gixer1 Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) Being a parent and having kids as any parent knows has its hardships and decisions and me and my wife are having a debate just now (rather heated I would say!) on schools and where we would like our kids to go to secondary school. We are in the fortunate position that, should we choose - our children could go to private school - neither of us really have this in mind to be honest for the simple reason - in the state school league tables - in the top 50 for all the schools in Scotland we are fortunate enough to have 4 of these schools within 10-20miles of us. These rank 3rd, (17 miles away) 10th (18 miles away) 21st (11 miles away) and 49th (16 miles away) The debate comes from which of these we should put our children too - the school that is in our catchment is the 49th ranked school and to be honest it is 16 miles in the opposite direction from both me and my wife's commute, a bus does run the kids to and from but we do not know anyone in this town. The 3rd and 10th are not in our catchment area so moving house would really be the only option which I personally wouldn't want to do. The 21st ranked is 11 miles away and also happens to be the school I went to which is also in the town I grew up in so I have at least 10 contacts in this town 2 of which are my best friends and 1 of which is my mum who still has a house there. Both me and my wife's commute takes us within 3/4 of a mile of this town daily. My wife is leaning towards "school 49" as this picks the kids up and she feels it is important that our kids attend the same school that the kids they went through primary school with. My argument is we have no real "safety net" in this town and that really the people you go to primary school with are 90% of the time quickly forgotten. (I don't hang around with a single person I attended primary school with, whereas mrs gixer is still friends with two girls she went right through school with. I feel that because of the people I can call on, the fact the school is higher ranked, the fact we drive past it every day and the fact i attended the school and know what its like makes perfect sense but mrs gixer does not...and this is the reason I sit here now huffing on the otherwise of the room typing this and we are giving each other huffy looks! I feel one of the things that is bugging her is the fact I went to this school and its where I grew up and where my friends live. So firstly what are your opinions on - 1) Private vs state schools 2) Do the people you attend primary with make any difference to your life if you are moved from them 3) Can you tell the "heathen split ar__" I am right....only kidding...but am I being unreasonable? In all seriousness this is a big concern of mine as although I went to school I did not get as good an education as I could have but this was due in my opinion to the split of my parents during my secondary school years and the fact I hated everything! but I will say a few of the teachers at that school made a big difference to me and made me tow the line in the last year or two which probably shaped me today. So, opinions? Regards, Gixer Edited January 7, 2013 by gixer1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unapalomablanca Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 If neither of you have paying for a private school in mind, then why is it your opening line? Sorry just dont get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gixer1 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) If neither of you have paying for a private school in mind, then why is it your opening line? Sorry just dont get it. Because its a consideration and of the private schools - only 2 rank higher than the state schools! Not really an incentive is it? The title was maybe a little misleading although it is as I say a consideration. Regards, Gixer Edited January 7, 2013 by gixer1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HDAV Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) 1) Depend son the kids and the parents................(Works for most kids (private) but not all............) 2) I didnt 1 other person went from my junior to senior school didnt do me any harm (but then not really any of my my junior firends lived near me) 3) While the bus is character building, getting into after school activities would be an issue? I think the school on your way is the more sensible answer, is keeping friends that important? Perhaps those who have had to make new ones ratehr than just keeping the same ones for 15 years to 18 do better when they do elave the area (tho doesnt sound like you fell far from the nest.......) Edited January 7, 2013 by HDAV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unapalomablanca Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Because its a consideration and of the private schools - only 2 rank higher than the state schools! Not really an incentive is it? The title was maybe a little misleading although it is as I say a consideration. Regards, Gixer I think if the schools are half decent and the families seem nice then stick with the state school. At the end of the day, most clever and motivated people end up doing o.k. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laird Lugton Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Given their rankings I would run with the state schools. I don't keep in touch with anyone from my primary and only 1 from secondary. Uni is where you make your friends.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gixer1 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 1) Depend son the kids and the parents................