Anybody send their kids to private school

[Mungler]

In fairness I think Chard has hit the nail on the head.

 

We went to the local comp open day and the kids presentation was "the school guarantees to get us 5 GCSEs".

 

That wasn't even qualified with "at Grade C or above".

 

In this world that is just aiming too damn low, but it shows plain and clear at what level they are pitching their educational offering.

 

I immediately filled my pants at the realisation of what an alternative education would entail or cost i.e. Grammar or paid for.

 

The Grammar route is competitive and requires extra private tuition to cover topics that just aren't in the national curriculum i.e. verbal reasoning.

 

If the Grammar route doesn't work out and they are bright I will mortgage a kidney and find a way. That being said, I don't think I would send them to the school I went to

Edited May 3, 2012 by Mungler

[ME]

 

Do I think private education benefited me, no.

 

 

 

Would I tell my parents that

 

 

I wouldn't have to tell mine, they know the truth.

[Poacher]

 

There's no point in throwing money at education, if the kid is as thick as a board,

 

Not true, everyone is born with a brain, depends how you use it. Smaller classes and dedicated tuition may give them the extra helping start they need. Private schools are notoriously good for heping kids with dyslexia etc Alternatively you may find that your "thick" kid has a hidden talent in swimming, fencing or anyone of a huge range of activities not available to comprehensive schools.

[ME]

When my brother got expelled from private school the headmaster said this to my father: "I wish your son luck in life, he is either going to be a millionaire or go to prison"

 

There is good and bad in both systems.

 

We tutored ME Jnr for the 11+. He is an intelligent lad and for him a grammar school was a good option. As it was, the pressure got to him on the day of the exam and he didn't make the grade. I was happy for him in a weird way. It would have been a sad existence for him if he was always struggling to keep up at a grammar school.

 

What Chard said above about the parents is true. We have some friends with an intelligent but mischievous son. The father works long hours in the City and the mother has two other boys to share her time with too. They struggle to get the lad to tow the line, mainly because they are too wishing washy with him. Anyway they came over the other week saying that they are thinking about private school for this lad because the private system will "whip him into shape".

Edited May 3, 2012 by ME

[Billy.]

Not true, everyone is born with a brain, depends how you use it.

 

Edit, I wasn't criticising your post, I was reiterating your words

 

If your kid isn't academic, why force them through a type of schooling they wouldn't enjoy?

 

Whilst everyone is born with a brain, some people like to use theirs to learn as much as possible and become more and more intelligent, or others have only one interest in life and are thick as **** at everything else. You might think the latter is a bad thing, but I bet you half the footballers these days wouldn't do well academically - they grew up thinking about one thing and one thing only.

Edited May 3, 2012 by Billy.

[fuzzypigeon]

Ok I will add something else to this then, I have 2 kids aged 10 (I'm her step dad) and 3 I've been with my mrs nearly 5 years I've always told her the school the eldest goes to is f.....king useless and I want her out of there! We went looking at the private school for both, but the difference in ability is unbelievable between my eldest and students of the same age at the private school, so I have said to my mrs now her eyes have been opened to how bad the eldest's school is for education, I won't put her there as it will knock her confidence something terrible and do more harm than good! And I will arrange for extra tuition at our house for the eldest. This is causing quite a bit of friction on her side of the family (all of them are lazy useless lowlifes) telling my mrs that I can't do for 1 and not the other, but they have also been saying things to her along the lines of who do you think you are, why are you trying to be someone your not etc which really annoyed me, I lost my temper with them and told them if I want their opinion I'll ask otherwise stay out of our business. I may have even told them what I think of them all which didn't go down too well, I told them that they were lazy useless scumbags who didn't deserve to know our kids because although the kids love them, they do nothing but slate anything we try and do for them! And that cancer was too good for them! Admittedly that didn't go down too well, but going back to education I want them to have the best possible education and they won't get it where we are at the moment the mrs won't move away from her family so private education is the only option for my youngest in my eyes, the eldest will get extra tuition and we are looking at a secondary school 15 miles away which has a better reputation and success rate. My question to you guys is what would you do? How would you move forward?

[Fuji Shooter]

I could not afford to send ours to private school but we sold our house and purchased the only one we could afford in the local catchment of the best school in the area. its way too small but no he is in we can move again.

 

It looks like he will end up at Lipa or Bimm so will end up paying in the long run.

[Canis]

I went to the cheapest private school in christendom from kindergarden to A level retakes(believe its now about £7k per year) and to do it my mother sacrificed to provide it to the extent that she chose to spend my fathers child support on my education and live in social housing.

 

I admit i had to learn very young that yes most of the kids around me would have more money splashed on them and as such learn't young that the world isn't fair, but i also quickly realised that the kids who where getting the most "things" didn't seem to get to do much with their parents (what we'd now think of as quality time).

 

If all you where bothered about was qualifications then you where undoubtedly better off in the top stream of the local comp, they also had facilities that my school could only dream about. My school was more interested in ensuring that you where a well rounded individual with excellent social and leadership skills who was capable of taking the world by the balls than mere accademic qualifications!

