highseas Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 well my two pence worth,, i would like to think i will never have to "smack" a child,i can se how a moment of fear would cause such instant responce ie;child running in fron of car after being told to stay. but when i was young (7-13) i used to get some real and i mean real hideing`s of my mam not or my dad like most people belive but my mam, and its some thing i will never quite get over,or fully forgive her for as much as i love my mom she always has loads of rings too, i still have a couple of scares on my head as a result.... whats interesting is my stammer/stutter got realy bad at that age too. related of not i dont know, but a stern word/or shout from my dad always had a greater affect on me as he was a realy quiet man. so in a word no Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Walk up to 2 people in the street, hit one and smack the other and see if the police see any difference. :blink: what a silly statement.... it is not your responsibility, duty or privilage to 'discipline' and 'develop' those people on the street..... what you have just described common assault! Now... if you had said... walk up to 2 of your children in the street and smack one and hit the other... then, yes, the police would see a difference, as long as there was good reason for the smack. I don't think anyone would condonne walking up to perfect strangers in the street and making physical contact with them in any way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laird Lugton Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Walk up to 2 people in the street, hit one and smack the other and see if the police see any difference. :blink: Explain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
utectok Posted May 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Hey VIPA dont get ur pants in a twist you'll laugh about it one day!!! Kids eh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mad1 Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 i find the threat of not takin him out shooting does the job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 i find the threat of not takin him out shooting does the job Yeah... thought about that one... look what he can do with a crayon.... this is the one member of my tribe who I will not be encouraging into fieldsports any time soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellow Bear Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Not sure I'd be that bothered by a bit of crayon on the Walls tho nothing a tin of emulsion won't sort when u get round to it!! Don't make life to complicated I say Not getting involved in the general thread - but with respect to this "no it does not" My daughter had one of these "reasoned with" children in her peer group at school some 20+ years ago - one b'day party said child did exactly this on a newly decorated wall in the house 5 foot high and 6 foot wide. Mother was called to remove said child and the response was "oh dear, I will pay for the paint". Reply was no - you will pay for the decorators. In the end it cost 2 weeks of total disruption for us, and a re-plaster of the wall (thick wax crayon on plaster did not then paint over whatever was used). It was not the first time that this child had done this, but the "stink" that was caused as a result of his escapade with us meant the child was not invited anywhere after. I think that this may have "scarred" him far more than a slap on the legs the first time he did it rather than the mother's "oh dear """" that was naughty, why didn't you use the paper". This child was 8 at the time and knew what he was doing - he had never been disciplined for anything other than reasoned with so did whatever he liked knowing the worst to come was a "Talking to" from his mother. We were fortunate in our daughter and only had to resort once to the "stinging leg" and funnily enough it was here Gran who she adored who administered it for good reason at the age of 5. After that the threat was more than enough or even the threat to tell Gran. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Hey VIPA dont get ur pants in a twist you'll laugh about it one day!!! Kids eh! I know we will... didn't feel much like laughing about it that weekend! we have had many chuckles with friends since... what is absolutely amazing, and this has been the same with every incident, is that when he is confronted with the evidence he is absolutely gobsmacked, horrified, call it what you will... as if he had absolutely no knowledge of it, almost like a grafiti artist sleepwalker would... I think he has these little 'moments' where he is in his own little bubble and just doesn't realise what he's doing... the gravity of it only hits home when someone else points it out after the event.... I remember having the same sensation when I did things as a kid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 I don't beat my kids. I have been known to spank my monkey though, does that make me a bad man ? :unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 By the way, for anyone that is interested.... crayon + any surface = nightmare!! Answer... WD40! as long as it is a "washable" surface it is amazing... after scrubbing for hours, found that tip on interweb, went to get some and it was off in 30 seconds!.... not quite so speedy on felt tip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 I don't beat my kids. I have been known to spank my monkey though, does that make me a bad man ? :unsure: A VERY bad man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
utectok Posted May 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 By the way, for anyone that is interested.... crayon + any surface = nightmare!! Answer... WD40! as long as it is a "washable" surface it is amazing... after scrubbing for hours, found that tip on interweb, went to get some and it was off in 30 seconds!.... not quite so speedy on felt tip! Top tip!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconFN Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Explain? Clearly nobody took my post as it was intened, I was trying to add a little light-hearted response to a question and thought the comedy blinking face at the end was enough, but obviously not. The point I was (unsuccesfully) trying to make was that hitting, smacking, slapping etc are all, for want of a better word, violent acts. I am not advocating everyone should 'hug a hoodie' nor am I in the Thou Shalt Not Lay a Hand on Thine Children camp, I'm just saying that slapping/smacking kids is not my idea of good discipline as other things work as well or better. Each to their own and good luck to everyone however you choose to live. I'm sure we all love, and want the best for our kids but have diffrernt ways of doing things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
