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"Hello Mr. ***** I am calling you today from Vindows technical dep


old rooster
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Oh golly gosh, my Vindows computer has been attacked by hackers but the technical department are on the case and going to sort it out...........

 

The question is, who has kept one of these scamming lowlifes on the phone for the longest time??

 

My best is just over an hour and when I got fed up at the end of that time told them that I knew what a scam it all was got the biggest torrent of foul mouthed abuse you could imagine.

 

Haven't had the call for ages now but got one this morning which I couldn't do full justice to as I'm working away from the PC.

 

They seem to hit a wall when you tell them you are still using a 286 (that is an old computah to you young whippersnappers) and that there is no "vindows" key on the keyboard. LOL

 

The bit that really makes me chuckle is how they painstakingly try to explain to me, in my own native language, what I need to do to put the problems right.

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I once received one from a 'company' which claimed I had been downloading kiddie porn and that my laptop would be unlocked for the fee of 150 quid.I found I could scroll down to reveal a list of the offences I was guilty of and evidence in the form of jpegs, many of which I recognised as jpegs of my own artwork, which were paintings of dogs etc! If I didn't pay I was liable to a fine of £5000 and a jail sentence of up to 5 years, after which I would be placed on the sex offenders register. The page had a poor facsimile of Cheshire Constabulary's home page(?)

It was all rather amusing and very amateurish until I realised they had indeed locked me out!

Didn't take a lot of putting right, but bloody annoying. It wasn't even that convincing.

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A chap in Luton got prosecuted for this.

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/microsoft-scam-call-conman-mohammed-3341579

 

In my opinion his sentence was way too lenient.

 

I think I'd have to agree, surely if his illegal business took in a million pounds the fines he got were laughable and just what those who fancy a go at internet con artistry would be encouraged by?

 

Should have seized all his assets as they sometimes do with other crims and shipped him back to wherever he came from.

 

He was given a suspended four-month jail sentence and ordered to pay a fine of £5,000, costs of £13,929 and ­compensation of £5,665.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/microsoft-scam-call-conman-mohammed-3341579#ixzz2xuViyOJK

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I ask them to be patient with me as I pretend to be a computer newbie pensioner. Have also told them someone was at the front door and they held the line for half hour lol.

They also like thrash metal down the phone too whilst they hold .

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I tried to place an order for windows all round the house plus a conservatory.

 

Ranjit (he told me his name was Claude in very broken English) tried to tell me it was not that sort of Window problem, I said it was as they were draughty.

The call did not last too much longer.

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On a serious note my mum gets at least one call every single day from foreign scammers. She's wised up so it's not a risk, just bloody annoying!

We, The Memsahib and me, get two or three every day. Had two today. Ruddy annoying when the lady was ill and I would rush to the phone expecting doctor or nurses to find some burk trying to con me out of my hard earned pension. Hanging should be bought back!

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Mr ***** I'm calling about a car accident you've had in the last 3 years

Which one?

Have you had more than one?

Yes a guy hit me in 2012 then again in 2013.

What happened in 2012?

This bloke run into my car and broke both my legs, can you get me money?

Yes we can Mr Brooks, what happened in 2013?

The same bloke came back and rammed me again this time breaking 3 arms

He broke your arm in 3 places?

No he broke all 3 of my arms, can you get me money cos I'm worried he'll be back this year.

Mr Brooks are you having a joke with me?

No, can you get me money?

Yes if you are telling the truth.

How much can you get me? one of my 3 arms don't work now?

Goodbye Mr *******

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