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Shooting guests from hell


starlight32
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Had the guest from hell on my shoot weekend before last and was wondering if many had experienced the same?

 

I was thinking about it again just now and after speaking to the gun who invited him I thought it had better be posted.

 

Fella turns up as guest of one of the members. He was 'plastic posh' if you get my drift...But you speak as you find (I'm not jumping the gun at the moment I may add)

 

Things did'nt get off to a good start from the very beginning upon his arrival into the farmyard when he skidded into the back of another gun's truck knocking his gun over which was lent up...Nice scrape on a guys Browning to which he made a joke of it before he had even introduced himself leaning out of the window remarking;

 

'Put it down to wear and tear guns need to look used'

 

This was followed by a persistant annoyance throughout the whole day which included calling 'My bird,My bird' to stuff coming over guns two stands up, complaining about the lack of birds and their quality to what he was used to, and finalizing with a remark of I shall not be coming here again- I hope you donot expect me to pay for the beaters as they just are'nt worth it (Its free already fella, 57 pheasants,19 duck and 9 partridges on a diy shoot- so?:rolleyes:?)

 

To top it all I had been pondering the strange smell coming from the back of my truck for the last few weeks which I could'nt put my finger on until this afternoon. While speaking to the person who invited the above ****, he reminded me that I ought to drive a little slower when I had guests onboard as...........

 

 

 

 

 

'David was most put out as he said I drove so fast to the last drive it burst his colostomy bag'

 

Hey ho and all that?

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Although I sympathise with you, you mate was not particularly brilliant leaning his gun against his motor. Should have left it in the cab. Seen a dog knock one over in the same way. Nice ding in the barrel blue.

 

We had a Mr My bird, My bird with us once. Problem to know what to do with him.

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"My bird"?? It's incredible how some people can be so utterly shameless. Thankfully we have a good bunch of guys on our shoot and none of us would dream of inviting anyone like that along. If they did they would be given short shrift!

 

As for being so rude about what was essentially a free gift he should be named and shamed amongst all the neighbouring shoots. It's a relatively close-knit community, make sure their bridges are well and truly burnt! :rolleyes:

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I've shot next to one of them and he was doing the same, simple answer bearing in mind its on my mates farm was a quiet word with him followed by taking the birds early. Obviously only the ones heading for me but having some cock calling birds flying straight at you is extracting the urine

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Things did'nt get off to a good start from the very beginning upon his arrival into the farmyard when he skidded into the back of another gun's truck knocking his gun over which was lent up...

 

To top it all I had been pondering the strange smell coming from the back of my truck for the last few weeks which I could'nt put my finger on until this afternoon. While speaking to the person who invited the above ****, he reminded me that I ought to drive a little slower when I had guests onboard as...........

 

 

'David was most put out as he said I drove so fast to the last drive it burst his colostomy bag'

 

Hey ho and all that?

 

Wow what an idiot, you should send him a clean up bill for your truck. I think taxis drivers charge £100.

Edited by reddan
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I once watched a man shoot a swan when the first shoot of the day was on the duck pond... Apparently none of them had ever shot game and failed to mention that at the farm...

 

You'll be pleased to hear the man was made to walk the 2 miles back to the farm, holding the swan and his gun (All this along with an almighty telling off from the farmer and beaters). I do believe he also had to cross a road or two, so hopefully someone saw him.

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No problems with guests, but their dogs thats another matter. Worse one was a real nice gent but his Lab was a killer, it was not just a fighter but really did go in for the kill and meant it. After one drive and during which his dog set upon two others I asked him to put it on a lead. Five minutes later it went for another dog and manged to lock on even though it was supposedly now under control. After that the guest was asked to put his dog in the car for the rest of the day (the thought never occured to him beforehand). He made his excuses and left at lunch time.

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Quite right, a good guest says "your bird" not "my bird" and makes sure that the guns around him get some shooting.

Its rude to take a quartering bird or one that would make a better shot for someone further down the line.

Its rude to shoot a low bird and blow a hole in it making it inedible.

Its good manners to ignore your neighbours misses and compliment their good shots.

At the end of the day, if you've shot one or two really good sporting birds, you've had a good day.

Killing everything that comes past without discrimination may say youre a good shot but it says you are not a sportsman

Shooting birds over the next peg is arrogant and rude.

Claiming birds that other pegs shot at the same time is a bit selfish and marks you down. Better to compliment the other chap.

Not acknowledging pricked birds, not knowing where they fell and leaving your peg before telling the pickers-up where they fell will earn you the undying scorn of the beaters and keeper as will sending them out to look for birds you missed and claimed you hit.

Letting a peg dog off before the horn or whistle sounds to mark the end of the drive and depriving the pickers up of the opportunity to exercise their dogs and skill, letting it roam out of control, not putting it on a lead between drives are all serious breaches of etiquette.

