Paul in North Lincs. Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 (edited) I have just been in a meeting at an empty warehouse with my client (the vendor) and potential investors. Now these 3 were your sterio typical snobby types, and one very well groomed lady in her 30's with a look of Chatherine Zita Jones...... absolutely drop dead!......turned up in a new Bently of all things....................you can picture the sort All was going well.......until I dropped my pen. I bent down to pick it up, and accidently blew out a f*rt, that was loud enough rival concords sonic boom...... clearly last nights Valentines squid and sea weed starter was the cause. Naturally this resinated throughout the empty warhouse making it 10 times louder........and that was the moment when I wished I could turn into an ant an scurry away. I said nothing...and could feel my cheeks buring with ebarrasment.....as the pinstripes blankly started at me .....with Catherine Zita looking on in discust........... did I feel a **** or what Anyway I've since recovered from this horrific ordeal...and wondered what your embarrasing moments were...... Im man enough to talk about em....are you? Edited February 15, 2008 by Paul in North Lincs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harv Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 serves you right for trying "drop the pen and look up her skirt trick" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulkyuk Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 Thats made my day - well done Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hodmedod.one Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 A golden moment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Millomite Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 Unlucky mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chard Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 :lol: :lol: ****-tastic - Wish I had been a fly on the wall. There's something about farting that always sets me off giggling like a schoolboy, even though I'm 50-odd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyjaimz Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 (edited) Nice one paul! I used to get embarressed by my mother telling anyone that would listen (including potential girlfriends) that I was the only child out of 4 that she breast-fed, now I just put up with it as one her little quirks Edited February 15, 2008 by monkeyjaimz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSA Shaun Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 I hope it smelt, or it really wasn't worth the embarassment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaniel Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 Excellent...did she give you her number Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul65 Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 Yeah, if that was me I'd want them to be gagging so at least we all suffered. I've not done anything like that but I've been on the flip side of someone's embarrassment. I had a new female boss, slightly older than me, fairly attractive but cool. During our first 'one-to-one' weekly meeting we were both sat in tall chairs facing each other beside a low table. She put a document on the table and leaned lightly on it to point to a line on the document. The table was unstable and flipped over, causing her to fall between my legs, face first into my crotch. She couldn't get her arms placed to lift herself back for what seemed like an eternity. As an added bonus, as she was sprawled there struggling, her skirt rode up revealing a flash of her bare thighs above the tops of her stockings (hold-ups I think). She turned scarlet, I was unavoidably grinning. It was all I could do to stop myself saying 'While you're down there...' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benelli 1 Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 Mate I know how you feel... I let one slip once while in a restaurant having a posh meal, everyone stopped eating and looked at me ...I felt like a right *** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vole Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 Relax!! That guff probably sealed the deal as research has PROVEN that bowel gas contains pheromones.So a female might outwardly show disgust,and may even gag if its a real potent one,but inwardly she wants IT. I made more than one conquest by dropping the odd subtle squeaker. You should be applauded. Personally though, I was told by a very attractive girl I,d worked with I,d done an 8 hr shift with a bogie on my face.Ended up going out with her though. Women like pigs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham M Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 http://glumbert.com/wii/view.php?name=surpriseparty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 None of us are going to post our most embarrassing moments.......................we are just going to laugh at yours. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthorn Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 paul that was the best laugh i have had all day, and i cant think of any thing that has embarrased me, not even my spelling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 Nothing to rival that, but I did put my foot in it when we were given free air show tickets years ago. Cellnet gave mrs stuartp 4 free tickets that included free lunch with guests. We sat down to our meal and a bloke in red boiler suit asked if he could join us. I asked if he was a mechanic, and he said "no, I am Red One, the lead pilot with the Red Arrows" Turned out Cellnet sponsored them at the time, and part of the deal they had to mingle with the general public at these shows Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charliem658 Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 i actually laughed out loud in my living room you must have fealt like such a ****head charlie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 Relax!! That guff probably sealed the deal as research has PROVEN that bowel gas contains pheromones.So a female might outwardly show disgust,and may even gag if its a real potent one,but inwardly she wants IT. I made more than one conquest by dropping the odd subtle squeaker. You should be applauded. Personally though, I was told by a very attractive girl I,d worked with I,d done an 8 hr shift with a bogie on my face.Ended up going out with her though. Women like