AVB Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 I work in Mayfair which, if you don't know, is one of the most expensive places on earth. A Sandwich here costs the same as a house 'up North'. For the price of a small apartment you could buy Scotland and have some spare change. Anyway I digress. Mayfair is full of art galleries. Whilst walking to get a sandwich today (I had got a mortgage out first for said sandwich) I passed one of these galleries and glanced in the window. My eyes were drawn to a nice lacquered tray containing a rolled up ball of paper. Now the tray was probably well made and the ball of paper was expertly scrunched up. I really have no idea how they got it into such a perfectly round ball. But it was still a ball of paper. Price tag - £800. Then on the way home I looked in another window. This one contained a clothes rail, you know a bog standard shop clothes rail. Hanging from the rail was a stuffed cat. God knows how much that would cost but if a ball of paper is £800 this must have been thousands. Then in the next window (same gallery) was a small wooden chair nailed to a wall about 5 feet off of the ground. Draped on chair was a scarf. How brilliant is that. Does anybody get it? Clearly somebody must as they must sell this rubbish to pay the exorbitant rent but I don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docholiday Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 Beats the hell out of me, just shows how gullible people are Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 I have a couple of clients who are accomplished artists (one with stuff hanging in the national portrait and the other churns out stuff regularly for £5k a go). My definition of what is "art" is two fold: 1. could I do it 2. did it take whoever did it, a really long time to do it (and or get good at it). Anyhoos, when I was a student in Manchester I got drunk and glued my trainers to the ceiling with evo stick - now that's art and by Mayfair prices that's £5k all day long squire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Mike Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 I did a major building contract once for a extremely well known modern artist...When we were in the pre contract meeting he asked if the indemnity level on our liability insurance was of a sufficient threshold because there were some extremely valuable pieces of art in the adjacent building...to which I replied that's a ******* matter of opinion ! He was less than impressed. I'm afraid normal people produce faeces... Modern artists produce ****. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welsh1 Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 I seized goods in an upmarket art gallery once,and we nearly left behind a wicker waste bin full of paper/cans etc,then we noticed the price tag £2700,nearly had a heart attack,i suppose it is what people will pay, and as said it looks simple but if it is why haven't you thought of doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenboy Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 The price reflects the hours of "thought process" behind the work . For instance I "thought" about my latest masterpiece for 30 seconds , so we will call it a tenner if your interested Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welsh1 Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 The price reflects the hours of "thought process" behind the work . For instance I "thought" about my latest masterpiece for 30 seconds , so we will call it a tenner if your interested Such a fantastic piece of work showing that even deep within we are part of something else, in it's simplicity it states a togetherness between opposing factions,showing that opposites can come together in unity as one. Vibrant and deep,without doubt the simple form cannot be improved upon,a pure master class of shape and form. Or, What a load of pretentious twaddle my 10 year old could do that. £10 you say,hmmmm seems to cheap for my art collection,if you had said £1000 I might have considered it an investment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenboy Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 I have no doubt a 10 year old could produce something as visually stunning as this work , but would he have spent a full 30 seconds thinking about it first ? I think the young artists among us are just to keen to "just do it" without putting in the required thinking and contemplation . As this piece seems to be below your price range perhaps I could interest you in some of my dogs work which come in more at your price band. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welsh1 Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 I have no doubt a 10 year old could produce something as visually stunning as this work , but would he have spent a full 30 seconds thinking about it first ? I think the young artists among us are just to keen to "just do it" without putting in the required thinking and contemplation . As this piece seems to be below your price range perhaps I could interest you in some of my dogs work which come in more at your price band. Animal smanimal,the trouble with animal art is they have all got on the band wagon,there's that smart ***** elephant,and let's not forget the monkey who thinks he's Picasso,the art world is flooded with em,so I think to invest in your dogs art would not be wise. P.S.,could your dog paint fences as I have a garden fence that would need doing in the near future, nothing fancy just white washed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenboy Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 Sorry he cannot help with the fence as he is just too busy preparing for his next exhibition . If you can take both pictures I could do them @ £10.50 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 Being arty I can see that these exhibits were created and displayed by a single, brilliant artist. The collection tells the story of a Butler who knocked a cat off a high chair with a ball of paper while he was hanging up clothes-the butler then "did the cat in" with the scarf. Its simple really but you need to have wasted most of your youth in a drug rich Uni and lost all touch with reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KFC Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 I have no doubt a 10 year old could produce something as visually stunning as this work , but would he have spent a full 30 seconds thinking about it first ? I think the young artists among us are just to keen to "just do it" without putting in the required thinking and contemplation . As this piece seems to be below your price range perhaps I could interest you in some of my dogs work which come in more at your price band. You Sir are a fraud. I know for a fact that your Dog got the Dog next door to produce this artwork so, impressive though it is, I would warn against anyone purchasing one of these 'original' works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old rooster Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 (edited) Not Mayfair but similar sort of thing? Edited February 11, 2014 by old rooster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 (edited) That work of Canine art is a forgery, Sir,-I know for a fact that it is the work of "Trio" the parisian 3 legged dog. Edited February 11, 2014 by bruno22rf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 I love those "I saw you coming sketches". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLuke Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 It's worth what anyone will pay for it Don't blame the artist/gallery. Blame the consumer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old rooster Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 I love those "I saw you coming sketches". Always had a chuckle at Enfields stuff but found Whitehead even funnier in his roles, the old drunk used to have me rolling about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KFC Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 That work of Canine art is a forgery, Sir,-I know for a fact that it is the work of "Trio" the parisian 3 legged dog. I too was first alerted to the fact that these works may, indeed, have been done by "Trio" the famous Parisian 3 legged Dog. However, there is something about the top right paw that is not quite "right" for a Dog that was known to be left-handed. Even that may need further investigation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matone Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 I work in Mayfair which, if you don't know, is one of the most expensive places on earth. A Sandwich here costs the same as a house 'up North'. For the price of a small apartment you could buy Scotland and have some spare change. Anyway I digress. Mayfair is full of art galleries. Whilst walking to get a sandwich today (I had got a mortgage out first for said sandwich) I passed one of these galleries and glanced in the window. My eyes were drawn to a nice lacquered tray containing a rolled up ball of paper. Now the tray was probably well made and the ball of paper was expertly scrunched up. I really have no idea how they got it into such a perfectly round ball. But it was still a ball of paper. Price tag - £800. Then on the way home I looked in another window. This one contained a clothes rail, you know a bog standard shop clothes rail. Hanging from the rail was a stuffed cat. God knows how much that would cost but if a ball of paper is £800 this must have been thousands. Then in the next window (same gallery) was a small wooden chair nailed to a wall about 5 feet off of the ground. Draped on chair was a scarf. How brilliant is that. Does anybody get it? Clearly somebody must as they must sell this rubbish to pay the exorbitant rent but I don't. I think the inference is that those of us who don`t `get it`are not intelligent enough(read -full of ****). You only have to listen to these arty types to decide who is daft ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 Sir, the National gallery website has "Trio" listed as an Ambidextrous canine artist, the son of a well know Boxer and Shih Tzu (A boxer ****) from southern France. Trio suffered an injury whilst skiing early in his career but it was to his rear right leg-this work is thus either a forgery or was created by Trio walking backwards? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 You need to watermark the examples above they could be copied and sold for a fortune. The ones I like is the "did they really do that?" I will upload a picture when I find it. My son is arty and I get some of his stuff but not others, some of it is 'technical' rather than art IMHO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krugerandsmith Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 I work in Mayfair which, if you don't know, is one of the most expensive places on earth. A Sandwich here costs the same as a house 'up North'. For the price of a small apartment you could buy Scotland and have some spare change. Anyway I digress. Mayfair is full of art galleries. Whilst walking to get a sandwich today (I had got a mortgage out first for said sandwich) I passed one of these galleries and glanced in the window. My eyes were drawn to a nice lacquered tray containing a rolled up ball of paper. Now the tray was probably well made and the ball of paper was expertly scrunched up. I really have no idea how they got it into such a perfectly round ball. But it was still a ball of paper. Price tag - £800. Then on the way home I looked in another window. This one contained a clothes rail, you know a bog standard shop clothes rail. Hanging from the rail was a stuffed cat. God knows how much that would cost but if a ball of paper is £800 this must have been thousands. Then in the next window (same gallery) was a small wooden chair nailed to a wall about 5 feet off of the ground. Draped on chair was a scarf. How brilliant is that. Does anybody get it? Clearly somebody must as they must sell this rubbish to pay the exorbitant rent but I don't. You Philistine ... Its Creative art Paintings ...... C.R.A.P ... For short ... Tracey Emin was full of it .... Her Masterpiece being ...Phoenix Rising from the Ashes. Created after a warehouse fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobbyathome Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 when i was a courier many years ago i went to the saatchi gallery in nw8 (not there anymore) we had there account and visited 10 times a day to deliver anyway i digress they had 2 tanks of black oil and a runway inbetween the oil was up to the top of the runway the idea was all the lights are off and there are spotlights every 10 feet so when you look at it in the dark all you see is lights above and the reflection makes it look like lights shining up you can smell the oil but as its dark can not see it the day i went a journalist went before me walked down the runway and looked at the lights and reflection and peered over the walkway stuffing her face into the black oil ha ha the ripples ruined the artwork for a day because it had to settle perfectly still ohhhh how i laughed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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