chady Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 So sorry to hear this I really am! Not a lot I can say. I can't say I understand as I don't as fortunetly I have never been there! I can just imagine. So sorry and All the best. Jamie im not going to hate on you as plenty of others have started doing that in response to this post. however, it takes a lot to understand why people suffer so badly from stress and depression, and it affects different people with different severitys. i was signed off for 6 months with stress related depression. to look at me at the time you probably wouldnt have thought that there was anything wrong with me. i looked fine, but i was broken inside. i couldnt handle day to day working life, even the smallest amount of stress would send me into either a rage or tears. nothing i could do about it. i have never been workshy, hell, i hate taking holiday. i worked from the day i left school until the moment that my depression kicked in. and the cause? 2 years previous to my 'break down' i had endured watching my 5 month old daughter die in front of me. i gave her CPR for 15 minutes while waiting for an ambulance and couldnt save her. my then partner was understandably a complete wreck after this, so rather than deal with it myself i supported her instead. the following 18 months untill we split up saw me become a victim of mental and often serious physical abuse at the hands of my ex because it messed her up so badly. i had ashtrays smashed over my head, cut with a knife and hit with various objects. eventually, after she cheated on me for the 3rd time, i walked away. 2 months before we were due to be married. 6 months after i walked away, something inside me just stopped working. it was almost as if dealing with her had kept me going, and when i stopped, i broke. as i previously said, i was off for 6 months. i was paid SSP for the whole time. and do you know what? i deserved that money. i have paid much more in taxes in my life than i claimed in that 6 months. and i seriously fail to see how looking at pictures of wounded soldiers would have made an iota of difference to my situation. it certainly wouldnt have helped. and after all is said and done with this post, im not angry or annoyed at what you said fenboy, unlike some others will be. i just hope this makes you realise that sweeping statements such as the one you posted, are not always as sensitive as they should be. think before you type. (or word your posts a little better) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laird Lugton Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 (edited) Going back to the original question my employer handles it very well. We get 6 months on full pay and at their discretion they can continue to pay. I would have no hesitation in going to my GP if I needed to do so as I know the company would back me up. As to firearms licences and stress I can think of a good analogy to this. I once met the first commercial pilot in the UK to regain his flying medical after undergoing heart bypass surgery. Once he had recovered he asked the Civil Aviation Authority medical team if they were not concerned about his heart. Their response was that they were very happy with his heart as they had closely followed his recovery, what concerned them were all the commercial pilots out there who show no signs of coronary heart disease but statistically must have it. The same I would think would apply in the case of firearms and stress. There must be an awful lot of people who are able to hide their symptoms but must have it. Surely seeking treatment keeps it in the open and if treated successfully poses no threat? Edited February 18, 2015 by Laird Lugton Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royboy Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Lifes to short to be depressed, ive had my fair share of problems but I'm only here once, so I always think there's sombody out there worse off than you are and just get on with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2meterpeter Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Don't know if this will help or not but read on . I was a manager for a large company and stress was full on . It is delpt with in many ways first visit the doc , then they will. Determin what type of stress it is , from this their can be a support centre where the person can talk through the problem , if the person has a partner and the can't talk to them this is the best way to deal with it tablets are usually issued but if possible depending on the severity try and encourage not to take them once on them it is hard to get off them , as for work they will and should pay for the standard 13 week sick then it will be on to s s p , the hr department should offer assistance in the form of a company doctor who in return could but only with the persons permition tell h r the problem and the changes needed to change the situation so as to remove the stress . The return to work will be staged. Ie only a few days at a time until declared fit by the doc . If the problem is of a sort that the person is unable to return to work the company will start the caperbillite procedure stage one is to get the person on it stage two is to re assess the situation and stage three is where they can dismiss them . The other alternative is constructive dismissal where the stree at work has caused such a problem that the person cannot return their fore causing them to be come under employed this is the expensive route it is anything up to 7k or more to bring this to court lots of paperwork and the logging of ever think that has caused it , this is hard to do when already suffering with stress , the out come if it is found that the company is liable is compensation . This is the general outling as I do not know the person. Remember most of all they will need support first and foremost and that comes from friends , it is trending on egg shells and the smallest thing will set them off , hope it helps. Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullet1747 Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Unless you have had depression you won't know wot they suffer like , I had it for just under two years I carried on working put my wife and family through hell , lucky for me she stood bye me gave up the tablets went to the docs told him wot I was going to do backed me all the way , I have SGC. FAC all with the help from the doc and feo , it isn't nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ordnance Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 (edited) Lifes to short to be depressed, ive had my fair share of problems but I'm only here once, so I always think there's sombody out there worse off than you are and just get on with it. Do you think its that simple simple, just get on with it . Edited February 18, 2015 by ordnance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poontang Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Do you think its that simple simple, just get on with it . Well it is that simple for some people. People cope with stress in different ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digger Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 yup. Some people cope. Some don't. absolutely no shame in admitting you can't. maybe it's not seen