mel b3 Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 ladies and gentlemen of pigeonwatch. it is with the deepest regret , that i have sell my finest ever bin find(it has to come off my shed wall to make space for more shelving) , although my heartbreak will be tempered by the knowledge , that my sad loss , will bring years of happiness to another pigeonwatch member , and their family. for sale is this beautiful work in oil , of a canal boat(with the name of caroline) , helmsman , and jack russel (ive named him nipper) . it was painted by that renowned artist B . Bayley , in 82 (im guessing 1982) , and it has been professionally cleaned by myself , using washing up liquid and a nail brush , and now that the smell has gone , it would grace the finest of homes (or shed) . can you just imagine the look of sheer elation on your wifes face if she unwrapped this fine piece on christmas morning , especially if she was named caroline , and was born in 1982. ive already turned down very generous offers from the tate modern , and the louvre , as i thought that the correct thing to do with such fine work , would be to offer it to a pigeonwatch member that likes cut boats , and would like to have a genuine black country cut boat , hanging in the shed. unfortunately , this piece cant be posted , as it is clearly too valuable to be trusted in the hands of her majesties postal service , and it weighs more than my wife , so would cost a fortune , so it would need to be collected in person. for this genuinely beautiful piece of black country history , i would like the paltry sum of £5,000 (read this bit carefully) OR NEAREST OFFER. obviously , any cash would go straight to a childrens charity , alternatively , id happily swap it , and if the swap had any monetary value , i would give that amount to a childrens charity. thank you for looking, and can we please refrain from any unseemly squabbles as you fight over this beautiful creation. ps , rumours that this is one of the works of art that were stolen in the hatton gardens robbery , are not true , probably . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 Did you study at the Wabbitbosher School of Sales Technique? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted November 30, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 1 hour ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: Did you study at the Wabbitbosher School of Sales Technique? Now David, do you really think that a piece of this quality needs any kind of sales technique ? . Quality sells itself 😆. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 42 minutes ago, mel b3 said: Now David, do you really think that a piece of this quality needs any kind of sales technique ? . Quality sells itself 😆. It certainly does, apparently, your piece however does not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted November 30, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 44 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: It certainly does, apparently, your piece however does not! You can't rush these things 😆 . If constable was still alive he'd be trembling in awe of this true masterpiece 😆. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 Beauty is apparently in the eye of the beholder and your artist got his guide dog to paint that for him! Of course the artist is better known for his musical stand up act! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted November 30, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 26 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: Beauty is apparently in the eye of the beholder and your artist got his guide dog to paint that for him! Of course the artist is better known for his musical stand up act! Have you been possesed by the ghost of Brian sewell , or are you just overcome with envy because you don't own such a thing of incredible beauty 😆. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panoma1 Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 I have an original oil on canvas of a pastoral scene, by well known TV angler, artist, writer and fisherman, Bernard Venables (he of Mr Crabtree goes fishing fame!) ......close up it looks like he painted it with his eyes closed! Lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted November 30, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 I've often heard it said the the finest art is born with a belly filled with red wine , and eyes closed. I think that I probably ( definitely )just made that up 😊. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blankmag Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 shame on you all !!!! quality piece of painting from the folk art movement no doubt . uneducated louts the lot of !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panoma1 Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 52 minutes ago, mel b3 said: I've often heard it said the the finest art is born with a belly filled with red wine , and eyes closed. I think that I probably ( definitely )just made that up 😊. Did Ditchie tell you that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted November 30, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 17 minutes ago, blankmag said: shame on you all !!!! quality piece of painting from the folk art movement no doubt . uneducated louts the lot of !! Thank you sir , at last someone that has the breeding to appreciate this masterpiece 👍. 12 minutes ago, panoma1 said: Did Ditchie tell you that? No but I bet that he was thinking it 😆. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted December 1, 2019 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2019 Serious post this morning gents. It looks much much better in the flesh , and I'm sure it would look great hanging on the shed wall of a barge enthusiast . I'd have left it hanging on my shed wall if I didn't need to fit more shelving . Obviously it's free to anyone that can collect it as it wouldn't be worth the cost of posting . I'll keep it around for a few days before it goes into the log burner. 👍. