Christmas cancelled

[Lloyd90]

On 04/12/2019 at 13:33, discobob said:

I can't stand Christmas since we moved close to the wife's family. Now we have had the in laws every Christmas for 15 years despite my wife having a sister and two step brothers. My F-I-L walks in, sits down and hogs the remote - being unable to watch anything longer than 5 minutes without him changing the channel is really irritating, and the wife is in the kitchen with the M-I-L telling her what to do. Then Boxing day, we have the rest of the wife's vulture family turn up - with nothing in hand - expecting food and drink, and then usually another time around New Year they all turn up again - still with nothing in their hands.

It really irritates me how they all buy (c@rp) presents for my wife whereas she has spent time and effort finding something particular for each of them (all the way down to grand-nephews and nieces). The worst is the M-I-L, she buys the same present for my wife and S-I-L, like she does on their birthday which they share (although there are 6 years between them).

The worst thing is though that since we moved up, Christmas hasn't been for our kids - it has all been for the wife's family.

 

Well why don’t you put your foot down and tell them to do one?!!

[Old farrier]

On 04/12/2019 at 13:33, discobob said:

I can't stand Christmas since we moved close to the wife's family. Now we have had the in laws every Christmas for 15 years despite my wife having a sister and two step brothers. My F-I-L walks in, sits down and hogs the remote - being unable to watch anything longer than 5 minutes without him changing the channel is really irritating, and the wife is in the kitchen with the M-I-L telling her what to do. Then Boxing day, we have the rest of the wife's vulture family turn up - with nothing in hand - expecting food and drink, and then usually another time around New Year they all turn up again - still with nothing in their hands.

It really irritates me how they all buy (c@rp) presents for my wife whereas she has spent time and effort finding something particular for each of them (all the way down to grand-nephews and nieces). The worst is the M-I-L, she buys the same present for my wife and S-I-L, like she does on their birthday which they share (although there are 6 years between them).

The worst thing is though that since we moved up, Christmas hasn't been for our kids - it has all been for the wife's family.

 

Hope you survived the ordeal when they arrived for new year tell them you have made a resolution 

next year you have booked a meal for the lot of them at the local pub and you will all be going to the local church service first So best clothes to be worn

also there’s going to be a secret Santa one table gift each 

this should break the habit or at least make them think 

you don’t have to give them a reason why 

[daveboy]

For the first time this year we booked into a local restaurant (curry house) only £30 quid a head …It was brilliant.

[TIGHTCHOKE]

2 hours ago, daveboy said:

For the first time this year we booked into a local restaurant (curry house) only £30 quid a head …It was brilliant.

That's a cracking idea!

[Grandalf]

Memsahib and I gave up Christmas over 25 years ago.   Never regretted it.

The whole thing has just become a nonsense.

People spending money that they can't afford on things that the recipient doesn't want.   People going into debt because of it.   People getting very unhappy because they can't spend it with the people that they want to be with.   People feeling lonely.   People being crowded out of their own homes by relatives that they don't like.   Kids being bullied because their parents are poor and can't afford the things that the other kids take for granted.  

I could go on for a very long time but wont bore you lovers of the occasion.

Best thing we ever did. 

[Taileron]

On 04/12/2019 at 08:11, Centrepin said:

 

I missed five christmases on the trot, plus others  when my kids were little due to being "Out of the country on Her Majestys service" you can't get those times back.

I missed 14 on the bounce for the exact same reason. Sadly my eldest kids would have been 20+19 this year however my daughter passed away in September from an innocuous virus. Her birthday was 18 Dec so I was absolutely dreading this Xmas.....but I have two young kids as well and I was absolutely adamant it was not going to ruin it for them. On Xmas day my youngest daughter ran into our bedroom shouting “he’s actually been, Santa has been” made me cry.

 

[mel b3]

2 hours ago, Taileron said:

I missed 14 on the bounce for the exact same reason. Sadly my eldest kids would have been 20+19 this year however my daughter passed away in September from an innocuous virus. Her birthday was 18 Dec so I was absolutely dreading this Xmas.....but I have two young kids as well and I was absolutely adamant it was not going to ruin it for them. On Xmas day my youngest daughter ran into our bedroom shouting “he’s actually been, Santa has been” made me cry.

