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ear joke probably wont cheer you up its not that funny!!!

 

An old man goes to the doctor's, he walks into the busy waiting room, goes up to the desk, and says to the lady receptionist, "Can I please see the doctor?"

 

"Certainly, sir," she says. "What is it about?"

 

"I've got a problem with my ****."

 

A few stifled chuckles spread round the room, the receptionist is obviously slightly embarrassed and flustered. "Sir, I would advise that you do not speak like that in such a public place."

 

The old man is indignant. "If you don't want an embarrassing answer, you shouldn't ask embarrassing questions," he says.

 

"But sir, surely it would make sense just to make up a problem, and then tell the doctor the real problem when you see him. Say it's a problem with your ear or something. It would cause much less embarrassment."

 

"Ok, I take your point," the man says.

 

The receptionist continues, "Shall we start again?"

 

"Can I please see the doctor?" The man requests.

 

"Certainly, sir," she says. "What is it about?"

 

"I have a problem with my ear."

 

"Uh-huh, and what is the problem?"

 

"I can't **** out of it!"

 

BUM BUM

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That's nothing. I was doing some DIY on Monday and, whilst knocking some wood off a pallet, managed to smack myself full on the shin with a 16oz claw hammer.

 

I said a couple of bad words at the time and my whole lower leg is a bit swollen and bruised. It also hurts.

 

So you are both being girls... That there is a Man's injury!

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martin, 2:13 sounds like you've been in the pub and talking rubbish, leave the dog alone and drink some water.

M.

 

:lol: wish i had. been stuck in work since 9am and its getting a bit much. :hmm:

i dont mind the not being able to hear bit, its just the ****** pain :good::lol:

got nthis sill y spray stuff, and antibiotics and painkillers, but its STILL HURTING!!! :P

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Easily and arguably the two worst type of pain ever!!!

 

Hope they get sorted soon :good:

 

 

Ever had a kidney stone? :lol:

Yep, three times, do you want to tell this scouse wimp what pain is, or shall I?

 

My eyes are watering and I have just fallen to my knees, remembring the pain! I too have had three stones. Three trips to Alexandra for Lithotripsy and the new fandangled one I can't remember the name of. Plus Two op's in Princess Royal one to try and remove a stone by inserting a plastic tube, the other in emergency as the plastic tube was the wrong size and caused massive internal bleeding. The hour on end writhing in pain waiting to be diagnosed and when the pethadine wears off an hour too soon!

 

But despite that, by far the worse pain was actually passing one, it literally did bring me to my knees.!

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Martin, I too have been the victim of an ear infection, and yes it is bloody awful. Ignore the hard-hearted so-called tough guys above, and whimper to your heart's content.

 

However, you may be cheered up by my little story, which serves to remind us that it could always be worse. I came down with an ear infection many years ago in Portugal. This was back when the hospitals resembled the ones in Gaza that you sometimes see on the news after an Israeli strike against Hamas.

 

At the filthy and decrepit hospital I was seen by an equally filthy and decrepit doctor, who was intoxicated to the most astonishing degree, given that it was not yet noon. The consultation that followed was rich in comedy value but I confess it afforded me little comfort.

 

We obtained the recommended medication, and I was instantly struck by the shape and huge size of the "tablets" - they most resembled small (but not that small) torpedoes. It was only when I returned to our villa that I discovered that the Portuguese treat ear infections with rectal suppositories :good: .

 

I have never been able to understand the logic of curing an ear problem by pushing things up your ****.

 

Robert

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Don't forget the sheep and pigs. They're women as well. But only at weekends.

 

Pain? Let me tell you about the time I broke both bones in my forearm, then had to walk a mile through woodland back to the coach, then wait at the RAF base for a van to take me to the hospital, _then_ wait until they saw me, _THEN_ wait until they gave me pain killers. It hurt a bit and I still remember seeing my arm look like a "u".

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Ear infections don't half hurt.

 

I've had grommets twice but they mucked up the second time and left a gaping hole in my ear drum so I had to go back for a skin graft which involved cutting the whole of the back of my ear open, pulling the ear over the gap so they could reach the inner ear.

 

Niiice.

 

FM :good:

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