bigbird Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) Just for fun - Gundog Sales Terminology Loves other dogs.Humps every dog in sight Hunts wellHunts so well the dog usually ends up in the next County. Stops well on whistle.Once. And the dog was going to stop anyway because it had decided to eat horse poo Part trainedCan 'shake paw' and 'roll over' on command. Well, what more do you want??! Suit Novice handlerDog is knackered and can't be ruined any further Needs quiet handlerDog is ruined Seen Game.Saw game, chased game, pegged game, chomped on game. Great nose on him/herDog winded game before seeing it/chasing it/pegging it/chomping it Has been shot over.Dog ran in and 'hunted well'. Turned up on doorstep a week later. Retrieves cold gameFound a dead fish on the beach the other day, rolled in it then brought it to hand. Quiet in Kennels If you have a hosepipe handy Amazing Pedigree Has two FTCHs in the first Five generations KC RegProbably, but you can bet they can't find the paperwork VaccinatedThree years ago MicrochippedBut the Vet can't find it.... Retrieves wellRetrieves item but lies down five yards away eyeing you menacingly with it Will trial in right handsFriend of a friend of a friend saw dog and thought it was pretty/handsome Goes out 100 yards on blindsStraight lined it on a scent and found a tennis ball from days ago. Once. Health Tested/CheckedVet said it was a nice dog Doesn't quite read the same now I've removed the swear words! Edited July 17, 2015 by bigbird Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenboy Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Mostly sound like you are describing my dog Sits to the whistle , when he wants Recalls fine , if he feels like it Steady , on occasion Retrieves to hand , unless he wants it himself ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbird Posted July 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 All characters appearing in this are purely fictional and any resemblance to any dog, living or dead is purely coincidental Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead-Eyed Duck Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Three field hare dog :- It takes three fields for the dog chasing a hare before it gives up. Until the next hare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mighty Prawn Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Confident dog: does whatever he wants and stares you down with the stink eye if you suggest otherwise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddy Galore! Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Confident dog: does whatever he wants and stares you down with the stink eye if you suggest otherwise lol! sounds just like my cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris1961 Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Just about covers 99% of dogs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WelshAndy Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 I can honestly say only one of those applies to Pebble Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbird Posted July 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Haha lol I think I know which but we don't care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbiep Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 (edited) I especially liked these ... Hunts well Hunts so well the dog usually ends up in the next County. Stops well on whistle.Once. And the dog was going to stop anyway because it had decided to eat horse poo Goes out 100 yards on blindsStraight lined it on a scent and found a tennis ball from days ago. Once. The tennis ball one reminds me of our border collie. And horse poo ? No, usually to roll in fox - or badger - poo Edited July 21, 2015 by robbiep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malkiserow Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 Great stuff BB Very reliable Rolls in all the poo it can find Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spanj Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 (edited) Just for fun - Gundog Sales Terminology Loves other dogs. Humps every dog in sight Hunts well Hunts so well the dog usually ends up in the next County. Stops well on whistle. Once. And the dog was going to stop anyway because it had decided to eat horse poo Part trained Can 'shake paw' and 'roll over' on command. Well, what more do you want??! Suit Novice handler Dog is knackered and can't be ruined any further Needs quiet handler Dog is ruined Seen Game. Saw game, chased game, pegged game, chomped on game. Great nose on him/her Dog winded game before seeing it/chasing it/pegging it/chomping it Has been shot over. Dog ran in and 'hunted well'. Turned up on doorstep a week later. Retrieves cold game Found a dead fish on the beach the other day, rolled in it then brought it to hand. Quiet in Kennels If you have a hosepipe handy Amazing Pedigree Has two FTCHs in the first Five generations KC Reg Probably, but you can bet they can't find the paperwork Vaccinated Three years ago Microchipped But the Vet can't find it.... Retrieves well Retrieves item but lies down five yards away eyeing you menacingly with it Will trial in right hands Friend of a friend of a friend saw dog and thought it was pretty/handsome Goes out 100 yards on blinds Straight lined it on a scent and found a tennis ball from days ago. Once. Health Tested/Checked Vet said it was a nice dog Doesn't quite read the same now I've removed the swear words! you only had them 2 weeks but describe them perfectly Edited July 30, 2015 by spanj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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