ME Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 (edited) SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD Welcome to my ad for my Toyota RAV4 SWB. This is the limited edition "BABE MAGNET" version. It comes with not one, but TWO Lifeboats stickers in the rear window. I am told that this a badge of honour in "dogging code" and is a sign of the owners virility. This amazing vehicle comes with my usual "Four miles or four minutes" comprehensive warranty. It comes in faded Red with a go faster dent in the front wing and a rough and ready scratch on the rear wing. (guaranteed to get you admiring looks at the traffic lights) If you are from Hertfordshire, I would call the colour "Crayfish Cerise" if that helps with the sale. (I have also done plenty of "tugging" in this car) :P I bought this car last summer and it has been very reliable. Every time I turn the key it starts. (on this basis, it is more reliable than my five year old Range Rover) This is the 4th RAV4 I have owned and I have been very pleased with each one. This one has covered 109k and has FULL SERVICE HISTORY. The car is actually red but like all red paintwork it has faded over time. I was going to "T CUT" the car but I have been too busy entertaining the many female admirers I have met while driving this vehicle. There are two small bits of damage to the front drivers wing (no paint damage, just a dent) and the drivers rear wing has a scratch. The car has - CD PLAYER (REMOVABLE FACE) - It is one of the best Chinese makes I have seen. You can change the display colour and all that malarky. AIR CON - needs re gassing - Or save £40 and open the super dooper working electric windows. TILT / SLIDE SUNROOF - Obviously if you are "Oop Norf" there is too much smog and rain so you wont need this. SIDE STEPS - I tell everyone that they are the "tips of the hidden wings" and when I press the "magic button" the wings pop out ready for flight. TOWBAR - Great for towing your "whippet trailer or mobile pigeon loft" if Oop Norf. TWIN TOW BAR ELECTRICS (the grey one is tucked up under the rear bumper) This might get you a bit of trouser movement if you are a caravanner. Winter is coming and with that the SNOW. Buy this bargain 4x4 now and chuckle at your neighbours when they get snowed in !! :-) Don't believe the LANDROVER HYPE - THIS IS THE BEST 4x4 BY FAR. This is a reliable car. It has just passed an MOT so you will have a years worth of trouble free sexy Japanese motoring. There is no road tax on this vehicle it is currently SORN. You wont be winning any Concours competitions down at the Beaulieu motoring museum but it is reliable and cheap. For anyone that doesn't know about the Toyota RAV4, this is the Short Wheel Base version, it has a small boot but it is VERY easy to park (things you only worry about if you are a bird). It has a MANUAL gearbox. (that's the one with the three pedals and gearstick "thingy" - if you are a bird) The RAV4's are PERMANENT 4x4 and have a switch on the dash for diff locks. This badass motor could easy pull the skin off a rice pudding, if not the skin off two rice puddings. Anyway, do you your worst, ask me silly questions, make rude comments. * I am not swapping this for your gun / dog / missus / day out crayfishing * None of the other cars or buildings in the background are for sale * I dont care if you are gutted cos you havent got the money * I dont care if you are "just too far away" * I dont care if you only have £400 and 20 B&H to offer me * I dont care if you think it is a GAY motor and I should have bought a defender I am looking for a stress free CASH SALE. I am in sunny Billericay Essex, if you are from Oop North you had better bring some sunblock if you are coming to view. PRICE: £750.00 - including Lifeboat stickers and a years MOT. (NO TAX) MESSAGE TO THE MODS: I fully expect a bit of banter on this one. I won't threaten legal proceedings if my thread gets derailed. Live and let live on this one Edited December 5, 2011 by ME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chard Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Can I get a pool table in the boot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Can I get a pool table in the boot? I wouldn't think that you could get one of those full sized pub pool tables in there. With the folding rear seats you might get a childrens small pool table in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beardo Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 what calibre is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timps Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Would I be able to drive it off a 50ft cliff and survive ? Is it capable of going faster than the speed of light ? could I bring my good coach down to view it to make sure it fits me? How many crayfish could I fit in the boot? Does the diff lock help with the quality of 'tugging' ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 what calibre is it? I am sure from the photos you will see that this vehicle is of the HIGHEST CALIBRE. I forgot to mention the "Animal" surf sticker and the two "Monster Energy" stickers, my mechanic tells me that these can add 10 MPH to the top speed and add £50 to the asking price. I have included them in the sale. This car model is particularly popular with bearded people due to the "beard friendly" steering wheel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elby Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 I'll give you 300 of the queens pounds for the faded piece of **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Would I be able to drive it off a 50ft cliff and survive ? This is a 1997 model and as such think it was manufactured before the new 1998 EU law about surviving a fall from a cliff. As such I would not recommend it. Is it capable of going faster than the speed of light ? If you blink furiously whilst watching this car go down the road it will appear to be faster than the speed of light. could I bring my good coach down to view it to make sure it fits me? Yes, I would be happy to do that. This car has a neutral cast so it is good for left and right handed shooters. If you have eye dominance issues I will stick a bit of clear perspex over part of the windscreen if this will help. Those leather shoe tab / protector things are not compulsory with this vehicle. (you wont have posh shoes if you buy this car) How many crayfish could I fit in the boot? I would suggest that with a worktop shelf in there you could be looking at about 200. Does the diff lock help with the quality of 'tugging' ? Yes, the diff locks will help you to get to lots of "secret" tugging locations. Believe me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canthitathing Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Is it Ex Post office and if so, How is Pat going to deliver the mail now Have you got one in Camo??