Getting older is boring

[12gauge82]

2 hours ago, Doormat said:

Again thanks to everyone for taking the time and trouble to respond. I know this looks a bit woe is me… but I think it’s gone way past that point. When I walk to work I often just wish a car (preferably a bus or lorry) would lose control and wipe me out… silly but there it is. I have  generous life insurance so partner and son would be financially way better off.

Overtime…?? I had planned to work like a dog through the winter. Son wants us to go to New York next year!! Ouch!!

The Dark nights really affect me…. Gobbling 3000iu of vitamin D daily !!

But the recent change in UK government (labour) and their disgraceful treacherous commitment (favouritism) towards migrants and Muslims here in the UK has angered me so much… I refuse point blank to pay a penny more in tax to fund these B*******!! Yes I admit I’m now unbelievably racist!! Sorry they made me like this!!

Friends I have/had still think they’re in their 20’s…dress like their teen sons, their talk is crude and vulgar … “ whoa I’d **** that “ …” look at the jugs on her” etc etc 

I’m sure when we were teens such talk was normal but as I see them now letching I just want to distance myself. 
 

Photography has always interested me, but it seems such a selfish pastime and it bores partner and son rigid. Which makes me self conscious to go out and take pictures…knowing no one is interested…at all, so it seems a totally pointless exercise. I’ve tried joining forums, but it’s mainly just gear talk… full of braggers, no one seems to actually take pictures, they all seem to be just buying the latest camera or latest lens and any talk is usually brought around to the gear that was used…. Just boring.

I need to tone up (ageing losing muscle mass), want to step into the garage and start doing press ups, sit ups, exercise bike etc etc… but as I say I’m so tired constantly, my job is physically lifting and assembling (heavy steel parts engineering) averaging 25-30,000 steps a day most of it whilst carrying/lifting something…. Hence just tired constantly away from work. 
 

Family. This is the root of it all. Drunken abusive egotistical macho father, cold unloving narcissistic mother. I’m the eldest son. Got the wrath off both  parents when they were young and inexperienced themselves. I’m profoundly deaf (50-60%) from birth. Bullied horrendously at school and then at home by drunken father. Both my ‘perfect’ younger brothers (big age gap) had a totally different upbringing, parents had mellowed and had much much more money, so siblings benefited from nice holidays, nice clothes which in turn helped them blend in better socially, I had the exact polar opposite, hand made badly fitting clothes, basically just made to work from age 11 up, before school and most weekends and school holidays. Hence I’ve distanced myself from all my family. No intention of going to parent’s funerals…I feel nothing towards them… nothing, a complete lack of empathy!
 

I feel that there is nothing more to gain, that I’m just going through the motions of life and everything absolutely EVERYTHING is stacked against you, you are expected to pay for literally everything and worse contribute towards others!!! Ugh

just one big downer 

sorry 

 

Your trouble is not trivial and your far from alone with many of your gripes at life. 

Photography is a great hobby and one I think you should pursue, far from no one being interested, I'd say most are interested, from those who share the excitement of going to different places to take the photos, through to people like me that love to see the finished pictures that others have put all the effort in to capture. 

As for your son and partner being okay without you. Take it from someone who recently lost their dad, all the money in the world will never replace him and I think it's something no one really gets over. From how angry you are at the way you were mistreated by your parents, I know you are a good dad and your son would be destroyed by your loss, particularly at a young age. 

1 minute ago, Rim Fire said:

Was thinking  the same in my area you would have your ticket taken and guns 

Some things in life are more important than a firearms licence. If Op has any thoughts of genuine attempts at suicide, should go to gp and speak with partner immediately. But he might also just be feeling down, with no intention to harm himself. 

[Nublue 22]

Just look out of the window, bored never. 

[12gauge82]

Doormat, set up a new topic on here and share some photographs if you start snapping again, I'd genuinely love to see your photos. 

I was impressed with some dramatic photos welsh1 took the other day. 

[JKD]

1 minute ago, 12gauge82 said:

Your trouble is not trivial and your far from alone with many of your gripes at life. 

Photography is a great hobby and one I think you should pursue, far from no one being interested, I'd say most are interested, from those who share the excitement of going to different places to take the photos, through to people like me that love to see the finished pictures that others have put all the effort in to capture. 

As for your son and partner being okay without you. Take it from someone who recently lost their dad, all the money in the world will never replace him and I think it's something no one really gets over. From how angry you are at the way you were mistreated by your parents, I know you are a good dad and your son would be destroyed by your loss, particularly at a young age. 

I haven't read all the OP's posts on this thread [on my blocked list], but you mentioning this I will now do so, as I was too.

[Rim Fire]

6 minutes ago, 12gauge82 said:

Your trouble is not trivial and your far from alone with many of your gripes at life. 

Photography is a great hobby and one I think you should pursue, far from no one being interested, I'd say most are interested, from those who share the excitement of going to different places to take the photos, through to people like me that love to see the finished pictures that others have put all the effort in to capture. 

