Child support payments

[digger]

After a bit of advice really, I split from my ex two years ago - we have two daughters of nine and thirteen. The split was relatively amicable despite me seeing someone else ( judge me if you want ). I maintained then as I do now that the girls will always have a roof over their heads, I have stayed local to them so they are nearby and they get on really well with my fiancee.

I pay my ex £565 a month "maintenance" which I could do with reducing but have no idea if the CSA would agree, I dare not approach them after alll the horror stories. I have the girls one day and night every weekend, have them for five or so hours on a Wednesday, take them to Guides / Brownies on a Tues. I also have them for two weeks per year when their mum is on her annual cruise. I have never missed a parents evening or school do and take them to the Docs / dentist as and when.

Simply put am I being mugged off ?

[Dempy]

I thought the guidence was 15% of your take home pay for the first child, then 5% per child after that, but the best way you can sort it out is wife your ex if you can.

 

If you were in a relationship and had kids, you have to suport them, but you have to be able to LIVE!

[mossy835]

After a bit of advice really, I split from my ex two years ago - we have two daughters of nine and thirteen. The split was relatively amicable despite me seeing someone else ( judge me if you want ). I maintained then as I do now that the girls will always have a roof over their heads, I have stayed local to them so they are nearby and they get on really well with my fiancee.

I pay my ex £565 a month "maintenance" which I could do with reducing but have no idea if the CSA would agree, I dare not approach them after alll the horror stories. I have the girls one day and night every weekend, have them for five or so hours on a Wednesday, take them to Guides / Brownies on a Tues. I also have them for two weeks per year when their mum is on her annual cruise. I have never missed a parents evening or school do and take them to the Docs / dentist as and when.

Simply put am I being mugged off ?

 

 

£565 a month that seems a lot of money,if you went to the csa, you may not pay that much, its good you have the kids as much as you do.and take them out kike you do.have a word with them see how you get on.go on the web site you can work out how much you should be paying,

[Chard]

After a bit of advice really, I split from my ex two years ago - we have two daughters of nine and thirteen. The split was relatively amicable despite me seeing someone else ( judge me if you want ). I maintained then as I do now that the girls will always have a roof over their heads, I have stayed local to them so they are nearby and they get on really well with my fiancee.

I pay my ex £565 a month "maintenance" which I could do with reducing but have no idea if the CSA would agree, I dare not approach them after alll the horror stories. I have the girls one day and night every weekend, have them for five or so hours on a Wednesday, take them to Guides / Brownies on a Tues. I also have them for two weeks per year when their mum is on her annual cruise. I have never missed a parents evening or school do and take them to the Docs / dentist as and when.

Simply put am I being mugged off ?

 

 

Hard to say, Digger. Depends on your income and current circumstances. I had years of wrangling with the CSA. They overturned a clean break settlement I had made through the courts and tried to stitch me up. Went on for years but I got the better of them in the end, but it nearly drove me mad. :blink:

 

They work to a rigid formula and will arrive at an amount of maintenance that you must pay, based on your income and outgoings. If you don't earn a lot and have high outgoings, it would be tempting to let them get involved, because their formula might arrive at a figure of less than £565 a month. Of course, the danger is that it might raise the payment, if you earn good money and don't have big outgoings. There is a ludicrously complex leaflet/booklet that you can pick up, which explains the formula, so you would be able to work it out yourself with reasonable accuracy. Horribly complicated though, as only a dumbarse government bunch of misfits can produce

Edited July 6, 2010 by Chard

[KPV4]

I think you are being very generous with the payment you are currently making. I don't know what the cost of the CSA payments might be, as fortunately I haven't been in a similar situation. But I wouldn't have thought it wouldn't be anywhere near what you are currently paying unless your very well off or on very high wages.

 

I would say you could possibly be paying for the annual two week cruise out of the money you are handing over each month (and more) :blink: It is one thing to pay your dues for you children but you shouldn't have to keep you ex as well

[Marcus]

If a claim was to be made now you would be assesed under the new rules. Which I think is 15% first child etc, plenty of info on the net about it.

 

In my personal experience I would say avoid going anywhere near that route if possible, its a real ball ache. How much you pay will depend on your personal circumstances. When I was employed, and paying under old rules I had to pay £805 per month to the mother (and I pulled every trick in the book to get the assessment down) My salary at the time was £60k. Ive always taken my responsibilities very seriously, and paid good money in maintenance, but it wasnt good enough for her as she thought I should be paying more, went to the CSA and the rest is history.