as manly or macho to admit it ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royboy Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 I can understand it's not that simple, it's just sad that they are Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ben0850 Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 I was signed off with stress for four weeks once, to be honest it was a life saver, at the time I was working for a huge and well known American firm, managing a team of six designers. The stress of the daily, 80 mile commute up and down one of Britain's busiest motorways coupled with the pressure of constantly having to deliver the same or more in less time and for less cost eventually got to me after 5 years. I'm not a very emotional man but found myself rapidly becoming so, unable to sleep, couldn't see a way out (usual family and mortgage commitments). Those four weeks gave me time to reevaluate my life and priorities and realise that I didn't need to be someone else's cog to earn a living. I managed to negotiate an exit plan and went freelance, that was nearly ten years ago and I've never looked back. Stress is very different from depression, and people deal with it differently. In my case it just wore me down until I could no longer cope with it, no need for medication, just enough breathing space to revaluate things. I have an uneasy feeling I'm heading in that direction... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mick miller Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 (edited) Well, it's not the same as depression remember that. If you're heading in that direction I would advocate taking some time to see if you can steer your career in a different direction or, make use of your skills somewhere else. I was never depressed, in fact, quite happy with everything else in life, so found it hard to understand why my job was making me feel so ill and emotional. It's only when I was able to have an enforced break that I could actually take the time to work out that the ridiculous pressure to improve performance whilst cutting time and costs was the ever decreasing circle and the root of my problem. The bloody commute didn't help either, I spent 8 hours on that motorway one evening. Once I jogged that off I was back to my old self in no time! Edited February 18, 2015 by mick miller Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandalf Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Nothing to add to the topic. Just and observation that this is one of the most interesting ones I have read on PW. Fascinating how peoples views and experiences describe modern life in Europe to the full. Where has it all gone so terribly wrong... Surely this is not how we are supposed to live? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pob Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Nothing to add to the topic. Just and observation that this is one of the most interesting ones I have read on PW. Fascinating how peoples views and experiences describe modern life in Europe to the full. Where has it all gone so terribly wrong... Surely this is not how we are supposed to live? +1 Seems like we live in a system that knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. It's not really working for me and obviously a few on here too. Good luck to all in finding a better solution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penelope Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 No B. you are correct, we are supposed to live in smallish close knit units hunting and gathering. Nothing to add to the topic. Just and observation that this is one of the most interesting ones I have read on PW. Fascinating how peoples views and experiences describe modern life in Europe to the full. Where has it all gone so terribly wrong... Surely this is not how we are supposed to live? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 I was working permanent nights in a dairy industry, producing whey products for companies such as Farleys, Cow & Gate and Mars. I was on permanent nights due to the fact a work colleague had an accident in which he almost died, and received severe injuries, and the rest of the workforce were required to cover shifts. Because of the way my shift pattern fell, I ended up covering his night shifts when my own ended. I did this for nigh on six months over autumn and winter, in a work environment where there were no windows due to BS 5750 accreditation. This meant it was dark when I went to work and dark when I went to bed, and within two hours of getting up it was dark again, and there was little time off at the end of each four week cycle due to the requirement to cover. I mention this fact to management, and was told 'you're the only one complaining', to which my reply was 'I'm the only one doing it'. They said something would be done, but they also knew as well as I did, that it wouldn't be. It got to the stage where I had to fall out with management before they acted, and they gave me two days off which just turned into a quick shift changeover, but by then anyhow (unknown to me) it was too late. I was already stressed, sleeping around two hours a night and absolutely hyper; I had energy to burn and though it was great. I didn't realise I was running on pure adrenalin and took to drink in an effort to get some sleep. Then it started to have an effect on my relationship with my partner, which just exacerbated the problem, increased my adrenalin levels until I found myself at work one day just simply unable to concentrate and carry out the most simple task. Really weird. It was akin to trying to carry out procedures I could do in my sleep but with a firework display going off inside my head. I simply ceased to function. Anyhow, I was off work for about two weeks, feeling much better after finding out what was wrong with me and that I wasn't in fact going insane, and two other blokes in my department told me they had gone through a similar experience some years ago! Lesson learned then eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunderbird Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Nothing to add to the topic. Just and observation that this is one of the most interesting ones I have read on PW. Fascinating how peoples views and experiences describe modern life in Europe to the full. Where has it all gone so terribly wrong... Surely this is not how we are supposed to live? The thing is, from an evolutionary perspective, we are a mere stones throw away from earlier times of mankind when the 'fight or flight' response meant just that. Nowadays in our culture at least, those outlets no longer exist and our minds and bodies, in many people's cases, are not equipped to deal with it. As has been evidenced by many stories told here, even though people think they are coping with stress, there is always a price somewhere down the road. Stress and pressure from work or other life situations can affect you in strange ways and sadly it is only often with hindsight that we see that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Well it is that simple for some people. People cope with stress in different ways. And the internal doors of Burnley suffered for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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