As for your son and partner being okay without you. Take it from someone who recently lost their dad, all the money in the world will never replace him and I think it's something no one really gets over. From how angry you are at the way you were mistreated by your parents, I know you are a good dad and your son would be destroyed by your loss, particularly at a young age. 

Some things in life are more important than a firearms licence. If Op has any thoughts of genuine attempts at suicide, should go to gp and speak with partner immediately. But he might also just be feeling down, with no intention to harm himself. 

Don't disagree  with you I was just saying  in my area I wouldn't  be saying how I feel on a public forum  

[Doormat]

Bye for now

Edited September 15 by Doormat

[Mungler]

8 minutes ago, 12gauge82 said:

Doormat, set up a new topic on here and share some photographs if you start snapping again, I'd genuinely love to see your photos. 

I was impressed with some dramatic photos welsh1 took the other day. 

Agreed. 

I can’t take a photo to save my life and have admiration for anyone who can. 

Welsh1’s photos were particularly interesting in the energy they conveyed. Never considered my self arty in the slightest but am aware of the effects. Indeed my only measure of any ‘art’ is that it has to be something I can’t do or create. I’ll put the beanbags and goatee beard away now. 

[JKD]

I've now read all the OP's posts and will reiterate,,,,,,, this member needs help ASAP, and IMO shouldn't be saying some of the things he is on an open shooting forum.

[Mungler]

3 minutes ago, Doormat said:

Clearly I’ve said too much.. you guys are my sound board, sorry

suicide would never be a option whilst partner and son are here. As for my airguns (12ft ib) they are not toys, but nor  are they shotguns either 😂

My tongue and my hands can inflict far deeper longer lasting wounds I assure you. We all have a breaking point.. mine is thankfully dormant. Yes, I appreciate I’m slipping under, trying to cling onto something to stay afloat.

 

Bear with me, I’ll beat it

👍🏻

High dose multivitamin every day and get yourself a SAD light box off Amazon for thirty quid - I work in an office and have one whenever I’m in the office.

[JKD]

Is the OP talking to his family regarding this 'issue' ? We can only offer advice,,,, they are immediately affected and can actually do something to help !

[12gauge82]

42 minutes ago, Doormat said:

Clearly I’ve said too much.. you guys are my sound board, sorry

suicide would never be a option whilst partner and son are here. As for my airguns (12ft ib) they are not toys, but nor  are they shotguns either 😂

My tongue and my hands can inflict far deeper longer lasting wounds I assure you. We all have a breaking point.. mine is thankfully dormant. Yes, I appreciate I’m slipping under, trying to cling onto something to stay afloat.

 

Bear with me, I’ll beat it

👍🏻

Don't be sorry, vent as much as you need to. 

imho, you do need to figure out what brings you happiness and the things that bring you negativity. Ignore negatives, particularly that you can't control and focus on actions you enjoy, that bring you satisfaction or improvement to you and your family. From the sounds of things, the first thing I'd do if I was you is turn off the news. Ignorance can be bliss. 

[clangerman]

your confusing bored with self pity over becoming a miserable skinflint if your unhappy with the dough you will be sick as a parrot when dead watching everyone else enjoy their lives spending it cure is simple blow the wedge! 

[Doormat]

2 hours ago, JKD said:

Is the OP talking to his family regarding this 'issue' ? We can only offer advice,,,, they are immediately affected and can actually do something to 

Edited September 15 by Doormat

[Doormat]

2 hours ago, 12gauge82 said:

Don't be sorry, vent as much as you need to. 

imho, you do need to figure out what brings you happiness and the things that bring you negativity. Ignore negatives, particularly that you can't control and focus on actions you enjoy, that bring you satisfaction or improvement to you and your family. From the sounds of things, the first thing I'd do if I was you is turn off the news. Ignorance can be bliss. 

Edited September 15 by Doormat

[hushpower]

On 14/09/2024 at 13:36, London Best said:

I thought this was a shooting forum? 
How can anybody be bored?

Haha yes exactly 

[Genghis]

Just to chime in - I believe from OP’s other posts that he is an air rifle shooter only and does not possess a SGC or FAC. There should be nothing to worry about from consulting a doctor.

[marsh man]

What we also have to think about is now the retirement age is going up the aches and pains start to kick in for the majority of us oldies around that time , for some it is well before then and for some lucky ones they get away from the pains nearly scot free , so get the most out of your health while you can , and like every thing else in life , it will not last forever , nor will we come to that .

[Miserableolgit]

Crikey, I could relate my own personal experiences but we are all different, and different in the manner in which we handle things. I think the OP should go and have a frank chat with a health professional.

[12gauge82]

9 hours ago, Miserableolgit said:

Crikey, I could relate my own personal experiences but we are all different, and different in the manner in which we handle things. I think the OP should go and have a frank chat with a health professional.

To be fair none of us should assume we know the struggles life has thrown at him. Life really can be hard at times. Minimising someones problems is not only wrong, but often very ignorant.