 

Very unfair and they took it by way of deduction of earnings via my employer. Put a stain on me and my family, tucked up like a kipper I was. The mother spent most of it on herself, clothes, going out you name it. I even had to ask why my daughter was in cheep trainers and clothes when there was more than enough money to make sure she had nice things. My daughter did not go on a few school trips, I was always told because of cost, where was the £805 pm going :blink:? Made my blood boil.

 

I am now self employed, and its a different ball game thankfully. But I still provide for my daughter., but on my terms now.

 

Good luck with it, try and avoid the CSA at all costs if you can, though if the ex approaches them you wont have much say in the matter. It just depends if she thinks your offer is about right.

[markm]

£565 a month that seems a lot of money

 

 

Do you have kids? If not then you have no idea, if so try roughly working out what they cost you.

 

As long as the ex is spending it on the kids, quality food, nice clothes / dress & giving them / having a happy life then try to up it, if she is ******* it up against the wall then that is the only reason you should want to reduce it and go for increased access.

[digger]

Thanks for the responses gents - I earn £36k a year gross - not a huge amount as my rent is £800 a month. Ex`s mum pays for the cruises - one a year on her own with her family and once a year she takes the girls with the family. Major part of the reason we split up

[mpk]

My advice to you ( and this is probably good advice) STAY CLEAR OF THE CSA AT ALL COSTS!!!!!!!!!! you may save yourself £100 a month but there is no money in the world that will make up for there incompetance and thier poor ability to judge a situation. Also you will have to be able to prove that you have payed all this time .DO NOT GO THROUGH THE CSA .Keep it amicable. I think the record for calls to pay on pay day whilst i was at work was 16 and that did not include my missus phone ( which they call aswell). And i always pay ontime and always have done . I cant imagine what they would be like to someone who was not ''playing the game''

[Ricko]

OH MY GOD

 

I HAVE JUST HAD 3 LETTERS FROM CSA TODAY AFTER EX WIFE HAS PUT THEM ON TO ME.

 

Left my wife 8 years ago, always paid fair share.

She moved 130 miles away deliberately to try and stop me seeing my kids

She rigged the next set of access dates so that they are below 52 nights overnight stay so she can claim more money

Then went straight to CSA

 

I will co-operate but if i feel that i am being taken for a mug or that i do not have a decent quality of life then i will sell up, downsize to a little terraced house in the village, or a narrow boat and also down size my job, why should i do a high stress job and pay more to see my kids less???

 

My advice, if you earn about £36k (about the same as me) go to csa online calculator, see what you should pay then get a solicitor, it will cost but you should be better off in the long run.

 

Good luck, you'll need it

 

Ricko

[jasper3]

Digger, as hard as it seems now, the two children will soon be old enough to reach the age of independance trust me..the time flies

support them now..you will know in your heart you did your bit to give them the best upbringing they could have...

I can understand the reason for the CSA..its a shame they never became what they were intended for..they went for the easy targets

 

but trust me..the time will soon past then you can rebuild your dreams

 

after a long hard slog..i am just about to marry the girl of my dreams..we both have great kids from previous relationships..the wait and struggle is worth it

 

jasp

[billytheghillie]

when i split from wife she demanded a high sum, i told her where to go (nicely) but she threatened me with csa, so i told her i was going to pack my job in and that she would not get a penny of my £52 a week dole money! luckily i called her bluff and we worked out a more realistic amount. try it you never know.

[Chard]

There seems to be people on here who seem to think that the absent father should be paying 100% of the upkeep of the children. :blink:

 

The fact is that you should be paying your CONTRIBUTION and no more. There is no point in getting all gushing and flowery over bombarding your kids with the bulk of your income while you live like a pauper. That does nobody any good.

 

Some of these bitches will have you over for everything you've got if they get half a chance, they're after a meal ticket. It's an obscenity how little of these contributions go to the kids in many cases. The reality is that they don't have to cost as much as some people would have you believe

 

There's more tripe talked about this subject than any other.

[Guest gloker]

I feel for you digger, a mate of mine is getting royally screwed by csa. He is a changed man. If all else fails mate, ive got a batman outfit you can borrow if you fancy strapping yourself to the town hall! :blink:

[rabbiter]

ive been going through this **** for the last 6 years mate,i feel for you mate,i really do.

i separated from my ex 6 years ago,leaving my two boys,who are now 12 and 9,i started with an agreement with her

where i was paying her 250.00 a month,luckily i had her sign a book on each payment that i made,i now have another partner

who i got in with just after my breakup,we have 2 kids,a girl of 4 and a boy whos 2.my ex kept threatening me with csa

and i hated her for it,they are a nightmare,cut a long story short(very short),the csa got hold of me,i now have a deduction of earnings order

and she gets 138.00 a month till october then it goes down to 116.00,apparently im paying arrears,of which theres NONE,the csa actually made a cockup

and i actually got a compensation cheque(how often does that happen)so i effectively won this one.....

