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This is what a £1500 Advert gets you


pavman
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We placed an ad for an Oilfield Project Engineer and this was one CV that came in :hmm:

 

 

I wish to work for a progressive organisation where hard work, achievements and dedication are rewarded. I feel I can turn my hand to most things and would relish the opportunity to work with you, I have great supervisory skills and whilst I have no experience in your service sector I know I would pick it up as we went along, I love socialising and Girls (but don’t mind gay people) and support West Ham “*** on u Hammersâ€

 

Career history

 

Sept07-Present, McDonalds fast food team member

 

Aug 06-Aug 07 Lucky Star Chinese Take away order delivery driver

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If it's for a job that Pavman can do I would have expected an ad at Colchester Zoo for a partially trained monkey who wanted to fulfill's its development.

 

I fear a partially trained monkey would want more than 15K in that case! :hmm:

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At least you have an applicant !I have had an advert in the dole office for over a year for a driver and only had 1 person ring up and it may have been the same person now that i think about it because he started by telling me what hours he would work,what days he wouldnt work,when he normally took his holidays and then ended by saying "when do i start"

Some people just dont have a clue

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A couple of years ago my daughter advetised a warehouse mans job at the local job centre .One of the applicants sent by the job centre was a career dole waller and made it quite clear on interview that he had a problem getting up in the mornings . Much to his surprise and annoyance my daughter offerd him the job and told him to report at the depot at 6 am the next monday morning . He off course did not turn up ,so my daughter phoned the job centre and reported the fact that he did not appear . A couiple of days later the job centre phoned my daughter and told her all his benifits had been stopped . Harnser .

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We placed an ad for an Oilfield Project Engineer and this was one CV that came in :hmm:

 

 

I wish to work for a progressive organisation where hard work, achievements and dedication are rewarded. I feel I can turn my hand to most things and would relish the opportunity to work with you, I have great supervisory skills and whilst I have no experience in your service sector I know I would pick it up as we went along, I love socialising and Girls (but don’t mind gay people) and support West Ham “*** on u Hammersâ€

 

Career history

 

Sept07-Present, McDonalds fast food team member

 

Aug 06-Aug 07 Lucky Star Chinese Take away order delivery driver

 

If you look further back you will probably find he has a degree and this was the only work he could find.

 

Anyway- whats the job paying...

 

I am sick of these mininum wage jobs at the moment

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Pondering on this thread it reminds me of a job I was on up north a few years ago.

 

After taking a new intake of blokes on this particular job the foreman came ito my office moaning about the poor standard of tradesman kicking about.

 

After going out to have a closer look at these two guys who were trying to set up a 36" piece of pipe for a welder I come to the clear conclusion that this not their game.

 

After a little gentle interrogation it turns out the agency had a poor idea of the difference between a 'Pipefitter' and a 'carpet fitter'

 

They even had the carpet stretchers in their toolboxes....

 

Even though they protested their innocence in the fact the job center told them the job title asked for fitters when they applied I did tell them I am surprised they did'nt cotton on that not many carpet fitters are usually employed on oil refineries......

 

Especially on nights for 12 hours per day, and paid a grand a week too.

 

I did'nt sack them though- because sometimes you have to admire peoples cheek so I found them something more constructive to do......

 

but that's another story.......

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[

If you look further back you will probably find he has a degree and this was the only work he could find.

 

I am inclined to agree that this is either a mammoth "wah" or an idiot graduate. Where I work we had a brief spate where a scientist managed to end up in charge of recruitment, and decided that we needed a load of graduate entrants. The recruitment was a joke, most of the applicants could not walk and talk at the same time, and those who managed to slip through are (with a couple of exceptions) bloody awful.

 

I think you should hire him, if only to bear witness to the fact that a 30 year old with a PhD really can have the social accumen and common sense of a child (through direct experience of one who worked for me) after years and years of having his bum wiped for him in academia :hmm:

 

ZB

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