humperdingle Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) By the way, for anyone that is interested.... crayon + any surface = nightmare!! Answer... WD40! as long as it is a "washable" surface it is amazing... after scrubbing for hours, found that tip on interweb, went to get some and it was off in 30 seconds!.... not quite so speedy on felt tip! Meths or cellulose thinner for getting off permanent marker WD40 is also good for getting the bits of parking ticket off the windscreen that the missus has left behind Edited May 8, 2011 by humperdingle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconFN Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Meths for getting off permanent marker WD40 is also good for getting the bits of parking ticket off the windscreen that the missus has left behind And cheap aftershave you get from an elderly auntie at christmas works - even on gloss work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) The point I was (unsuccesfully) trying to make was that hitting, smacking, slapping etc are all, for want of a better word, violent acts. No... I think you are missing the point, and the desired result.... It is not the act of smacking itself or the child feeling threatened with an act of violence against him that is the trigger that gets the result.. The aim here is the old Pavlov's dog response... the short sharp PAIN of the smack, brief, mild and importantly, unexpected acts a little like muscle memory... the association between a stinging thigh and drawing on walls is made at a neuron level and thus, drawing on walls stops... Once he is older and capable of reasoning properly (some 3-4 year olds are, my little fellah is not yet) then we will be able to apply other methods should they be required but for now, this works when needed and to be fair it has only been needed a handful of times... please don't get the impression that he is smacked on a daily basis! Although, hardly a day goes by when he doesn't do at least one stint on the naughty stair Tell you what though.... he's a character and a great kid and even with all the grief and stress he is capable of, I wouldn't change a single thing about him.... well, apart from the drawing on grandma's caravan walls that is! Edited May 8, 2011 by Vipa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy518 Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 I dont smack my son aged 3..I find pepper spray works much better!!! Seriously, I dont mean it, before Social Services descend on me. Maybe I'm fortunate that my boy is naturally fairly good. He is no angel all the time though and I have had Crayon over the screen of our 3 week old TV. He received what he calls Daddies growly bear voice and confinement to the step for a short time. Wife wouldnt let me incarcerate him in the shed! How was he to know that you shouldnt crayon on a 2 grand TV screen??? He does now and we never resorted to physical violence, smack, tap, slap, call it what you will, it all amounts to the same. Not all kids are the same, just as no two dogs/ cats / sheep etc are either. All have different personalities and character traits. What works for one kid won't another. I won't smack my child but equally I'm not going to pillory someone else who decides that they will theirs, provided that it is proportionate and not done to excess. They know their child better than anyone else. There is no magic solution to ensure that your kids grow up to be decent people, with manners and respect for others etc Kids don't come with an instruction manual. No one gets sent on parenting classes a fortnight after conception. We have to make it up as we go along, same as our parents and theirs. Our own upbringing influences how we raise our own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconFN Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Tell you what though.... he's a character and a great kid and even with all the grief and stress he is capable of, I wouldn't change a single thing about him.... well, apart from the drawing on grandma's caravan walls that is! Same with mine, one minute you're all cuddles and laughter, next thing they're possessed by the devil. Ah, we'll miss 'em when they leave home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highseas Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 how about clicker training? it works on most animals click=treat lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 The eldest is home educated, the two youngest probably will be.. As we have access to excellent state schools in our area, I have never even considered this. And then one day I read that fortune82 is school teacher, probably the most worrying thing I have ever read on the internet :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aled Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) I am eternally gratefull to a family friend who smacked my legs in a difficult situation, had he not done so i would of been knocked over by VW Camper Van! I was smacked at a child and the only two smacks that stick out are the 2 i had which i did not deserve! Anyway i would prefer to use other types of punishment (naughty step seems to work very well on my daughter, variable with my son but on the whole he's OK) but have used it very occasionally in the past always after repeated warnings. Not something i felt good about Cheers Aled Edited May 9, 2011 by Aled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegasus bridge Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 right, i think we need a 'do you smack your wife' thread i personally chose not to, but must admit the naughty step is becoming less and less effective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devon Fox Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 right, i think we need a 'do you smack your wife' thread i personally chose not to, but must admit the naughty step is becoming less and less effective. If I have had at least 10 tins of Stella and got my best vest on I would give her a tickle! (truth is she would kick my face in lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 right, i think we need a 'do you smack your wife' thread i personally chose not to, but must admit the naughty step is becoming less and less effective. Just get an e-collar, job done B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gedney Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 You deserved physical pain?? inflicted by a parent??? REALLY??? What could make an adult feel so threatened, that they could find the need to injure a kid? We see this every day on the news, and the kneejerk gang go off on one about "lets hang the ********", yet when we do it to our own, its called discipline. Im sorry, but your generation had it wrong! There was as much bad news back then, but there was not the media to report it. 'Father beats child to death' was he only trying to teach him right from wrong? There is more than one way to skin a cat (in a non violent way mind). Many a wise man has quoted that violence breeds violence. There must be some truth in that. There is a world of difference between "Father beats child to death "and a sharp clip ,i get tired of hearing modern parents with their Ashley get here now .......right! 1..2..3..are you seriously saying todays young parents are better than years ago ,lack of disciplin in schools ,and at home and a generation on ,they hav,nt got a clue,and it will get worse .My teachers were Sir,and we didnt go around stabbing each other to death . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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