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Children in Restaurants


Doc Holliday
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The OH & I were asked out for a Thai last night by her son & daughter in law. Seeing as we've never had abonafide Thai we thought we'd give it a try. On being shown to our table we had a family of 6 seated next to us, grand parents, parents & kids (2 x 21 month old twins). My first thougt was "Oh Great! I can't wait until they start screaming and being nuisance in general by running around and banging into the back of my chair". Anyhow, I was determined not to show my distain to these little urchins.... I mean cherubs.

 

After about 10 minutes the nearest child started to throw things in our general direction. The grandfather kept picking up the items for the child to throw again in our direction. No sign of an apology for the child's behaviour. After several more minutes of this the child was obviously getting frustrated with not getting a response from our table. It now started to grizzle as it was strapped into it's seat by some kind of universal child seat thingy that acted as a high chair, closely followed by its sibling. The OH looks at me and says "Don't say anything, please." More of a plea than anything. The mother gets up and sets one free, and what do you know? It starts banging on the back of my chair. I say "I think I need to use the loo" in order to push the chair back and get the child away from our table. The OH asks me to remain seated and then breaks into conversation with the mother about the high chair thingies. "They're probably the best thing I think I've ever bought" she remarks. I turn to the OH's son and say "I'd thought a condom would have been a better option".

 

The grandfather now has hold of one of the kids and it's grizzling like you wouldn't believe. The old man let's it go and it prompty runs into the edge of the table. It stands there for a moment with it's mouth open and eyes shut it what appears to be a grimace but I know exactly what's coming next so I stick my fingers in my ears (the longer the child stays in this position the louder the following scream will be) and sure enough it lets rip. Sensing my patience is seeing new boundaries of tolerence my OH pleads with me not to say anything. I oblige as I think the world of her but I really have had enough of these "modern parent" types who think that all & sudry should tolerate their childs bratish behaviour.

 

Ultimately, in my opinion, restaurants are the reserve of adults and older children, especially those who know how to behave in public. The problem my partner has is that she knows I would say something, and I generally would, not in a rude or intolerent way but in a way that they would know I find their childs behaviour unacceptable for the kind of setting. And just by chance, it's one of the topics on Radio 2.

 

So, have you ever told the parent(s) of a child or children their childs behaviour is NOT acceptable to you?

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Hmmm have you got children doc. I take my kids out to eat all the time and sometimes they do get a bit carried away and to be honest if anyone said anything to me i would just laugh at them and tell them im paying as much as you and if you dont like it tough.

 

Obviously for the most part my children are well behaved but having a 13 month old baby unfortunatly he does not understand (at 21 month old its hard for them to understand) that making a noise might upset someone else.

 

thats my opinion anyway

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Something wrong with the parents or grandparents making them understand is there?

 

If you said you were paying as much as me so tough to me then you would have a full scale row on your hands. My parents bought me up correctly and showed me to respect others.

 

If you want to drag your kids up and let them do what they want then take them to a playground not a resturaunt where they will annoy others.

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like i said for the most park my children are well behaved but there isnt a chance in the world of telling a baby to behave.

 

it has nothing to do with hoe you are brought up.

 

 

It has everything to do with how you were brought up, and what values were built into you by your parents. Are you saying that you would allow your kids to constantly throw things at some other customers just because you are paying the same ammount for your food?

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It has everything to do with how you were brought up, and what values were built into you by your parents. Are you saying that you would allow your kids to constantly throw things at some other customers just because you are paying the same ammount for your food?

 

No i would remove the offending missile to stop the problem (common sense) but as for the noise making please if you know how to make a baby stop making noise let me know i could do with some sleep sometimes.

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Hmmm have you got children doc. I take my kids out to eat all the time and sometimes they do get a bit carried away and to be honest if anyone said anything to me i would just laugh at them and tell them im paying as much as you and if you dont like it tough.

 

Obviously for the most part my children are well behaved but having a 13 month old baby unfortunatly he does not understand (at 21 month old its hard for them to understand) that making a noise might upset someone else.

 

thats my opinion anyway

 

I agree that children of that age are incapable of comprehending what social graces are but there would little chance of them learning any from you if that's you're look on it. As I often say, there is a right way and wrong way of approaching a subject with someone and if someones response is to the negative then they do have a problem. To say that "I'm paying as much as you" doesn't qualify as an answer, my friend. To be perfectly honest I'd say that attitude was tantamount to chav talk. Spending money in restaurant doesn't give you the right to do as you wish and behave as you want. In fact, I'd say the onus is on the parent to ensure their children are not being a nuisance to other patrons.

 

Alex, if you were any other man... but hate to admit you are right, this time anyway. :good:

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I have 4 little cherubs.... 19, 16, 7 & 2. Obviously the older 2 are well manered and adjusted so don't 'create' any problems. The 7 year old, likewise is usually easy to control in a restaurant and knows how to behave although (and I am lead to believe this is a girl thing) she does have a tendency to want to visit the loo every 5 minutes! George, the 2 year old is a typical destructive, demanding little chap who, at times is difficult to control and will hapily annoy anyone who won't pay him the attention he demands! In McDonalds we just let him get on with it, in one of the chain restaurants (F&Bs, Pizza Express etc...) we play it by ear, i.e. if he is having a compliant day, we stay and enjoy... if he is having a destructo boy day, we bolt the food and retreat fast. We would not take him to anything I would class as a 'grown up' restaurant.

