Rupert Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 A number of recent weddings in our family,cousins etc, they all had a life together before so cash was the order of the day,for some it was the honeymoon,others towards that first step on the property ladder.I think this works well in todays society.No lists,duplication,receipts etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyska Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Putting your head above the parapet on PW is great isn't it? It's not like that, just opinion I gather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayano3 Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 One of the girls in our office got married last year and requested money. I thought this would be ok as they could buy things they wanted. Little did I know I contributed to paying for a honeymoon in the Maldives. To make matters worse when my son did a half marathon for dementia charity she would not even sponsor him for a quid. Lesson learnt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sian Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 When I got married 23 years ago I did not ask for anything as we had already been together 9 years and for four of those we had bought a flat, sold it, bought a house and had what we really needed. I was lucky my dad paid for the whole bash and my grandad's present was our honeymoon although it came in the form of £3K in a fruit and veg brown bag - market man LOL. I found the older generation gave things like silver frames, limited edition pictures, good pans which I still use and the younger lot got together and gave us vouchers for John Lewis so we could choose things - their choice. I don't have strong feelings about the subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grazy Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 I'm getting married this year and will be stating no presents or cash. I have attended over 30 weddings for friends and family and find it disgusting when people send me a list of presents they want. I want the people I am inviting to the wedding to come as they are my friends and not because I want something from them. I will even be paying the bar bill as I don't want the night to cost anyone anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pushkin Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) Not keen on the method myself but John Lewis do wedding lists for you. Not sure if there is a cost though. Pushkin. doh! Edited January 2, 2015 by Pushkin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Mike Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 I find this custom totally abhorant, and if anyone sent me a list of suggested presents that they would think i might like to contribute to they would get nowt.from Auntie. Me too its presumptuous in the extreme.. That's the 21st Century for you. Every wedding I've ever been to I've totally ignored the gift list and bought the couple something I can afford, not something they cannot. I would wager that if you are so materialistic to worry about particular gifts or cash equivalents your union will end in divorce before too long so all your guests money will have been wasted. Just be grateful for the gesture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Not keen on the method myself but John Lewis do weeding lists for you. Not sure if there is a cost though. Pushkin. They have a great range of gardening equipment too! I absolutely hate this "here's my wedding list" approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandspider Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Wow. I didn't ask for a debate on the ethics of wedding gift lists. Seems like I got one though! Auntie, FIsherman Mike (bit of a leap from having a gift list to divorce, thanks for that) and several others are definitely off the invite list. Every wedding that I've been to in the past 15 years (in fact every wedding I've been to) has come with a gift list. And I've bought gifts. Obviously, the giving of a gift from the list (or elsewhere) is optional. There will also be lower value options, both for phyiscal gifts and honeymoon contributions. We appreciate people coming and that their presence is a present. But at the same time, people want to give gifts. We already have a house full of stuff, and don't need any more. We don't want physical cash, as that seems rude (as mentioned) - but a website that hosts a list where guests (that want to) can choose a specific option (e.g. a meal for £20 etc.) is a much nicer way of going about it. To return to the original question - does anyone know a good list provider? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaxiDriver Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 does this involve the bride dancing round a pole by any chance Have a Greek wedding and get cash pinned on you Not a Pole :no: But A GREEK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzypigeon Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 My brother and his wife weren't too pleased when I didn't give them any cash towards their honeymoon, I felt it was extremely rude to tell everyone what they should give you/buy for you so I just bought tickets for Disneyland Paris for them and their 2 daughters to really annoy her!! Hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Mike Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Wow. I didn't ask for a debate on the ethics of wedding gift lists. Seems like I got one though! Auntie, FIsherman Mike (bit of a leap from having a gift list to divorce, thanks for that) and several others are definitely off the invite list. Every wedding that I've been to in the past 15 years (in fact every wedding I've been to) has come with a gift list. And I've bought gifts. Obviously, the giving of a gift from the list (or elsewhere) is optional. There will also be lower value options, both for phyiscal gifts and honeymoon contributions. We appreciate people coming and that their presence is a present. But at the same time, people want to give gifts. We already have a house full of stuff, and don't need any more. We don't want physical cash, as that seems rude (as mentioned) - but a website that hosts a list where guests (that want to) can choose a specific option (e.g. a meal for £20 etc.) is a much nicer way of going about it. To return to the original question - does anyone know a good list provider? Harrods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmytree Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 The last 'Greek' (actually in Cyprus) wedding I went to the PU went on for three days during which time we all pinned money on the bride several times over - and it was worth every drachma. Strewth what a hangover I had. No chance I would get involved with one of these new fangled present lists - Down right rudeness in my opinion. Agreed, if you haven't been to a Greek Cypriot wedding you haven't seen how it's done properly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felly100 Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Matter Land? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyska Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Harrods. Touché Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fabhui Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Not a fan of wedding gift wants list myself. I got married (for the 2nd time) 3 years ago and we didn't ask for anything and didn't really get anything apart from a vase and some cash my parents gave to us both. Just tell them you don't need or want anything except for them to be there and to share your day with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLondon Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Have a Greek wedding and get cash pinned on you +1 beat me to it mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashman Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) Since it's a #### thing to do, try Primark. Edited January 2, 2015 by Flashman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pushkin Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Posted Today, 07:39 PM Pushkin, on 02 Jan 2015 - 7:26 PM, said: Not keen on the method myself but John Lewis do weeding lists for you. Not sure if there is a cost though. Pushkin. They have a great range of gardening equipment too! I absolutely hate this "here's my wedding list" approach. Cheers Tightchoke - have amended original to Wedding instead of weeding Pushkin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pushkin Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Sandspider Posted Today, 07:48 PM Wow. I didn't ask for a debate on the ethics of wedding gift lists. Seems like I got one though! Auntie, FIsherman Mike (bit of a leap from having a gift list to divorce, thanks for that) and several others are definitely off the invite list. Every wedding that I've been to in the past 15 years (in fact every wedding I've been to) has come with a gift list. And I've bought gifts. Obviously, the giving of a gift from the list (or elsewhere) is optional. There will also be lower value options, both for phyiscal gifts and honeymoon contributions. We appreciate people coming and that their presence is a present. But at the same time, people want to give gifts. We already have a house full of stuff, and don't need any more. We don't want physical cash, as that seems rude (as mentioned) - but a website that hosts a list where guests (that want to) can choose a specific option (e.g. a meal for £20 etc.) is a much nicer way of going about it. To return to the original question - does anyone know a good list provider? 'John Lewis' Pushkin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandalf Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 Sandspider Posted Today, 07:48 PM We already have a house full of stuff, and don't need any more. We don't want physical cash, Pushkin So why do you need a list of presents at all? Just get spliced, have a super day with all your friends and let that be the end of it. (Maybe anonymous donations to a charity of your choice). I am not speaking out of turn here. My lovely Memsahib and I had also lived together for years. This was in the time that it just wasn't the done thing. She had already changed her name to mine by deed-pole. When we decided to get hitched it came as a great shock to all of our friends because they thought we already were. We just had one super day that we will remember for all of our days - The Memsahib did the catering for the wedding breakfast and after a fantastic afternoon with all our friends we all went to the local pub for dinner. My lady had not been married before so her mother and sister insisted on presents - a dinner service and cash towards our upcoming move to a new house. And that was it. No presents from anyone else at our request. Just go and enjoy the day for what it is - The first day of the rest of your life. Forget the commercial aspects. I hope your marriage goes as well as mine has - I am now 75 and she is 78 and disabled - and I wouldn't swap her for all the proverbial tea in China. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delburt0 Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 I find this custom totally abhorant, and if anyone sent me a list of suggested presents that they would think i might like to contribute to they would get nowt.from Auntie.+1 we never had a list, if anyone wanted to buy us something it's upto them we never made a list or told anyone what to buy or ask for money, they still got buffet if they didn't buy us anything, although a pint paid on would have been enough.You get married because your committing to your love, no for a whip round... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delburt0 Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 My sister is getting married in May and the costs are huge! Her and fiancée have a house, complete with kettle and toaster they can't afford a honeymoon after forking out. £10k for the wedding so are considering similar why spend 10k on other folk then and do without a honeymoon, if they can't afford it there obviously getting married above there means. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentalmac Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 why spend 10k on other folk then and do without a honeymoon, if they can't afford it there obviously getting married above there means. The problem is, it's hard (but not im Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentalmac Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 why spend 10k on other folk then and do without a honeymoon, if they can't afford it there obviously getting married above there means. The problem is, it's hard (but not impossible) to do a wedding on the cheap now. You mention the 'W' word and suddenly prices rocket. Especially If its not a church wedding. Venues want so much money to be there. Obviously you could hire the local villages scout hut but its hardly the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.