega... I don't understand why asking if Guernsey is south is a dumb question, could you please explain as I don't get it. There, that ok for you? PS... the litle squiqly line with the dot after 'you' is a question mark.... just so you know! Edited September 19, 2012 by Vipa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guest1957 Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Get a grip mate and get a life you gaylord, Jesus the guy is only contributing to the original post, are you one of those guys that when some one says "it's a nice day is,nt it " you say " It will be when the sun passes urananus at 3 seconds past noon in the phase of the full moon BLAH, BLAH " stop critising and enjoy the banter of the post you gaylord ATB Flynny. I think last time I heard someone use the word 'gaylord' was when I was 9 and the person using it was about 6... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 I think last time I heard someone use the word 'gaylord' was when I was 9 and the person using it was about 6... Ahhh... the penny drops :yes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flynny Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 Easy tiger :blink: Really was there any need for that attack? I made no critisism.. I merely fail to understand why someone asking/commenting that Guernsey is south should put them up for nomination for the Darwen Awards. If you read the post (perhaps that is a tad advanced for you?) you will see a questionmark after my comment.. perhaps I should have made it simpler for you..... Dear Jega... I don't understand why asking if Guernsey is south is a dumb question, could you please explain as I don't get it. There, that ok for you? PS... the litle squiqly line with the dot after 'you' is a question mark.... just so you know! JESUS, your still doing it now ha ha, Sorry King of the gaylords, I mean outstanding critic, tis a bit of banter old bean didn't mean to offend, (I did really ha ha) Atb Flynny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigeonblasterian Posted September 19, 2012 Report Share Posted September 19, 2012 I think last time I heard someone use the word 'gaylord' was when I was 9 and the person using it was about 6... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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