jimdfish

As I got in last night the sun was still blazing brightly over the kingdom of Stockport and I thought, nuts to it all, I am off out shooting for a couple of hours. I must have looked like the least likely shooter ever. With a plastic bag with four decoys in and a box of shells I trudged across recently muck spread fields wearing a cardigan over a golfing jumper and a pair of slip ons. I did not hold out much hope as i placed the deeks in a ptch of clover and unsheathed the old hammer gun. i found myself a spot at the base of a gnarled old oak and sat there, reveling in all mother nature had to offer. My first buterfly of the year lolloped by seemingly enjoying this rarae monet of sunshine as much as me. Bee's bumbled and the song birds in the hedgerows gave it there all as they too I feel could feel the sap rising. So as I sat luxuriating in the warmth I did not notice that a pigeon was now firmly committed to the deeks and in he came and such was my shock that any bird would come to the pattern ( I probably was not trying as hard as I should have to actually shoot anything) that by the time I had the gun up and loosed off a shot the bird was head down and wings back making for safety. it could have probably stayed where it was with a blindfold on and smoking a cigarette and it would have been safe such is the state of my shooting at the moment. The shot however put up close on 500 birds from the surrounding woods and after a couple flew nice and low over my head 500 birds were able to return to their roosts with nothing more than a slightly ruffled countenance and maybe a ringing in their ears to remember their experience by. A walk about the permission revealed a flash still in one field on top of which half a dozen teal were spooked and they shot up and off, they really are the jets of the wildfowl world. Five geese honked angrily at me as I returned empty handed but full hearted towards my oaken perch when in fr nt of me the unmistakable profile of the years first swallow appeared. First one then another and then they all came, every where I looked the welcome visitors were skimming over the waterlogged ditches catching up todays latest fly hatch. It must a be a man with a very dark heart who does not take pleasure from these avian indicators of better things to come. So with the sun painting the hills of Lyme park and the peak district brilliant shades of red and orange I packed up the decoys and sat down for one last look. Above at that moment a very accomodating woodie came in to roost. The breast cooked in olive oil and pepper went some way to completeing my dinner but the two hours sat in the sunshine and the nature certainly completed my day. JDF

rabbits Wrong place I know but it could be nice for a holiday. JDF

If you have fields to walk over with your gun and dog you cn tell the FLO that you have permission. see earlier thread re shotgun cert.

I watched a great film the other day about a volkswagen beetle that had its own personality. Honestly. It drove itself. Absolutely amazing really. It could also throw bananas, It was like, Sooo cool. i still have smile on my face now What will they think of next. I dont think it is out a the cinema yet as a bloke in the pu got me a copy if you know what I mean and I am sure that you do. JDF

I have just read in todays Times that the Kent county show is to ban the live sheep shearing displays. The reason: animal lovers have objected that "the sheep may get cut" Utter bloody nonsense and it is a shame that county shows are caving in to this silly thinking. JDF

A chap I know finished up in two para and now runs a course in the peaks doing a similar thing. they however work with kids with behavioural problems, read chavvy thieving ****. These lads are taken up to the moors and told they are only going for an afternoon stroll. On arrival they are told their kit is 12 miles away through peat and bog and unless they want to freeze to death they had better get a move on. 3 days later they end up near Doncaster very very tired. He says the job satisfaction of being paid to knock scallies down a peg or ten is great. JDF

Does anyone know of any beaches in north wales/lancs that are good for catching razor clams? Jim

tell me about it. My nearest permission is waiting for dryer weather to plough in and plant peas and barley. V.good shooting for a day or two but these suspenders are killing me. forecast is bleak too!! I may be a fish but I dont like the water. JDF

Favourite sledge. merv hughes to a batsman just adjusting to the crease " You have got a bit of **** on the end of your bat" the batsman lifts the blade to look at which point MH states " No, the other end you ******** Idiot" JIM

Partick Thistle and Stockport. Long suffering fan of both. The game last night should go along way topwards explaining why footie is really rather good JDF

Hi Gents, I took the young lad out on my permission yesterday to try to bag a few pigeons and as has been the norm recently I saw nowt. Not a single sodding bird coming home after our miserable mission the car just stops dead on the by-pass. Timing belt gone. Mare. So I am going to scrap the car as it is a miserable sack of **** that I now hate more than ever. To make matters worse while waiting for the AA man (V.Nice) the field on which we overlooked was absolutely rotten with pigeons eating clover. I have never seen so many in one place. i have just put 6 months on the *** and want it back. How do I do this and how long does it take etc etc. cheers jim

I thought the sight of a heavily made up American Woman , immaculatelly coiffured shooting an animal from a hide after a couple of hours pratcie with a crossbow typified this type of faux hunting. Very false indeed. They might as well have put cattle on the land and shot them. Jim

C'mon mung As a portly fellow myself I could do with losing some of the spare. Can you give me some details, amounts, food types etc/ Cheers Fatty fat fat bum

Dont shoot into the flock. Although it is difficult no to, you can lose the whole lot that way. Waot until they are dropping in in pairs or threes. JDF

Happy first of April. JDF

Crikey digger, Although I think there may be a tendency among certain anglers to try to distance themselves from the shooting arguement I dont think there are many anglers who will agree with the one letter that appears in the AT condemning a cormorant cull. There is certainly no in my club who would nor have I ever met an angler who would. JDF

unbelievably, for a change, I am in complete agreement with BM1. You are 23. 23, a man, and someone comes into your house and says " I am going to nick an egg and throw it at a car" You say "oh dont please it would not be right" and THEN go out with him anyway. No wonder people wanted to beat the snot out of him and was scared. it was probably the people who spend their sundays cleaning egg off their cars. JDF 23

There is a nice obituary in the times about a lady called Ena Goodacre, a name that I am sure the regular Bisley shooters will recognise. If you get a chance, have a read, it is quite interesting JDF

Tell FM hes fired!! Cheers dazza JDF

Can anyone tell me the first three finishers in this race please? jim

Crikey, Im glad Im going to the pub. Jim

according to the article it gives them an extra 200m which keeps them out of the taleban effective range. also got a much bigger scope. 25x rather than 12x JDF

there is a very interestting article in the times about the new army issue sniper rifle. 23 grand and it uses an 8.59mm round. Strange calibre but effective to 1100m JDF

Suicide?? JDF

John Wilsons nephew, Marstin Bowler contracted it and wrote about it in the angling times. Really quite debilitating. Get well soon. JDF