(Works for most kids (private) but not all............) 2) I didnt 1 other person went from my junior to senior school didnt do me any harm (but then not really any of my my junior firends lived near me) 3) While the bus is character building, getting into after school activities would be an issue? I think the school on your way is the more sensible answer, is keeping friends that important? Perhaps those who have had to make new ones ratehr than just keeping the same ones for 15 years to 18 do better when they do elave the area (tho doesnt sound like you fell far from the nest.......) Very true - in all honesty it wasn't so much the nest but more my friends in later life due to leaving home at 15/16 and relying on a few of them.... The nest wasn't really in one place as brother has always lived far away (he is now in china) and my old man lives down south on the borders...I guess for the most part I have always been local though. Regards, Gixer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil3728 Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Ignore the private school, not worth the money as the ones public ones around you are more then good enough. My sister went to a private school only becasue the state school within the catchment area was very poor and she was been bullied. As for school friends each person is different but I am only in contact with one perosn i went to primary school with. As for which school to choose, moving house is a big undertaking, but really any will do the job, teaching at that age is more about the childs willingness to learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) I went to both Private and State Schools and met some fine people in both systems. Success comes in many forms and money isn't the be all and end all, BUT I know more millionaires amongst my state school acquaintances than the private school ones. I don't think that Primary School mates are important. I went to two senior schools and many of the people at those schools I am in regular contact with today. (I am 39 BTW) ME Jnr took the 11 plus last year, he passed it but didn't get a high enough grade to get into the local Grammar schools. He is now at the local state school and has been streamed and is in most of the top sets. He is a sensible lad but knows how to have fun. I was actually quite glad that he went to the local school. I drop him off every morning, which I really enjoy (sad I know) and he has loads of mates locally. As long as Gixer jnr has sensible, supportive parents he will do well wherever he goes. (is the missus still in contact with the father? ) Edited January 7, 2013 by ME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikky Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 i was sent to a private/boarding school in the uk cos my parents lived in africa,and there was no secondary schools 600 miles in the middle of nowhere......i hated it and to make it worse i found out later that my auntie was willing to look after me and i could have gone to st gabriels with the rest of my cousins....all of which are doing ok,,doctors,solicitors to mention a few......it might come in handy on their cv later in life if they have been to a private school...ask the kids what they want mikky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex C Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I went to a private school. I thouroughly enjoyed every minute and i was a boarder for 3 years of it. You may be right that state schools will equal and even beat the privates in the academic side of things. However what they cannot do is equal them for facilities. Were are talking the best computers, the best sports gear, the best school trips etc etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 If there are good state schools locally, go for them. My daughter is at the village primary and loves it. The secondary school is pants so we are both agreed that come the time we will go private. We were both educated privately. She is an FD, i left school at 16 with 1 "o" level but have held my own. A good education is never wasted. I would always go private myself, it's not just the education, it's the confidence and connections it brings. My best mate and I started prep school together age 8. Still best mates now. Both my parents wew out of pit villages so no silver spoon.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty Harry Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm lucky that we live in catchment for the highest rated school in the county and both my boys are there. I'm amazed that some of the parents are taking their kids out to go private. I think it's more common if the parents went private but unless my kids had special educational needs I wouldn't bother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westmids1987 Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Hi i went to both private and state,i would say the teaching standard was the same,however the class size at private was 12 rather then 30 so less messing about in class,no big disterbances in class as everyone there knew their parents where having to pay for them to be there. Moving to state school i got into the wrong crowd and had the opportunity to mess about in class as teacher was too busy and as such grades did drop,but as your soo close to good state schools i'd ignore all i have said lol, Atb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Mat Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Private schools are not for everyone, i went to one for two and a half years. I can honestly say the standard of teaching was much better than state schools i went to and schools will emphasize things like sport etc. I found at a private school that if your face doesnt fit you wont last there. You wont get away with saying things how they are, well i didnt anyway. As for standing up to school bullies, that doesnt do you any favours either ( slightley off topic i know ). I found that state schools offer a wider range of people and experiences, you learn more of the real world. Thats just my experiences, i finished 6th form last july so my experiences are fairly