 

I'm so sorry to hear of your tragic loss my friend . Your story should be a message to all of us , to make the best of every moment that were given.

[Taileron]

20 hours ago, mel b3 said:

I'm so sorry to hear of your tragic loss my friend . Your story should be a message to all of us , to make the best of every moment that were given.

Absolutely spot on my friend, and thanks for the sentiment. My son swiftly married his long term girlfriend shortly after our loss and we are selling our home, flashy cars etc to downsize and have more cash readily available to buy memories. It’s an old adage but I was working ridiculous hours simply to earn the big dollars and what for? I was missing valuable time with the family so I could wear a 4K watch and own a 3k gun and support a lifestyle that really, didn’t bring happiness. You can’t take it with you! Every moment should be seized and enjoyed because it can all be over at any moment. Saying it seems pointless, but when you experience it, it’s a life changer for us all.

[mel b3]

1 hour ago, Taileron said:

Absolutely spot on my friend, and thanks for the sentiment. My son swiftly married his long term girlfriend shortly after our loss and we are selling our home, flashy cars etc to downsize and have more cash readily available to buy memories. It’s an old adage but I was working ridiculous hours simply to earn the big dollars and what for? I was missing valuable time with the family so I could wear a 4K watch and own a 3k gun and support a lifestyle that really, didn’t bring happiness. You can’t take it with you! Every moment should be seized and enjoyed because it can all be over at any moment. Saying it seems pointless, but when you experience it, it’s a life changer for us all.

all very true , but it takes a tragic loss to realise how lucky we are . i missed my kids growing up because i thought that buying them flash trainers and mobile phones was more important than spending time with them . when my first wife was diagnosed with cancer , i carried on working and thought that i was doing the right thing , as soon as we lost her ,  i realised that i should have just walked away from work , and spent every precious second together .  i know that many pw members have similar stories , but it always takes a tragedy to make us realise what we have .

[hawkeye]

15 hours ago, mel b3 said:

all very true , but it takes a tragic loss to realise how lucky we are . i missed my kids growing up because i thought that buying them flash trainers and mobile phones was more important than spending time with them . when my first wife was diagnosed with cancer , i carried on working and thought that i was doing the right thing , as soon as we lost her ,  i realised that i should have just walked away from work , and spent every precious second together .  i know that many pw members have similar stories , but it always takes a tragedy to make us realise what we have .

That brings back memories Mel remember it wasn't long after i lost my wife for me its 17 years gone last `november..

Edited December 30, 2019 by hawkeye

[Taileron]

21 hours ago, mel b3 said:

all very true , but it takes a tragic loss to realise how lucky we are . i missed my kids growing up because i thought that buying them flash trainers and mobile phones was more important than spending time with them . when my first wife was diagnosed with cancer , i carried on working and thought that i was doing the right thing , as soon as we lost her ,  i realised that i should have just walked away from work , and spent every precious second together .  i know that many pw members have similar stories , but it always takes a tragedy to make us realise what we have .

Fully agree with everything you have said. I went back to work after 5 weeks, massive mistake. Couldn’t focus on anything and was just horrible to my work mates.

[mel b3]

6 hours ago, hawkeye said:

That brings back memories Mel remember it wasn't long after i lost my wife for me its 17 years gone last `november..

its coming up to 12 years for me now . it changes the way that you see things for the rest of your life , and makes you realise that you need to be grateful for every second that you get.

[mel b3]

1 hour ago, Taileron said:

Fully agree with everything you have said. I went back to work after 5 weeks, massive mistake. Couldn’t focus on anything and was just horrible to my work mates.

I went back to work the week after my wife's funeral, everyone told me not to , but I didn't listen , I soon realised that I couldn't hack it , and came home for about four or five weeks. Some days as I went into work everyone would speak to me , on other days everyone would back away from me , I finally realised that they were looking to see what mood I was in before they approached me, ever since then I've made a point of insulting and abusing my workmates every morning, on the odd occasion that I miss a few insults , one of the lads will usually ask me quietly if everything is OK,  obviously I reply with xxxx off you homo and stop trying to groom me , then they know that alls well. 

Life deals us some funny old hands , we just have to make the very best of every hand that we get dealt , and nobody gets through the game without a few scars.