death from below Posted May 16, 2007 Report Share Posted May 16, 2007 Walked into a bar......ouch.....was a metal bar...........bum bum B) :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Pork Pie walks into a bar and the barman says 'sorry mate we don't serve food' There are hundreds of others, I doubt they can be worse than that Or can they . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEFTY478 Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 "Slept like a log last night, woke up in a fireplace." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Two nuns in the bath and one says "where's the soap?" The second replies "Yes it does doesn't it". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 OK, if we are going down that rocky road. 2 nuns on tandem going down a cobbled street, one says 'I have never come this way before' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tosspot Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 How many surealists does it take to change a lightbulb. Fish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackbart Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 A nun sitting in the bath and theres a knock at the door,"who is it she shouts" "Its the blind man"comes the reply. Oh well i suppose thats ok then"come in" she shouts. The door opens and the man says"where do you want these blinds" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 At last Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
young airgunner Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 blackbart heard that many times but is still very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owenwill Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 What's a Hindu? Lays eggs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Doctor I think I'm a bridge! Whats come over you? 2 cars and a lorry. I'll get my coat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pin Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Horse walks into a bar, barman says "why the long face" - Has to be a classic! Bloke walks into the doctors with a steering wheel down his pants, doctor asks "does it hurt?" bloke replies "no, but its driving me nuts" Both classics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 What goes "ha ha bonk"? A man laughing his head off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pin Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Knock Knock, who's there, Dr Has to be in the lineup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dicko Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 whats a hospice? about 2 pints Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulkyuk Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 What do you call a pig that does karate........ Pork Chop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poacher Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Patient: Doctor Doctor I think i've got a strawberry stuck up my bum Dr: I've got some cream for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invector Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 What's grey and comes in gallons? An elephant. What's brown and green, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A snooker table. What do you use to kill a purple elephant? A purple elephant gun. What do you use to kill a white elephant? No, silly, there's no such thing as a white elephant gun. You tie a knot in its trunk, until it goes purple, THEN shoot it with a purple elephant gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death from below Posted May 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Two bits of road are in a pub having a drink.........suddenly one looks up and goes quiet.......he says to the other bit of road, "look out theres that red bit of tarmac just walked in.....don't mess with him, he's a cycle path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiercel Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Man with Willie up a chimney........Think he ******g Great Man with willie in train tunnel........Think he ******g Loco Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the hitman Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 two teddy bears in the airing cupboard, which one is in the army ?. The one on the tank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mossy835 Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 doctor i feel like a pair of curtins, for god sake pull yourself together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerman Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 man walks into a litte chef - sorry mate didnt see you there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 2 aerials got married, the wedding wasn't up to much, but the reception was fantastic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bagsy Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 'Do you serve lobsters?' 'We serve anybody, sir.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.