 

I've a friend who was messed up by being sent to boarding school, equally I've a friend who's parents could have afforded private education but spent the money on expensive holidays and sent him and his sister to the local comp; both my friend and his sister are completely lacking in social/leadership skills.

 

Would i send any future Canis offspring to a private school- yes i would, **** knows how i would pay for it mind you! I wouldn't expect it to produce better exam results but i would expect it to be worthwhile in other ways.

[Drayman]

Private schools are notoriously good for heping kids with dyslexia etc

 

I'll just add the counter to that from leafy Surrey. My wife has been a teacher in the state system for a long time and her school has a reputation for working with children with all forms of learning problems within normal classes. They also pick up the one's that the private lot are failing. The best bit is that when the parents go along to private schools for interviews or viewing they are told, "we aren't sure we have the facilities to best meet the needs of your child". It is selection and discrimination by another name, not of course, that it is never admitted. She has loads of examples of kids who were struggling in a private school through poor teaching, and are now flourishing in a state school.

As has been said, your child's education is a meld between them, the school and their teachers. What works for one will not work for another. Never assume that paying for an education gets you a better education - it just gets you something different. A good school is a good school, but it's only good if it works for your child. Our kids went to state school. In hindsight I would have liked a better school, but it could have been state or private. Both have gone on to Uni, both are well rounded and others speak highly of them - I can't ask for much more.

 

To my mind, the question should never be State or Private? It should be "what does my child need, what will make them flourish, and what's the best place to do that?"

[Thunderbird]

Well said

[Chard]

You can stack as many chips as you like on your shoulders, boys and girls, but you won't be convincing me that yer average sink comprehensive is doing anybody's kids any favours.

 

Generally speaking, private education works out better, because the don't put up with ***** and if you can't keep up, it is suggested that you leave and try something more "suitable"

 

My lad is currently in the process of choosing subjects for A level and there's one or two of them there that are getting a shock, now that they're finding that their "OK" GCSE passes aren't good enough to even get accepted into the 6th form. :o

[Billy.]

You can stack as many chips as you like on your shoulders, boys and girls, but you won't be convincing me that yer average sink comprehensive is doing anybody's kids any favours.

 

 

Take my schooling for example: I hated school, as did the vast majority of kids. However, I just didn't want to do it and it was clear from the way that the teachers gave me chance after chance that I just wasn't academic.

 

A lot of kids will take schooling as a challenge and try their best to succeed. These will grow up to be hard working people who enjoy going to work and taking on life's challenges.

 

I sit here now, at my desk, tabs in Chrome left to right - Google, Reed, Gizmodo, Uncrate, PW, Ted Baker, Twitter, Facebook. My bosses are out and I literally have my feet on the desk. That's the ethos I've had through life and no matter how many times I get a telling off from the boss, I just do enough work to keep my head above water. Same with school.

 

My boss could sit me down and say "you need to do this this and this tomorrow." I'll do it, but not much more than that.

 

So in short, if you chuck a load of money at your kids' education and they don't want to succeed, then you're wasting your money.

 

Parkinson's Law sort of sums me up: "Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion"

 

TL;DR: I'm lazy

[hitclays]

If you can afford it and your happy with the school selected then go for it.Our two girls attend a private school,it has not always been easy financially but in our opinion worth while.

[Mungler]

Yeah but early doors life development parents don't hope for their children to be lazy

 

I don't know many lazy people. People snap out of lazy when they have a mortgage to pay, bills to meet and school fees to cough for

[Billy.]

I don't know many lazy people. People snap out of lazy when they have a mortgage to pay, bills to meet and school fees to cough for

 

I have rent to pay, bills to meet and drinking to do. I just budget accordingly Kids... Well, that's another expense on its own.

[Blackstone]

Grammar school educated, and was probably the best thing after private...

[ME]

So in short, if you chuck a load of money at your kids' education and they don't want to succeed, then you're wasting your money.

 

All my school reports from a young age said "has the ability if he can be bothered to apply himself". I have now adopted this as a mantra for life.

 

My private school education came to an end when my Dad said "are you going to work at private school or muck around at a state school?". I was honest in my answer and went to state school to muck around - everyone was happy!.

 

Private school is not a substitute for good parenting and it doesn't work if the child doesn't want to work.

Edited May 3, 2012 by ME

[Drayman]

We have some really good private schools in Surrey... but we also have some where the kids are thick as ****. But no matter what the school, the parents all love to say, "we send our kids to private school!"

 

It doesn't matter if the sign on the gate says "State, Private, Grammar, Home or Approved" it's what's on the other side of the gate that counts and whether it will suit your kids.

 

And no, no chips on my shoulder - State primary, Grammar Secondary, University, Oxford Doctorate, Post Doctorate, 21 years senior corporate, now my own Ltd company.

 

The biggest challenge for parents is to find out what really goes on in the school and whether it's right for your kids. It's a tough choice and you want to do your best.

