mel b3 Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 (edited) I know that none of you will believe me , but I've finally found out how to make a woman happy FACT !. Following covid , we'd both agreed to donate white blood cells (I think that's pretty standard). Well , when my good lady had the call , she answered all of the questions, and all was well until they got to the question of height and weight , the conclusion was that she's too small and doesn't have enough bulk (she's about 7 stone) , she heard " you're not fat enough , you're too thin " . So the fat old chocolate munching bloater has been walking around for two days , with a huge grin on her face , it's like she's won the lottery. The effects are truly amazing, even my witty yet loving comments like " hey fatty , where's my tea" and " do you want me to Jack you up to get your shoes on " aren't raising a scowl. I've decided that for future Christmas and birthdays , all she'll be getting is a , congratulations you're thin , card .😅 I thought it only right and proper , to share this amazing discovery with the gentlemen of the watch. Please don't abuse this new power👍. Edited February 8, 2021 by mel b3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 She is the Syd Little to your Eddie LARGE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellors Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 10 minutes ago, mel b3 said: I know that none of you will believe me , but I've finally found out how to make a woman happy FACT !. Following covid , we'd both agreed to donate white blood cells (I think that's pretty standard). Well , when my good lady had the call , she answered all of the questions, and all was well until they got to the question of height and weight , the conclusion was that she's too small and doesn't have enough bulk (she's about 7 stone) , she heard " you're not fat enough , you're too thin " . So the fat old chocolate munching bloater has been walking around for two days , with a huge grin on her face , it's like she's won the lottery. The effects are truly amazing, even my witty yet loving comments like " hey fatty , where's my tea" and " do you want me to Jack you up to get your shoes on " aren't raising a scowl. I've decided that for future Christmas and birthdays , all she'll be getting is a , congratulations you're thin , card .😅 I thought it only right and proper , to share this amazing discovery with the gentlemen of the watch. Please don't abuse this new power👍. Do you think they could ring mine. Since Christmas she's had us on every daft diet you can think of. Every time I go out it's straight to local drive through. Almost on first name terms there now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 50 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: She is the Syd Little to your Eddie LARGE! Steady up slim 😅. I'm so thin I could wear a straw 😊. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 43 minutes ago, mellors said: Do you think they could ring mine. Since Christmas she's had us on every daft diet you can think of. Every time I go out it's straight to local drive through. Almost on first name terms there now. I have a cunning stunt , that will make me rich . I could invent the " your thin" app , men could secretly download it onto their wife's phone , and the app could constantly tell them that they're thin , I just need to try to understand what an app actually is . We've eaten more junk food over the last three weeks (whilst ill) , than we have over the last five years . Her good self has even ordered macdonalds breakfasts while we were laying in bed 😳. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 Has Lin stopped eating chocolate? If so I am worried! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellors Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 4 minutes ago, mel b3 said: I have a cunning stunt , that will make me rich . I could invent the " your thin" app , men could secretly download it onto their wife's phone , and the app could constantly tell them that they're thin , I just need to try to understand what an app actually is . We've eaten more junk food over the last three weeks (whilst ill) , than we have over the last five years . Her good self has even ordered macdonalds breakfasts while we were laying in bed 😳. Reckon there's money to be made with that kind of phone service. Must say those double big macs were good. Delivery could be a bit awkward though 😊. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dodgy dave Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 she might have another man you never know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 10 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: Has Lin stopped eating chocolate? If so I am worried! No , she's stopped eating everything else so that she can just eat chocolate 😅. She tries not to have chocolate in the house because she just can't resist it. 9 minutes ago, mellors said: Reckon there's money to be made with that kind of phone service. Must say those double big macs were good. Delivery could be a bit awkward though 😊. Delivery is easy with the just eat thingy . They just knock your door and leave it on your step . She even ordered some cake things the other night. 7 minutes ago, dodgy dave said: she might have another man you never know She's too lazy 😅. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 That is a relief! Please give her my best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 13 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: That is a relief! Please give her my best wishes. Will do dave 👍. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldypigeonpopper Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 Hello, I would say to Lin well done , nothing wrong with 7 stone 👍, I think that is nonsense those saying that to an extent I would say, Forget it, !!!!, Do the NHS say there is an obesity crisis every where I go so many ladies are overweight, including some in the NHS, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 26 minutes ago, oldypigeonpopper said: Hello, I would say to Lin well done , nothing wrong with 7 stone 👍, I think that is nonsense those saying that to an extent I would say, Forget it, !!!!, Do the NHS say there is an obesity crisis every where I go so many ladies are overweight, including some in the NHS, You're joking Gordon, she's a right fat lump , I have to roll her to bed every night 😅. For those that don't know us . She's not fat , she's tiny ,I am fat though . We both enjoy the craic , and that's why the mickey taking is ok . She is really really fat though , and I'll be showing her this thread later , and I'll be pointing out that TIGHTCHOKE said that she was like a fat baby elephant, but then deleted his post 😅. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 Go for it. She knows who buys the chocolate and it isn't you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 13 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: Go for it. She knows who buys the chocolate and it isn't you! i told her that ditchman had hand delivered them for her , wearing his tuxedo and driving an aston martin . come to think of it , their was mention of another man , and i did notice a few greasy fingerprints on her huge undercrackers , i reckon the norfolk james bond might be popping round when im out shooting . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dodgy dave Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 yes mate you wanna watch that ditchman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 1 hour ago, mel b3 said: i told her that ditchman had hand delivered them for her , wearing his tuxedo and driving an aston martin . come to think of it , their was mention of another man , and i did notice a few greasy fingerprints on her huge undercrackers , i reckon the norfolk james bond might be popping round when im out shooting . But you are NEVER out shooting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted February 8, 2021 Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 My mrs would be thin if she was 7'8". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2021 8 minutes ago, walshie said: My mrs would be thin if she was 7'8". thats terrible , i would never utter a fatist remark like that about my rotund good lady. pw could do with a fat wives section . us thin blokes could go there to moan about never getting any biscuits because our fat wives ate them first . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.R.P. Posted February 9, 2021 Report Share Posted February 9, 2021 Mel,you dont know when you are well off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted February 10, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2021 8 hours ago, A.R.P. said: Mel,you dont know when you are well off. How's it going Alan. She's the lucky one mate , managing to land a catch like me 😅😅😅. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted February 10, 2021 Report Share Posted February 10, 2021 On 08/02/2021 at 17:46, mel b3 said: thats terrible , i would never utter a fatist remark like that about my rotund good lady. pw could do with a fat wives section . us thin blokes could go there to moan about never getting any biscuits because our fat wives ate them first . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loriusgarrulus Posted February 10, 2021 Report Share Posted February 10, 2021 4 hours ago, mel b3 said: How's it going Alan. She's the lucky one mate , managing to land a catch like me 😅😅😅. It must of nearly broke her arms. 😚 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discobob Posted February 10, 2021 Report Share Posted February 10, 2021 19 minutes ago, loriusgarrulus said: It must of nearly broke her arms. 😚 She used one of these Only bigger 🤣 and I am the pot calling....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted February 10, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2021 5 hours ago, loriusgarrulus said: It must of nearly broke her arms. 😚 How very dare you madam , you know how sensitive I am about these delicate matters 😅😅😅. 5 hours ago, discobob said: She used one of these Only bigger 🤣 and I am the pot calling....... It would need one of those , plus scaffolding to catch me😅. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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