Chr15j Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 My father-in-law is in his 60's and his driving is awful. His concentration is terrible, he usually forgets to change up to 5th, his driving is shockingly erratic, he suffers awful road rage, has collected a couple of mirrors and recently reversed into someone in Tescos carpark. Personally I think he should stop driving, as does my wife, but he will not take any criticism about anything so not worth agro... Should I make an anon report to dvla? reason for asking is that sooner or later he will have a proper crash and hurt/kill someone or himself and having recognised the issue I don't want blood on my hands. Any thoughts ladies and gentlemen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northamptonclay Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 See if you can talk him into taking some advance driving lessons . IAM or ROSPA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Yeah he sounds just like the bloke that would respond well to that suggestion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 I had the same with my dad when he was alive. He had got stuck in such a rut, he didn't even realise he was driving so badly. Once I pointed it out to him, his driving improved. (He was never a GOOD driver in the first place.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chr15j Posted October 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Thing is only being son-in-law I will get whole who do you think you are and none of your business response on top of grief from his son and other daughter who think he can do no wrong, that's why too much hassle to confront. Just not sure if I should drop him in it or let him have another, more serious prang. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kes Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 This also happened to my father in law - he was a sensible driver and then just lost the fine edge of control- couple of small prangs which led to him recognising his failing judgement. We all mentioned he seemed a little unhappy driving and started taking him out - in the end he preferred to go with others rather than drive and gave up. It has to be a personal decision but you have to point out he is becoming a risk and whilst its a loss for him if he stops, it'll be cheaper and he'll never forgive himself if a child gets injured. In the end though, for it to stick, he has to make the decision himself - if he has another crunch, ask the police to talk to him if he's not close enough to making the decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al4x Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 In his 60's the dvla will do nothing they can't on other people's opinion, so really it's down to people talking to him which sounds like it will go nowhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Father-in-law drove until his early nineties, getting more and more erratic. His spatial misjudgements resulted in his garage being rebuilt twice, but his worst incident was where he totally ignored a new mini-roundabout and hit someone who had right of way. (Well it wasn't there the last time he had driven that road) No amount of suggestion or advice from me or my wife had any effect, but a quiet word from the police after his final incident resulted in his hanging up his string-backs, to every-one's relief. Then he refused to leave the house until the day he died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaxiDriver Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Thing is only being son-in-law I will get whole who do you think you are and none of your business response on top of grief from his son and other daughter who think he can do no wrong, that's why too much hassle to confront. Just not sure if I should drop him in it or let him have another, more serious prang. My late father in law was an atrocious driver and I'd always refused to get in the car with him, (he drove a 3 wheeler on a motorbike licence and wrote off several over the years). All his fault and usually as a result of pulling out on someone at a junction. I never let him take our son in the car especially. Don't be getting in the car with him Don't be leasing him anything lol Write to DVLA as a concerned family member, Speak to local traffic police as a concerned family member, speak to the old boys GP and raise your concerns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbiep Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Write to DVLA as a concerned family member, Speak to local traffic police as a concerned family member, speak to the old boys GP and raise your concerns. If you do speak to the police, ask for an incident report number. That way, they are far more likely to treat it properly, as if he did have a serious accident in a few months, etc, and they hadn't investigated your concerns properly, they would be in the brown sticky stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brisa Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) A friend is in the same position with his grand father, had the doctor come out and do the tests and gave him the green light to keep driving at 93. Apparently organisations such as help the aged can cause a stink like the BASC would if someone tried getting your guns off you by making out you were unfit etc. They don't want everyone taking the elderlys freedoms and ushering them off into homes to collect the money from house sales etc which as Im sure you can imagine happens a fair bit. Edited October 21, 2012 by Brisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wymberley Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Are you sure that it's his driving that is the root problem. The need to concentrate and the possible self recognition that something unknown is not as it should be can cause some of the points that you raise: The bad temper for example, being a symptom and not a defect. Much of what you say I recognise from my late father. We were lucky in as much that when he did understand that all had not well after it was sorted, when later we said right now really is the time he realised that as previously we were right and he retired gracefully. Sorted? Tunnel vision; two nasty cataracts removed and with a new lease of life drove for a good few more years and the pigeon shooting hits to shots fired ratio went off the scale. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livefast123 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Don't bother reporting it to the police, it will just add another layer of paperwork. The form the police have to fill in for the DVLA requires an incident to have taken place and all the police can do is ask the offending party to surrender their driving licence, if they don't then the police have no further powers and just submit the paperwork to the DVLA. Far better off to contact DVLA directly and tell them that you think a medical condition is affecting his driving, they will hopefully then arrange a medical assessment and a professional can decide whether he can carry on driving or not. At least then if he kills somebody you have done your bit and somebody else has made that decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dougall Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 in his 60s .......need to talk to him outside of the car.going to dvla is not what I would do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.