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Trouble is fella's although conduct and manners is important I feel at any type of sport, He was in no way dangerous- Just a pain in the butt with manners you don't often see.

 

Don't get me wrong he is'nt coming back, even the gun who invited him did'nt realize he was quite the way he was.

 

Obviously he won't be returning.

 

Tell me is the waste from a colostomy bag all mixed in together or is it just wee?

 

What ever it is it would make good a filler for a stink bomb............

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Serves you right really for inviting Pavman,

 

:lol:

 

Coffee/keyboard etc etc.

 

Seriously though, that guest sounds like a right chod. I cant think of many things worse than having a day ruined by someone like that.

 

Also, I wish I could tell you that a colostomy contents are only wee, but the "colo" part comes from colon, which is where the big jobbies live, if you catch my drift... :D:lol::D;)

 

ZB

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:lol:

 

Coffee/keyboard etc etc.

 

Seriously though, that guest sounds like a right chod. I cant think of many things worse than having a day ruined by someone like that.

 

Also, I wish I could tell you that a colostomy contents are only wee, but the "colo" part comes from colon, which is where the big jobbies live, if you catch my drift... :D:lol::D;)

 

ZB

 

 

To put alll your minds at rest pavman was not the culprit.... It could'nt possibly be him as;

 

A) Driven shooting is not free

 

B) He is too busy buying the contents of a local paper shop's sweet counter trying to get a glimpse of a tidy birds backside :lol: ....A particular backside I may add that I managed to see by going for the liquorice boot laces off the bottom shelf far left by mach 3 razors :sly::sly:

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Quite right, a good guest says "your bird" not "my bird" and makes sure that the guns around him get some shooting.

Its rude to take a quartering bird or one that would make a better shot for someone further down the line.

Its rude to shoot a low bird and blow a hole in it making it inedible.

Its good manners to ignore your neighbours misses and compliment their good shots.

At the end of the day, if you've shot one or two really good sporting birds, you've had a good day.

Killing everything that comes past without discrimination may say youre a good shot but it says you are not a sportsman

Shooting birds over the next peg is arrogant and rude.

Claiming birds that other pegs shot at the same time is a bit selfish and marks you down. Better to compliment the other chap.

Not acknowledging pricked birds, not knowing where they fell and leaving your peg before telling the pickers-up where they fell will earn you the undying scorn of the beaters and keeper as will sending them out to look for birds you missed and claimed you hit.

Letting a peg dog off before the horn or whistle sounds to mark the end of the drive and depriving the pickers up of the opportunity to exercise their dogs and skill, letting it roam out of control, not putting it on a lead between drives are all serious breaches of etiquette.

 

Markm take note...... :lol: .... :D

 

shaun

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I once took a guy who was suposed to be an experianced wildfowler out. At morning flight 200 pink footed geese came over us both 40 yards up with a pair only 10 yards up on my far side about 20 yards from me and 70 yards from him. You guessed it he shot at and claimed my two geese. Later i warned him that there were likely to be some mallard sheltering on a bend in the river. When we were still a hundred yards he ups and shoots a starling , disturbing 7 mallard just out of range.

 

On another morning we were both guests on a shoot. we were waiting for several hundred geese to flight of towards us. They were only sitting 150 yards away on their roost and had been feeding on a field behind us the day before. A small bunch of geese came back from behind us 100 yards up and he shoots at them, jumping the geese infront and they all flew off to the side of us.

 

A few weeks later he begged my spare gun off me as his had gone wrong. I lent him a 28 inch barreled Kestrel. It came back a 24 1\2 inch barreled kestrel. He had backed a tractor and trailer over the end of the barrel and taken a hacksaw to it cutting 3 1\2 inches off a squashed barrel and thought I would not notice.

 

Finally he got a day ticket to shoot on a Wash club marsh ( was not with him that day ) and proceded to walk up a large creek getting several teal and mallard. The only trouble the creek was well inside a RSPB reserve.

 

O one more thing , he lost his gundog one night and despite returning the next day could not find it. A local person found it and took it in though the guy who owned it did not hear about it for almost a year. Th then went around and asked for his dog back without giving the guy a thank you or offering to pay for the food it had eaten over the past year.

Edited by anser2
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Trouble is fella's although conduct and manners is important I feel at any type of sport, He was in no way dangerous- Just a pain in the butt with manners you don't often see.

 

Don't get me wrong he is'nt coming back, even the gun who invited him did'nt realize he was quite the way he was.

 

Obviously he won't be returning.

 

Tell me is the waste from a colostomy bag all mixed in together or is it just wee?

 

What ever it is it would make good a filler for a stink bomb............

 

Its faecal waste almost, the colon is the pre-terminal end of the digestive tract, so you should have a nice mixture of digested food which hasn't quite got the end point of the human body, to make you feel better there most likely isn't any urine in there.

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