 

At the end of the day, why shouldn't a family enjoy a meal out, I agree that some parents show little sign of control or for that matter, intent to control but what do you want us to do.... just not take the kids out for a nice meal..??

 

There is an incredibly simple solution Doc... stick to licensed retaurants where children aren't allowed i.e. pubs, and you won't have a problem.... or... give the establishment a quick call before you go to make sure there are no families booked in....

 

It's funny, I get annoyed and angry when I go into a restaurant and end up sitting near to a grumpy, annoying old g.i.t. (don't know why it's always the older ones!) who chunter and complain all the way through a meal and then complain about nothing at the end of it. They probably do it every time they go out... in reality, they would probably best off staying at home and coocking pork chops just as they like 'em!!! If I were sat between 2 tables, one with a roudy family and one with a pair of meldrews.... I'll take the kids any day of the week!

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Babies are a lot like dogs, condition them correctly and you have an easy life, let them rule the roost and you don't. I've various relatives all of whom seem to be going through the "new parenting" book of letting the child sleep in their bed and do what the hell it likes and then wonder why they get no sleep and the little ******** don't do what they are told

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I have 4 little cherubs.... 19, 16, 7 & 2. Obviously the older 2 are well manered and adjusted so don't 'create' any problems. The 7 year old, likewise is usually easy to control in a restaurant and knows how to behave although (and I am lead to believe this is a girl thing) she does have a tendency to want to visit the loo every 5 minutes! George, the 2 year old is a typical destructive, demanding little chap who, at times is difficult to control and will hapily annoy anyone who won't pay him the attention he demands! In McDonalds we just let him get on with it, in one of the chain restaurants (F&Bs, Pizza Express etc...) we play it by ear, i.e. if he is having a compliant day, we stay and enjoy... if he is having a destructo boy day, we bolt the food and retreat fast. We would not take him to anything I would class as a 'grown up' restaurant.

 

At the end of the day, why shouldn't a family enjoy a meal out, I agree that some parents show little sign of control or for that matter, intent to control but what do you want us to do.... just not take the kids out for a nice meal..??

 

There is an incredibly simple solution Doc... stick to licensed retaurants where children aren't allowed i.e. pubs, and you won't have a problem.... or... give the establishment a quick call before you go to make sure there are no families booked in....

 

It's funny, I get annoyed and angry when I go into a restaurant and end up sitting near to a grumpy, annoying old g.i.t. (don't know why it's always the older ones!) who chunter and complain all the way through a meal and then complain about nothing at the end of it. They probably do it every time they go out... in reality, they would probably best off staying at home and coocking pork chops just as they like 'em!!! If I were sat between 2 tables, one with a roudy family and one with a pair of meldrews.... I'll take the kids any day of the week!

Hit the nail on the head well said viper

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I only had one person ever moan about my kids while in a restaurant and believe me she got a hear bashing from me....

But there again I would be the same if they moaned about my dogs :yes::good::good:

 

I went to an Indian restaurant last year and my son would of then been about 18 Months old, so very loud when he was getting bored waiting for us to eat our food, but I simply just put him in the pram and took him for a bit of fresh air as i didnt want to annoy other people around me....but if the restaurant caters for kids then expect to have some noise and crying..thats what kids do, but there is a line between kids crying and just get bored and kids who are behaving badly and yes the later is down to the parents and their children upbringing.

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The thing is Vipa, there are restaurants that cater for families - Chalire Chalks and the likes, and we do avoid these, not least because of the child themed aspect but the food is pretty grot too. As I said, it was the first time the OH & I went to this restaurant but her son & daughter in law have been several times. And normally I would address the subject of a child's impetuous behaviour with those concerned if I felt it warranted it. That doesn't make me a grumpy old g.i.t, but it does bolster the fact that there are people out there who feel others should endure the unruly behaviour of a child. Not so much a case of me sticking to adult only restuarants (if there are such things) but more a case of those with unruly children should stick to charlie chalks or pizza hut or whatever the local "family" eatery may be.

 

The restaurant the OH & I usually go to are excellent and I can't think of any time there has been a situation like this there when we've been there, which is usually at least once a month.

 

Jonno, believe me it did cross my mind :good:

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I have never once had a complaint about my kids (must be the good parenting) and we go out nearly every weekend as my wife works very hard and its good to be able to go out and relax and spend time with the children. We visit various types of eating establishments. Most parents with young children tend to go and eat fairly early so i suppose theres a good chance if you dont wish to be anoyed by the youngsters it would be a good idea to go out a little later in the evening.

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The issue is more to do with the lack of parental control than the child being out of control.

I ask to move tables in these circumstances and tend not to dine where kids are welcome.

It's crass to argue that all diners should be disturbed by misbehaving kids: it's a lack of consideration to others. That in turn will be passed on to the kids who will grow up to be the selfish chavs that blight town centres in due course.

All for the sake of a little parental oversight...

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However.... the terrible twos have been so called forever... a 2 year old's tantrum is rarely down to bad parenting nor is it easy to control or predict. George had a full on, lying on the floor, screaming and kicking tantrum just the other day in the middle of the co-op just because he demanded sweeties and was denied! These things happen and as I have said, if you are not tollerant of anything but your own peace and quiet then avoid ANYWHERE where there MAY be children... it really is easy... Sadly, there is absolutely no-where I can go where I would be safe from grumpy, selfish, intollerant, miserable g.i.t.s. who have nothing better to do than moan about everything :good:

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