Frenchieboy Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 First off, if the Mods think this would be better in another section could they please move it accordingly. I am a bit "miffed" at the moment! I was out after a troublesome fox the other day when my brother (Who had just got back from 2 months on Australia) phoned. Now my wife and I have always got on extremely well with my brother and his wife but it seems that the relationship between us is now changing a bit. He had a chat with my wife about his holiday and "this, that and the other" and then asked if I was in. My wife said sorry no, he has gone out to try to deal with a fox that has been causing problems with a farmer's poultry"! This brought out a different side of him, a side that my wife had never seen before. He started on about how I should not be going out shooting foxes "and other living creatures" and if farmers took better care of their livestock and land (Fencing etc) then the foxes would not trouble them. My wife tried explaining that it wasn't a case of farmers not using adequate fencing etc, it was a case of keeping vermin and pests down to manageable levels in order to maintain a balance of nature! (That is roughly how I have explained things to her in the broadest sence, and the way that she understands me) She also told him that he should know that I was not the sort of person that would go out and shoot a fox, or anything else for that matter, unless it was for a reason. My brother would not have this and really wanted to argue the point saying that the animals were here before we were so they had a right to live on the land without "trigger happy clowns like me" going out and blasting seven bales of **** out of them, and that the farmers should not let their livestock out unprotected if they did not want foxes troubling them. My wife said, "what about free range poultry farmers then, don't they have a right to protect their poultry from foxes"? His answer to this was that they should put up better fences or keep their poultry indoors. All in all my wife found this quite frustrating coming from someone that was brought up in a farming community and eventually gave up and said that he should take his issues up with me and not "have a go at her"! When I got home Marlene told me what had happened so after a cuppa I phoned my brother up. I asked him what the problem was and why he had been having a bit of a go at Marlene and not taking the problem (If there was one) up with me. He went through it all again and would not budge even when I said "What about the fact that foxes have been known to climb fences to get at poultry and have been witnessed attacking ewes while they were giving birth and so on. All he would say was things like that were in the imagination of the people who claim to have seen it and that I had no right to shoot innocent creatures. We ended up getting nowhere and frustrated with each other to the point that we have not spoken since. I think the world of my brother and I value my relationship with him - I am much closer to him that I am with any other member of our family. I don't know what has changed him in such a short space of time - He was not too bad about my shooting till he went to Australia gor his holiday and I don't want our relationship to deteriorate. Have any of you had to face this sort of problem with a relation and if so how have you dealt with it please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blunderbuss Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Wow Frenchie that's a tough one :( My wife tolerates my shooting, but would probably rather I didn't. Though she at least recognises that meat I source through shooting is higher welfare than most supermarket stuff. My mum is also quite anti and we've had a few skirmishes over it. I've tried to explain but I don't think she'll ever understand or accept it. Our solution is not really to talk about it! Dunno if that will work with your brother? Could you ask him why his views on this have suddenly become more vehement? Is his wife behind it, or is it something he saw in Oz? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mpk Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 (edited) My mums a vegatarian and a raving anti, her house is like doctor doo littles paradise ! My dad and grandad have always shot and i got into it a bit later because of her.We constantly argue about this subject but i try to explain the balance also would it be ok to eat meat from tesco as the death of an animal is diluted in the nice shiny well marketed packaging..........personnaly the best thing you can do in my experience is to agree to disagree ? Does your brother still eat meat? If so he is doing exactly the same as us and advocating the killing of animals! I used to reference the food chain to as she would bring up the "nature has its way" and try to explain that humans taking a harvestable surplus is the same thing. Just try not get into massive arguments and hopefully over time it will ease a little and you just wont talk about that "subject" Goodluck Edited June 10, 2012 by mpk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crosshair Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 A tough one, especially as it's a family member. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchieboy Posted June 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I have to agree with both of your comments. With regards to Blunderbuss, it is in deed a difficult one as I do not want my relationship with my brother to deteriorate but I will not stand by and let anyone have a bit of a go at my wife for something that I am doing! We haven't spoken since but I am willing to make the first move to try to clear the air and phone him this evening. In answer to you "mpk", yes he does till eat meat and recognises that animals are bread to supply meat for us to eat. This is not his argument, what he is saying is that I have no right to go out shooting foxes and rabbits etc when as far as he is prepared to see all they are doing is trying to exist naturally! Unfortunately, because of the way we both are I doubt if either of us are prepared to "agree to disagree" as we both tend to stand firmly on what we believe in! (The ironic thing is that when he was younger he too used to go out vermin shooting!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunderbird Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Aha. A case of the evangical reformed. Have you tried explaining that us humans are part of nature and not separate from it, therefore it's 'in our nature' to hunt meat and protest livestock. And yes, I have an auntie who's an anti. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vmaxphil Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 not a woman involved here by any chance ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dekers Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 He is welcome to his views as are you, why is it that HE should be right? This world is full of people intent on thrusting their view on others, where is the tolerance and understanding? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeredup Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 thats a tough one! if he used to shoot when he was younger some thing has recently changed his views on this past time? he hasn't took to wearing womens clothing as well has he?? :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave1979 Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 get him and his missus rnd for a family meal...and serve him up a plate of boiled veg..whilst producing a big piece of venison that you recently shot on yours and your wifes plate!!! see how long before he wants some of your bounty!