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About Benthejockey

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  1. Well really it's the best thing for them! Aside from ******* off the majority of people trying to go about their daily work and trying up police time and resources it wont achieve anything. Normal, law abiding people don't super glue themselves to trains.
  2. I bet Theresa May is regretting banning water cannons. It might do a lot of them the world of good a decent wash. This sort of aggravating protest is getting more and more commonplace, its like we're France!
  3. Speaking as a younger bloke who's now suffering from an injury I didn't get fixed properly 12 years ago get yourself fixed ASAP. If you let it linger to the point that it hurts you you'll already have been compensating for it and wrecked your other hip and you'll need that replacing 18 months later. You also run the risk of ruining your knees and you'll have to have them sorted out as well. I've learnt too late now you need to look after your body.
  4. I'd forgotten this gem. My grandad was a caretaker for a now defunct naughty boys boarding school. Every so often hed produce a load of stationary or the occasional piece of furniture. I remember having a desk made of yellow pine that was the biggest heaviest atrocity of a piece of furniture I've ever seen. Obviously so these kids couldn't smash them up or do much bar graffiti it. Anyway they'd had some painting done, from the colour I can only assume it was a dark room or torture chamber! He decided their kitchen needed a spruce up so with the left over tin he painted it one morning on his tea break. In about half an hour. With no dust sheets on anything. Or moving anything. He painted in bright pea green around pictures, radiators and even around his chair. Grandmother went mad! But it stayed for many years. They were heavy smokers so the ceiling was dark yellow and there was a heavy fug of fag smoke. So the light was perpetually on!
  5. Didn't back anything in the end. I'm terrible at backing horses.
  6. He was kicking because he was dead. The horse behind him kicked him in the head and essentially poleaxed him. Could have happened in any race any time. I've known horses slip in the field messing about and hit their head off a stone or root and kill themselves. Its unfortunate and unpleasant but if you've got livestock you'll have dead stock. Nice to see tiger roll win and make history.
  7. In a similar vein to the black lad getting in a state because there was some racist chants from the crowd the other day. It's not right and shouldn't be condoned but if I was a multimillionaire going home to my super model girlfriend, in my mansion to sleep on my mountain of money, I'm pretty sure I could tolerate a little bit I'd verbal abuse.
  8. I think we could do with a good old fashioned revolution. Borrow a guillotine off the French and chop off a few heads. I'm only 1/2 joking. The queen should invoke a few ancient laws and behead the majority of the treasonous wastrels.
  9. I must be on somebody's rolodex or something. Not for the first time I got a call from a TV researcher - I once got called to be an expert witness on judge rinder. I declined. I got a call from a researcher for channel 4 to see if I'd like to do a program where they give you a farm animal from a calf to a hen and you look after it for 3 weeks and see if it changes your attitude to eating meat. I played along to start with in case I got some free livestock, but once I turned out it was a loan for 3 weeks I confessed I was stood in a pen next to a lamb I pulled out 3 days ago that come October would be going in my freezer and I probably wasnt the demographic they were looking for. It amused me for 10 minutes or so.
  10. I just looked up the symptoms of fibromyalgia. Pain, stiffness, tiredness and trouble sleeping...does 3/4 qualify me for a big hand out?
  11. They had a good fiddle with the RCCD box for that very reason. I cant remember exactly what they did!
  12. Had a joiner build a bespoke cupboard to hide the washing machine and stop the pup from eating the electric meter. Lovely cupboard built with a lovely oak top and a couple of doors on the front. Cooking tea that night and I was convinced I'd got a shock off the cooker but I was tired and put it down to static. Next lunch time I come back and Mrs BTJ asked if I'd had a shock off the sink??? No dear. Called father in law because hed moved us a socket earlier in the week. He checked his work and couldn't find anything, but was reading 110v off the cooker and the sink. 'You should be ok, it probably wont kill you but I've got the electricians coming in the morning because I've no idea what its'. A bit of explorative surgery by the electricians and it turned out that the joiner had somehow managed to stick a bloody great big screw into the ring main ams electrify the house, without blowing himself up or tripping the breaker. Luckily it didn't burn the house down or kill any of us.
  13. If youve got space build a large ladder trap, bait it with bread but leave the top off for a few days until they're comfortable feeding in it and then after a week or so put the top on it after dark next morning you should have loads. The trick is getting them feeding there before you try to trap them.
  14. I would have loved to have seen the colonels face!
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