recent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kes Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Some personal thoughts for whatever help they might offer. I went to state schools, Grammar then comp, then uni and became a chartered engineer - that was some time ago and left uni when jobs were plentiful. I dont retain links with any former school friends as my parents moved often (work) - didnt do me any harm. Sent eldest to private school - worth the investment for her and she has benefitted - jobs are still hard to come by but her CV is the best it can be in the circumstances. Youngest was not good in a terribly competitive academic environment and he went to local, highly rated school - it failed him but he has continued into further education and is now succeeding. Thoughts therefore in order of importance ; What do the children prefer - it makes a huge difference that they are happy - from experience. Some private schools are very, very good - they are worth the money but its steep now £4k per term. If the child is intelligent and benefits from intensely competitive environment with lots of exams and tests - go private. If you think your child would be happy in it - I would go for the highest rated state school which fits your commute and where you have relatives close to hand if you are late or a problem arises - they do and a sensible person you can trust is v helpful. I dont think I would go for the easiest option under any circumstances - unless it was the best for the child, their education and their care. After school activities are only possible for a long term if travel is simple (short or convenient or both). Whatever you choose dont let that be the last involvement - keep tabs on their progress and complain/intervene if things start to go amiss. Make sure you both eventually agree so discuss it - if it goes even slightly wrong, one of you will never hear the last of it so agree first. All the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laird Lugton Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I think bright children will succeed anywhere, it's those in the middle who could benefit from better teaching that will probably be helped the most by private education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I would also add that in the private sector, the school has to be right for the child. It is seen as socially " the right thing to do" to send your child to a certain private school locally. When the time comes i will send my daughter to the one that suits her best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gixer1 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Some personal thoughts for whatever help they might offer. I went to state schools, Grammar then comp, then uni and became a chartered engineer - that was some time ago and left uni when jobs were plentiful. I dont retain links with any former school friends as my parents moved often (work) - didnt do me any harm. Sent eldest to private school - worth the investment for her and she has benefitted - jobs are still hard to come by but her CV is the best it can be in the circumstances. Youngest was not good in a terribly competitive academic environment and he went to local, highly rated school - it failed him but he has continued into further education and is now succeeding. Thoughts therefore in order of importance ; What do the children prefer - it makes a huge difference that they are happy - from experience. Some private schools are very, very good - they are worth the money but its steep now £4k per term. If the child is intelligent and benefits from intensely competitive environment with lots of exams and tests - go private. If you think your child would be happy in it - I would go for the highest rated state school which fits your commute and where you have relatives close to hand if you are late or a problem arises - they do and a sensible person you can trust is v helpful. I dont think I would go for the easiest option under any circumstances - unless it was the best for the child, their education and their care. After school activities are only possible for a long term if travel is simple (short or convenient or both). Whatever you choose dont let that be the last involvement - keep tabs on their progress and complain/intervene if things start to go amiss. Make sure you both eventually agree so discuss it - if it goes even slightly wrong, one of you will never hear the last of it so agree first. All the best I appreciate all the comments and opinions but especially the above Kes - very balanced and thought out, thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huffhuff Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) You can't polish a terd... ...and I work in an independent school (we don't call them private these days) Edited January 7, 2013 by huffhuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artschool Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 You can't polish a terd... ...and I work in an independent school (we don't call them private don't you know) terd is normally spelt with a u. see me after class huff huff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Public, independent, grant maintained, all fall under the private sector. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huffhuff Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 terd is normally spelt with a u. see me after class huff huff. Yep, but if you spell **** with a U, that happens! (Hardly a swear word is it) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kes Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I appreciate all the comments and opinions, thank you Cheers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artschool Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Yep, but if you spell **** with a U, that happens! (Hardly a swear word is it) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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