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchieboy Posted June 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 thats a tough one! if he used to shoot when he was younger some thing has recently changed his views on this past time? he hasn't took to wearing womens clothing as well has he?? :blink: No, I suspect that he is just as "macho" as you are my friend! He's just retired as a long distance lorry driver, he is an ex-boxer (And was quite a good one at that) - Not someone you might want to pick a fight with or would likely find wearing "fancy clothes" dancing in a night club! I want to get the "problem" sorted so please try to keep any replies sensible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuC Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I had a similar debate with the barman the other week in my local. We just agreed to disagree. I did manage to convince him that it wasn't 'just nature doing it's course' as humans have created these enclosures for livestock etc etc. I don't think in the natural world 1000 chickens would evolve, lock themselve in a fenced enclosure and wait for Mr Foxy. Mr barman turned out to be anti anyone with money and a Range Rover and associated all shooters with this opinion. Good luck with your bro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeredup Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 No, I suspect that he is just as "macho" as you are my friend! He's just retired as a long distance lorry driver, he is an ex-boxer (And was quite a good one at that) - Not someone you might want to pick a fight with or would likely find wearing "fancy clothes" dancing in a night club! I want to get the "problem" sorted so please try to keep any replies sensible! appologies was trying to look at this in a light hearted way, it sounds quite strange that some one who used to shoot vermin and not previously complain about your shooting activities to suddenly change their views after a trip to Austrailia. i know my sister and also a friends wife are very anti hunting and i have had some "interesting" conversations about it bt they have always had that view and just come to that conclusion recently. My wife seriously dislikes guns of any form and refuses to come out to the clay ground with me but she has no problems with me going shooting or eating game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WelshLamb Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Have a few friends who are anti, they don't have a go at me about it though. Did you get the fox tho Frenchie?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sako751sg Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Very lucky here as nobody really objects to it and realises its for good in the bigger picture and nobody passes up the offer of a free meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rizzini Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Go and give him a smack ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpentermark Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Some of my family are quite religious, well i say "quite" religious....... two Nuns and a Catholic Missionary who used to work for the Pope! I've had a few run-ins with them over the existence, or non existence in my view, of a higher power and it turns into an unwinnable situation, as when i make a valid point regarding i.e the unrealistic Ark or Adam and Eve Vs (scientifically proven) evolution they say the stories are there for "interpretation"! When i argue how can God let all the suffering in the world happen, children starving to death etc i get "it's the work of the Devil"! and when i start over Cancer and family members dieing early i get "he works in mysterious ways, and every thing happens for a reason"!!!!!! What i'm getting at is, if your brother is so absolutely brainwashed to the idea that hunting is wrong? you will NEVER change his views! My advice would be to agree to disagree, set some boundaries, and agree to never discuss it again. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bagsy Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Agree to disagree and put the matter to bed. No point in arguing or trying to change his mind, go for a pint and talk about kangaroos and religion instead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poontang Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Agree to disagree and put the matter to bed. No point in arguing or trying to change his mind, go for a pint and talk about kangaroos and religion instead That would be a good time to slip into the conversation that his beer would be dearer if we didn't control the pigeons feeding on the barley that goes to make it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunderbird Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 That would be a good time to slip into the conversation that his beer would be dearer if we didn't control the pigeons feeding on the barley that goes to make it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albertan_J Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Married to one! Lucky for me she just say tolerates it but doesn't make it easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Agree to disagree and put the matter to bed. No point in arguing or trying to change his mind, go for a pint and talk about kangaroos and religion instead We have quite a few friends that are against shooting wild creatures, fortunately our friendship does not rely on us having exactly the same beliefs and interests. I don't preach to them and they don't preach to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grasshopper Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I think he crossed the line when he had a rant at your wife,she 's the 1 who's family now.You made that choice when you married and set up home with her. Give him the chance to live and let live,but if he insists on going on with his "new found" views,then maybe it's time to simply say you'll always be there for him,but until he learns to respect your way of life and family,it's best he doesn't get in touch until he can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livefast123 Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 (edited) The mother in law is a complete anti and a complete nightmare. I went out clay shooting with the bother in law and my Mrs uncle and on arriving back at MY house she tried to tell me to take all the guns outside to be cleaned as they are so dangerous. She also tries to tell my daughter to keep away from guns and always tries to take my daughter out of the room whenever a gun is out for whatever reason or there is gun talk. I only keep it buttoned for the sake of my Mrs, but the time is fast approaching when we will be having words. Autrailia is a beautiful place full of animals, maybe that and a woman are involved in his change of heart. As said your Mrs is your family now and if he can't respect your views or at least keep it buttoned then he no longer needs to be part of your life. It sounds too late as he is already talking like a brainwashed anti. Edited June 10, 2012 by Livefast123 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeredup Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I think he crossed the line when he had a rant at your wife,she 's the 1 who's family now.You made that choice when you married and set up home with her. Give him the chance to live and let live,but if he insists on going on with his "new found" views,then maybe it's time to simply say you'll always be there for him,but until he learns to respect your way of life and family,it's best he doesn't get in touch until he can. Wise words! easier said than done but wise non the less Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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