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoBodyImportant Posted December 1, 2019 Report Share Posted December 1, 2019 I have always been fascinated by the English narrow boats. If I lived there I’d spend a year or two canal traveling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted December 2, 2019 Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 On 30/11/2019 at 20:47, mel b3 said: I've often heard it said the the finest art is born with a belly filled with red wine , and eyes closed. I think that I probably ( definitely )just made that up 😊. You are almost correct, what it actually states is that "art should be viewed with a belly full of good red wine." That would help make the image a little better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strimmer_13 Posted December 2, 2019 Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 10 hours ago, NoBodyImportant said: I have always been fascinated by the English narrow boats. If I lived there I’d spend a year or two canal traveling. I think the only fascinating thing is how much **** and rubbish joe public throws into canal paths and waterways. The above masterpiece must be pre 90's, i cant see a peugeot scooter dumped anywhere 😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted December 2, 2019 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 4 hours ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: You are almost correct, what it actually states is that "art should be viewed with a belly full of good red wine." That would help make the image a little better! Better ? , BETTER ?, perfection cannot be improved upon !.😅 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyjack Posted December 2, 2019 Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 On 30/11/2019 at 14:25, mel b3 said: ladies and gentlemen of pigeonwatch. it is with the deepest regret , that i have sell my finest ever bin find(it has to come off my shed wall to make space for more shelving) , although my heartbreak will be tempered by the knowledge , that my sad loss , will bring years of happiness to another pigeonwatch member , and their family. for sale is this beautiful work in oil , of a canal boat(with the name of caroline) , helmsman , and jack russel (ive named him nipper) . it was painted by that renowned artist B . Bayley , in 82 (im guessing 1982) , and it has been professionally cleaned by myself , using washing up liquid and a nail brush , and now that the smell has gone , it would grace the finest of homes (or shed) . can you just imagine the look of sheer elation on your wifes face if she unwrapped this fine piece on christmas morning , especially if she was named caroline , and was born in 1982. ive already turned down very generous offers from the tate modern , and the louvre , as i thought that the correct thing to do with such fine work , would be to offer it to a pigeonwatch member that likes cut boats , and would like to have a genuine black country cut boat , hanging in the shed. unfortunately , this piece cant be posted , as it is clearly too valuable to be trusted in the hands of her majesties postal service , and it weighs more than my wife , so would cost a fortune , so it would need to be collected in person. for this genuinely beautiful piece of black country history , i would like the paltry sum of £5,000 (read this bit carefully) OR NEAREST OFFER. obviously , any cash would go straight to a childrens charity , alternatively , id happily swap it , and if the swap had any monetary value , i would give that amount to a childrens charity. thank you for looking, and can we please refrain from any unseemly squabbles as you fight over this beautiful creation. ps , rumours that this is one of the works of art that were stolen in the hatton gardens robbery , are not true , probably . This would go nice on my pub wall in my back garden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted December 2, 2019 Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 Then make him an offer quickly, you could have it in place by Christmas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted December 2, 2019 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 50 minutes ago, ladyjack said: This would go nice on my pub wall in my back garden That's just the kind of wall space that it's been looking for 👍. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyjack Posted December 2, 2019 Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 19 minutes ago, mel b3 said: That's just the kind of wall space that it's been looking for 👍. Does that mean I can have it ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted December 2, 2019 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 You're very welcome to it mate , it would be a long drive to collect it though , I'm guessing that it would be pretty expensive to post . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted December 2, 2019 Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 A GENTLE reminder of the CHARITABLE status of Mel's "fine" artwork! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panoma1 Posted December 2, 2019 Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 39 minutes ago, mel b3 said: You're very welcome to it mate , it would be a long drive to collect it though , I'm guessing that it would be pretty expensive to post . Bet you could carefully fold it down to large letter size if you really tried! Or you could cut into 6” x 4” size, the purchaser could then have hours of fun sticking it back together.......think of it as a big jigsaw! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoBodyImportant Posted December 3, 2019 Report Share Posted December 3, 2019 (edited) 18 hours ago, strimmer_13 said: I think the only fascinating thing is how much **** and rubbish joe public throws into canal paths and waterways. The above masterpiece must be pre 90's, i cant see a peugeot scooter dumped anywhere 😂 😂I have noticed on the tv shows and YouTube videos that there is a lot of garbage for a waterway. Edited December 3, 2019 by NoBodyImportant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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