BaconBoy Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 they'll be flat out in there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death from below Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 That sauna was just around the corner from my eldest's nursery - I used to love dropping her off at the nursery then hang around outside counting how long it was before I got a pull from the local PCSO (na'h, only kidding). Anyway ME, I'm slowly using my detective skills to triangulate the whereabouts of your gaff - first the zebra, now an empty shop somehwere around Jacksons lane - you'll get a knock on the door one day to find me standing there with a semi on. :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted February 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 You dont need to be Inspector Poirot DFB. I own a freight company and have a sign written pool car on the drive. (along with all the other BIG cars) Have a look out next time you pass the Nisa shop ! :o Whenever you are on the way to the brothel your eldests nursery, pop in and have a cuppa Anyway, I am dying to see what trade this funeral directors is going to do ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy. Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 I mean, what could be worse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSS Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 Babs might get ideas about zombies if he had one nearby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death from below Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 You dont need to be Inspector Poirot DFB. I own a freight company and have a sign written pool car on the drive. (along with all the other BIG cars) Have a look out next time you pass the Nisa shop ! Whenever you are on the way to the brothel your eldests nursery, pop in and have a cuppa Anyway, I am dying to see what trade this funeral directors is going to do ! :o It's a toughy - anyway, I'm not going near the Nisa shop, there was a group of particularly nasty looking 8 year olds buying sweets there the last time I passed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight32 Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 I'll swap you ME... You can come and live next door to the raving anti shooting/hunting/men veggie lesbian I have to put up with, even in the "sitcks" ! GB Tell us more Garyb..............I mean can you see anything that makes you clarify she is lesbian? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chard Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 It could be a grave problem if they keep you up all night with their coffin Oh how we laaaaaarfed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Elvis Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 (edited) :o The only draw back will be the coming and going in the middle of the night, especially in winter collecting them for the fridge, dont forget its a 24 hour service. Also on funeral and viewing days there will be a lot of cars around. Theres also going to be a lot of etherial bodies roaming around your street ......just what ever you do DONT SAY: "DONT LOOK AT THE LIGHT"....OR THEYLL NEVER GO AWAY........................... Edited February 8, 2010 by Evil Elvis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Elvis Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 It could be worse, a friend of mine lives in the royal Tunbridge Wells area and he paid £750,000 for his house which he did not realise was 200 yards away from a crematorium, so whenever they are "cooking" and hois missus has the washing out it gets little black flecks all over it!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 That would have started a turf war. We already have one within five minutes walk >HERE< Gosh that's a rather expensive Sauna; and they seemed to be obsessed about being in a hurry or rather not being in a hurry. What's that all about? Anyways, glad to see Mrs. ME's got local job now, although I didn't realise her real name was Jessica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tungsten Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Right, anyone who follows my ramblings will know that we have just successfully stopped the local council from putting a zebra crossing smack bang outside ME Towers. Following "Zebracrossinggate", we now have a funeral directors opening in a commercial property (used to be a shop) nearly opposite our house. Some of the other residents are up in arms about it, but I can't see the problem. (circle of life and all that) I think that a funeral directors will be a nice quiet respectable business, I mean it could have been a sex shop, kebab shop or off licence... What say you PW chaps ? ALSO - Is it a coincidence that I woke up feeling a little stiff this morning ? The off licence closed next to my local, when it reopened it was a funeral directors! It only took a couple of week before the 2 for 1 meal sign on the pub car park was replaced with an advert for cheap funerals AND the funeral directors flyers and business cards appeared on the end of the bar. Just what you want when your out for a few pints. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chandelierman Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Think yourself lucky,i had a shop and flat in london (block of 12) 6 of them were converted into a "care in the community"centre where they have 42 rooms to house the nutters/alkies/druggies.....everyday WITHOUT FAIL the police and ambulance would make an attendance luckily for me i have now moved to essex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashman Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Maybe it's a New Orleans funeral home in the style of Live and Let Die... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bdohpu1ZRA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MPT1 Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Right, anyone who follows my ramblings will know that we have just successfully stopped the local council from putting a zebra crossing smack bang outside ME Towers. Following "Zebracrossinggate", we now have a funeral directors opening in a commercial property (used to be a shop) nearly opposite our house. Some of the other residents are up in arms about it, but I can't see the problem. (circle of life and all that) I think that a funeral directors will be a nice quiet respectable business, I mean it could have been a sex shop, kebab shop or off licence... What say you PW chaps ? Obviously you live in the dead center of busty. I'm surprised a new Funeral directors is opening, I thought it was a dying trade. ALSO - Is it a coincidence that I woke up feeling a little stiff this morning ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garyb Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Tell us more Garyb..............I mean can you see anything that makes you clarify she is lesbian? She's an all round man hater! won't give me the time of day, yet if the girlfriend bumps into her... she's as nice as pie! - that's enough proof for me, but she's also known to be a bit of a cat fancier, and you know what they say about women who live on their own, with several cats..... Anyway... For years she's been banging on about her "ex-husband" this, her "ex-husband that" blah blah... One day, last summer there was a knock at my door, It was **** Van Dyke from next door - asking would I mind popping round, as she had a solicitor there and needed a witness for the signature of her will... Sure enough, not 5 mins had past - before she got onto the subject of the "ex-husband" and began to rant and rave... The solicitor casually asked... "So when were you divorced" Her reply?...... 1972 !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSPUK Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 ""luckily for me i have now moved to essex"" Duh!!!!!!!!! - you sure??? :good: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imperfection Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Whats wrong with having an undertaker opposite? Think of it this way.When you die-all your other half with have to do is wait until rigomorsis has set in then lay you on a skateboard and push you across the street.Saves all the fuss having you carted away in a black zip up bag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pyr8 Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 handy guys with the wood them undertakers.if you need a new stock knocking up i bet they would oblige.think the shape would be unique along with the new carrying handles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VicW Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 I work part-time for a funeral director and one thing I've decided on is that next time around I am going to be a funeral director.You can't lose,especially at this time of the year with the cold weather.I'd like a pound a week less than my boss takes home! Another good number is to be a vet,people will spend money on their animals before they spend it on themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Can't see a problem provided they don't go around generating trade when things are a bit quiet of course you never can tell by appearances..................and of course I can't find the right clip of Mike Gunn the standup comedian/funeral director Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pyr8 Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 stepping hill hospital has two undertakers,one either side of the hospital entrance.must put the patients at ease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Matt, just think of all the "special meat" you can now get - as a "local" of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozzy Fudd Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Matt, just think of all the "special meat" you can now get - as a "local" of course. and the business rivals who can now "disappear" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Callum. Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Well: Do they keep bodies there?!??!?!: O And it'll be ok unless its like in bad boys II with the dead people full of ectasy.... but if that happens it will be eventful. And when you pass away your family won't have a long walk to see your coffin! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.