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About Benthejockey

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  1. Benthejockey

    BSE outbreak

    Specifically it was in a cow 🐮
  2. Benthejockey

    Bird ownership

    You could catch them all up in the next week and then when they’ve had a blank day offer to sell them your pen full of birds.
  3. Benthejockey

    The Wild Life

    I’m reading it. Pigeon Watch are probably paying for his xmas drinks in royalties with all these copies of the book he’s sold recently 😂 I really like it, some of the stuff he says is very funny.
  4. Benthejockey

    big british bakeoff

    Last year it was won by the attractive woman with the bright lipstick and who’s leading the charge this year? The attractive one with bright lipstick. The final will be the homely woman with 1 hand, the slightly odd Indian bloke and the lipstick woman. And she wins because Paul Hollywood fancies her.
  5. Benthejockey

    Loads of Wasps

    Killed two big fat dopey queen wasps this afternoon when I was splitting logs.
  6. Benthejockey

    Absolutely Unbelievable

    I’ve got 3 goats fattening at the minute. I’ll gladly take her charitable donation. They were cheap because they’re 1/2 bred dairy goats so won’t ever fatten like a proper meat breed but they’ll do us for the freezer. They’re very funny to have around if not a bit of a pain in the ****. I need the £6700 to buy more electric fence and batteries for the fence, as soon as it’s flat they’re out. They make the funniest noise when they get a whack off the fence they’re expecting to be off 😂
  7. Benthejockey

    Myxi in hares

    I was being a bit facetious really with the ferrets comment but you get my point.
  8. Benthejockey

    Myxi in hares

    Really nasty disease that should never have been introduced! I know rabbits were and in places still are a massive pest but to introduce a virus that is uncontrollable was just wholly irresponsible. They would have been better off introducing a plague of ferrets to kill the rabbits off at least they would have been able to put some controls in place to limit the destruction caused and the deaths would have been fast and natural.
  9. Benthejockey

    unexplained wealth order

    You’d imagine if you were able/capable/clever enough to misappropriate millions of pounds you’d be clever enough to hide and invest it in ways that would mean that even if it was suspected that you were a baddie no one could ever really prove it and even if they had evidence you’d acquired it by illegitimate means they’d never be able to find where it had gone or recover it. That’s what I’d do.
  10. Benthejockey

    Forgot to grease my end

    All sorted now. Moral of the story ALWAYS lubricate your end before you stick it in any new holes!
  11. Benthejockey

    Forgot to grease my end

    No it’s just a big lump of metal, borderline indestructible that needs the odd blast with WD40 and leaving to dry on a radiator. It’s a heavy old lump but does work quite well. That could be a possibility but I haven’t got any circlip pliers to hand. I ventured out and got some loctite. Hopefully it’s going to do the job 🙈
  12. Benthejockey

    Forgot to grease my end

    No can do with that one it’s an over barrel type of mod. It’s an ASE North Star. Id only nipped it up hand tight so I just need it to hold tighter onto the barrel than it is holding in the mod.
  13. Benthejockey

    Forgot to grease my end

    Took the leap to get a thread adaptor so I can use my mod on another rifle with a different thread rather than buy a new mod. Got my lovely shiny solid lump of machined steel in the post this morning. Popped it on the rifle. All good. Then without thinking numb nuts here screwed on the mod. All perfect straight and true. Smashing. Then I unscrewed it...and typically it unscrewed off the rifle and not out of the mod. Balls. The plan was to loctite it onto the rifle as a semi permanent attachment. So barring any ingenious ideas from you lot I’m going to nip out and get some loctite (blue I think is the one I want) and pray that after gluing the adaptor to the rifle will be a strong enough hold to undo it out of the moderator otherwise I think I might have to cry 🙈 so gentlemen any good ideas? Yes I know I’m a berk!
  14. Benthejockey

    Modern life.

    Literally and basically. Step daughter is guilty of both of these prolifically. I’m a reasonably intelligent person I can cope with the complicated version of your story you’re 11 and not explain brain surgery! Most of the modern tripe that is called music. Apparently if you get covered in tattoos and sing into a computer you’re a musician and worth playing on the radio. The culture for tattoos...bear with me I’m not anti tattoo at all, and there are some very good tattoos out there. We’ve got a lad at work who is covered in them from his neck down, they look like a toddler has been drawing on the wallpaper! And he thinks he’s some sort of instagram tattoo model. He’s not. He can barely do the job he’s paid to do! Cyclists! I like the odd run out on the bike but really is there any need to be cycling down A roads at rush hour? Or like the dope last night drive straight down the lane past several passing places straight at me with his strobe light on his helmet flashing like a light house and then glare at me because I’ve got nowhere to go other than into the hedge. There’s plenty more!
  15. I’d forgotten about a few weeks ago when I stalked probably a mile round the noisiest stubble field in the world to use the wind because I was adamant I’d seen my first south shropshire muntjac on some new ground I had to shoot over. Popped my head through the gap in the hedge to see if it was there...big old jack hare gets up and gives me a wave as he disappeared into the distance! Combination of him being massive, the wind blowing the wrong way and forgetting my binoculars.