pigs. Now where did you learn that one? ____________________ I am quite a shy person, and it doesn not take much to turn me into a tomato face. I hate it, even suprisingly meeting someone can set it off? huh? I find it a real problem when I have to do talks/presentations etc.. but im getting better. So technicly I have one embarassing moment every couple of days, and they are never nice but im slowly learning to just not care about it, and if somone makes a comment I just be honest about it, instead of trying to cover it up (only gets worse). I have this due to growing up alone, running about hunting in the woods alone/building camps alone etc.. so I geuss I just dont (in my mind) know how to deal with certain people situations, and blush up. Anoying, and has put me off dates/giving presentations and is currently the only thing holding me back from wanting to join the police, as I know I will be in many confrontations. Still though, I have had some geuine embarrasing moments, doing a solo trumpet conceart with my fly undone and only finding out after my white undies where very visible, recently in Romania, I was carrying a small Christmas tree through a park, and the foot paths were covered in ice. So I was sliding along with the tree under my arm, and land on my behind after trying to look smart Always horrible at the time and you want to crawl under a rock, but always a great laugh when its all passed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vole Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 Its not only proven fact but etched in poetic folklore.. " Where,ere you May be Let youre Winde go free In Church or Chapel Let it rattle,Better let it Out In Shame Than Keepe it in and Make you Lame" Theres the proof.I rest my case.A certain Frenchman made a good living out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamC Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 So I have had many embarassing moments, and not afriad to telly you lot and make a fool of myself. A few years ago, myself and the no Mrs AdamC went food shopping after work on a Friday. I hate food shopping and find it a struggle to keep my temper, so would try and make it a bit more fun. I use to walk forward and support my weight with my arms and roll forward.... childish? Yes! But is gets worse. On this one Friday, they had changed the trollys and the centre of gravity must have been different. The Mrs had gone wandering off, so I got a lick of speed up and went to support my weight. At that moment, it became immediatly obvious that was not going to happen. The back of the trolly dipped as I started to head southwards. After a few awkward steps trying to rectify the situation, down I went! There I was sliding along the floor on my stomach, still holding the trollly.... I slid right past the wife. What a ***! I jumped to my feet fearing the worst, but to my amazement I got away without being seen... the wife asked what I was doing, like there was any doubt, but she thought I was dancing! I still worry that I am going to see myself on a security video at some point! I have more, most not suitable for public airing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewis Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 So I have had many embarassing moments, and not afriad to telly you lot and make a fool of myself. A few years ago, myself and the no Mrs AdamC went food shopping after work on a Friday. I hate food shopping and find it a struggle to keep my temper, so would try and make it a bit more fun. I use to walk forward and support my weight with my arms and roll forward.... childish? Yes! But is gets worse. On this one Friday, they had changed the trollys and the centre of gravity must have been different. The Mrs had gone wandering off, so I got a lick of speed up and went to support my weight. At that moment, it became immediatly obvious that was not going to happen. The back of the trolly dipped as I started to head southwards. After a few awkward steps trying to rectify the situation, down I went! There I was sliding along the floor on my stomach, still holding the trollly.... I slid right past the wife. What a ***! I jumped to my feet fearing the worst, but to my amazement I got away without being seen... the wife asked what I was doing, like there was any doubt, but she thought I was dancing! I still worry that I am going to see myself on a security video at some point! I have more, most not suitable for public airing. aww man i was gutting myself when i just read that.. the security guards must of had a laugh, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted February 15, 2008 Report Share Posted February 15, 2008 ***** I have got loads of them Paul but wouldn't dare still you air/sorry thunder LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taz24 Posted February 16, 2008 Report Share Posted February 16, 2008 (edited) On holiday a friend of mine ran out of the sea up the beach towards two girls sunbathing near us. He had been eyeing one of them up for a few hours and plucking up the courage to speak to her he used coming out of the sea as an excuss to walk past her. He walks up to her but unknowingly he had a nose and face full of snot (from being in the sea) without realising what he was doing he wiped his nose and face and as he got to where the girl was, in one clean motion he brought his hand down from his face flicking a hand full of wet snot onto the girls belly. For about ten seconds he stood mortified at what he had just done, looking at this girl who was equaly as shocked at what had happend. He regained his composure and with all the grace he could muster he said "the names Bond, James Bond" and walked off. As he walked passed me, I was in hysterics he promptly walked to the beach bar never to venture onto the sand again that day. taz. Edited February 16, 2008 by taz24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poacher Posted February 16, 2008 Report Share Posted February 16, 2008 this is the funniest thread i've ever read keep them coming Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted February 16, 2008 Report Share Posted February 16, 2008 i actually laughed out loud in my living room you must have fealt like such a ****head charlie I had made a good start on the free booze so it hardly even registered at the time, but later on I did think I would never forget that moment - and I haven't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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