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 I'll give you 300 of the queens pounds for the faded piece of **** A kind offer, but I cannot accept the "pink pound". The interior is however "leather chaps friendly" and easy to park outside gay clubs if you are that way inclined Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stavvy Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 ME would you consider breaking it? I've just shown the picture to a poof who lives down the lane and he said he'd love the wheel trims Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Is it Ex Post office and if so, How is Pat going to deliver the mail now Have you got one in Camo??? It is not ex Post Office. It was originally built for "Barbie the Movie" but the film was never commissioned. This colour is "Crayfish Cerise" and as such can be used as a giant crayfish decoy if you are out tugging. If you were thinking about using it for pigeon shooting you wont need it in Camo. Once your farmer / landowner has stopped taking the mickey out of your new shooting wagon you wont feel like pigeon shooting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 I'd have it if it had lots of "No Fear" and "One Life Live It" stickers on it. That way other drivers would know that I was a helmet without the need to stop and talk to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 ME would you consider breaking it? I've just shown the picture to a poof who lives down the lane and he said he'd love the wheel trims Those wheel trims could be removed and using as giant frisbees or sharpen them up and you could use them as "Ninja Throwing Stars" :yp: In fact this sale is for four plastic Ninja Throwing Stars with "free car". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elby Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 A kind offer, but I cannot accept the "pink pound". The interior is however "leather chaps friendly" and easy to park outside gay clubs if you are that way inclined Does it back itself into the car park of gay clubs, if so I'll increase my offer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 I'd have it if it had lots of "No Fear" and "One Life Live It" stickers on it. That way other drivers would know that I was a helmet without the need to stop and talk to them. I have never needed to stop to confirm my "helmet status" whilst driving this car. The hand gestures I have been receiving from passers by were self explanatory. Those stickers you mention are available on Fleabay if you think this motor needs a bit of "blinging up". (It already has TWO lifeboat stickers you know...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun4860 Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Those wheel trims could be removed and using as giant frisbees or sharpen them up and you could use them as "Ninja Throwing Stars" :yp: In fact this sale is for four plastic Ninja Throwing Stars with "free car". If only i had a spare slot on my licence for 4 plastic ninja throwing stars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilR Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Do you think I could fit my labrador Fenton and a couple of deer in the boot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Could I pile 65 pigeons in the back and then get away with saying that it was 400? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beardo Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chard Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 I'll give you £28.76 in loose change and a pack of Danish bacon................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catweazle Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Will you take a cement mixer in part exchange ? It's orange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 If only i had a spare slot on my licence for 4 plastic ninja throwing stars Shoehorn, GREAT NEWS! Plastic Ninja Throwing Stars are not covered under the FAC or SGC and you don't need to be a member of the CPSA or BASC.. Feel free to send me an offer by PM - if you are worried of a jealous backlash because you got in first... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thelongwayup Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Does the wireless go really loud? So loud it will shake the windows and make my testicles vibrate? Does it come with a fluffy steering wheel cover at all and if not, would you be willing to throw one in? Is it possible to add a dual exit berzorst pipe on it to make it sound like a knackered saxo? One of my shooting mates is 38 stone. Will he be able to sit in the front without releasing the handbrake or knocking it into neutral with his right bum cheek? Does it have a dump valve on it and if so, can you tell me what they are for? Does it smell of dead stuff or have you fitted a girly air freshener/man choker? You say you won't take 400 notes and 20 B&H...what about £400, 20 B&H, a curly wurly and a bag of refreshers? if needs be i'll stretch to a mixed bag of mojo's and imps. How fast does it go downhill with a tail wind and a good push too? Lastly, does it come with any permissions for me to shoot on? fanx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chard Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Is it an auto? If it is, does it bark and claim it's first victim? Arf Arf..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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