 

And if there's a spelling mistake following all that education - am I bovverd!

[mudpatten]

I`m mildly surprised to hear that private schools appear to have turned into educational hothouses, something that they were not in the distant past when I attended school.

 

The nearest private school to me when I attended secondary school was Eton. Us grammar school erks often met up with snot nosed Eton penguins at competitive rowing events but I have no recollection of any of them ,and there were some right malingerers amongst them,being sent down for not having any academic ability.Being thick or lazy, or both,was proof positive that daddy was loaded and was,to them, a symbol of one`s social position.

 

That was the whole point of a private school. A well rounded education to produce a well rounded young adult.Educational success was a bonus and the cash spent by the parent on an idiot was as welcome to the school coffers as fee`s spent on a genius.

 

My how times have changed.

 

Edit. the point I almost forgot to make is that the key to success in life is`nt what you know, but whom!

 

Something that private schools were very good at promoting.

 

If you`re looking to go private and find that comment hard to stomach then I respectfully suggest that you forget private education and employ a home tutor for extra cramming.

Edited May 3, 2012 by mudpatten

[elgreco]

Local catholic comp to Christ college Cambidge studying astro physics. My boy has done me proud! And now I'm paying for it! Granted he's a gifted lad but I truly belive you get out what your prepared to put in at school

Cheers

Tom

[Kes]

This decision is often a parents worst nightmare for all the reasons given. Start with Shropshire Lad's view - the child is the key and most important thing. Will they LIKE the environment, can they COPE with others having more money and all that goes with that. Finally can you cope in the car park ? Our daughter went to a well known private school and did the best possible academically as she is driven to know - everything. Our son would (I thought) have ended up a mess in that sort of environment and went to state school. Mungler is however correct that state schools educational attainment levels only seem to be for those who are below average so that they can be 'salvaged' and saved from the terror of competition.

 

I remember our 'interview' with the head for a placement at the private school - there were two big chairs and one small chair overlooked by the heads big chair. I wanted to explain that we were looking for our daughter to benefit and flourish and not to be ordered to learn.

I sat in the small chair, daughter sat next to her mum.

I hope the head understood from that my view that not all kids or parents are the same.

For our daughter, she's now honours degree qualified and heading for a doctorate, speaks a bit of japanese (learnt in her spare time)etc., etc. She is however incredibly frustrated by the current lack of real opportunity so she'll be abroad soon. I honestly think she would have done well in a state school - but as well?

 

Son will be with us for ever, I think, but he's hardworking, doing a foundation degree in agriculture and time may change that.

 

No decision making process is foolproof. If you start with the childs needs and capabilities, make sure the school is worth your childs time and effort, I dont think you'll go far wrong.

Remember always that if the pressure of paying the fees changes you or your wife's enjoyment of life, it will affect your kids and that damage may be worse than the possible educational benefits.

 

Make you decision and stick to it (at least to 16 )and blame no-one but yourself for the consequences, share the credit only between you two !.

[Hamster]

Nobody has yet mentioned the main advantage of private education, you find out very early whether you like being touched by a raving homosexual headmaster. :lol:

[Blunderbuss]

Mixed feelings on this. I went to a rubbish comp in a rough area which I left at 16 (Blacon High School if any Cheshire people know it). Local lefty council had shut all the grammars so that wasn't an option. Any attempt to work or achieve anything was resented and the place was ruled by losers and no hopers who pulled everyone down and I couldn't wait to leave. Anything I've achieved in life has been in spite of, not because of that **** hole.

 

Which is why I sent my kids to private school. Before they went they were schooled in the state sector in Scotland, Northern Ireland and London, and in military run schools in Cyprus and Germany . Though they were both bright kids, they were doomed to relive my experience by being ignored by teachers too busy dealing with bad behaviour and being social workers. The moment we put them in private school they thrived. For me the biggest thing it gave them was self confidence, a real belief in themselves, oh and some pretty good grades. My daughter is now a practising vet, and my son is heading towards a good History degree. Makes my cycling proficiency certificate look a bit lame!

 

I do have some ethical concerns about it. I think it is unfair that the size of your parent's bank balance should determine if you get a good education or not. But life's unfair and I'm afraid ethics go out of the window when it comes to doing right by your own kids.

 

Best money I ever spent, I'd do it again in a heartbeat

Edited May 3, 2012 by Blunderbuss

[Blackstone]

Local catholic comp to Christ college Cambidge studying astro physics. My boy has done me proud! And now I'm paying for it! Granted he's a gifted lad but I truly belive you get out what your prepared to put in at school

Cheers

Tom

Big congrats to him, Cambridge's natural sciences course is second to none

[elgreco]

Big congrats to him, Cambridge's natural sciences course is second to none

Thanks, he has really worked hard and is in second year now. Although he finds it hard work he understands the difference of my 'hard work' and his (mines more manual than brain. And he much prefers his type of hard work!

Tom

Edited May 3, 2012 by elgreco