 

you never know mate,but check out the calculator first before you do anything.BEST OF LUCK MATE...

 

DAZ

[wy111]

Just looking at some documents from 2 year ago, when I, yes, a bloke, was getting CSA from my ex. Ok was for my youngest only and it was 15% of her net earnings, but it was reduced pro rata, because she spent 1 night with the ex. She did apply for arbitration, but never turned up, so the cost stood

15% of 36k.....£450/month, seems like you been ripped off :blink:

[bruno22rf]

Seems a lot of money to me but how can you put a price on your kids-their health? wellbeing? and ultimatly their happiness-would they be in a worse situation with less money comng in-they,ve already suffered the pain of their parents splitting up and this is not as easy as they make it seem.Search your heart and not your account.Be lucky.

[Mungler]

Where do I start eh?

 

The starting point is what life is like with your ex? I have (true) stories that would make your hair curl. Anyways, I don't know your ex and don't want to be rude, but the usual route is that if she is a cow and doesn't like the reduction in payment then your access to the kids will become an issue. It really depends on what she is like - if she has some spiteful "mates" whispering in her ear, if she quite enjoys know that you are skint in your new life, if she likes the wedge you are still providing and if she has no intention of working (retraining and re-entering the market place) then you will be on a hiding to nothing.

 

Got one at the moment - she wants the entire net equity out of the matrimonial home (£250K plus) which is far more than she needs or she's off to Wales for a "new start" and taking the kids. Obviously if she gets wedged up she can afford to stay local and in the manner to which she has been accustomed.

 

P.S.

 

I am very intruiged - what's the bit about going on an annual cruise by herself? How did that work?

[Diceman]

Don't trust the CSA.

 

Useless, disorganised, jobsworth, unrepentant, illiterate, innumerate, rude, holier than thou scum. And those are only some of the words I can use on this website, and there are plenty more that I can't.

 

They tried to put an attachment of earnings on me for a child that wasn't mine, spawned by a woman I'd never met, who lived in a town I'd never visited, because I hadn't filled in forms they hadn't sent to me. I demanded a DNA test and they told me I would have to pay for it up front and wouldn't get to see the results. Its a very, very long story and I never got to the bottom of how they got my name and details but after weeks of arguing and phone calls and letter writing and emailing and me being called a liar and worse, they finally accepted that they had the wrong bloke and dropped the case. Not a word of apology, no official notification, they just stopped calling me. Try explaining all that to your partner of 20 years (bless her though, eventually she backed me all the way) and try convincing your personnel department (who knew all about this weeks before I even suspected I was being accused) it was all a mistake when they are all whispering about you in the corridors.

 

Whilst I was fighting my case I did a lot of digging on the net and elsewhere and found dozens of examples of false accusations and wrong calculations, but they just do not accept that they can ever be in error. They have driven many men to take their own lives.

 

Don't forget too that when you pay money to the CSA they do NOT pass every penny of that cash on to the mother/child. They can appropriate a portion of it that they think is due to the state to repay any benefits they might be receiving. Regularly the mother might call in the CSA because she feels hard done to, and end up receiving LESS cash even though the father ends up paying MORE.

 

I can't say that you shouldn't call them in, you might get lucky, but if you want my advice it is this:

 

DO NOT TRUST THE CSA

[Mungler]

They tried to put an attachment of earnings on me for a child that wasn't mine, spawned by a woman I'd never met, who lived in a town I'd never visited,

 

Is your name Joseph and was the town in question called Nazareth?

[Diceman]

Is your name Joseph and was the town in question called Nazareth?

 

Like I say, it WAS a long time ago...

 

Actually, it's funny you should say that, I did make a comment about virgin births in one of my letters. I became increasingly sarcastic as time went on, which probably didn't help my case but made me feel a lot better.

[ME]

Like I say, it WAS a long time ago...

 

 

was it in a galaxy far, far away though ?

 

 

 

[Diceman]

was it in a galaxy far, far away though ?

 

 

 

 

The mother may have lived on another planet, judging by what she had called the poor child. It is either a traditional alien name or a little...ummm.....chavvy. No what ahmean, innit?

In fact that was the clincher for Mrs Diceman. "There is no way you have ever shagged a woman who would call her daughter THAT"

After so many years together she knows what a fantastical snob I am.

[Mungler]

Spill it, what's the name?

 

If it is indeed that bizarre and unique such as to give up the identity of those involved, then just PM it to me

[starlight32]

Spill it, what's the name?

 

If it is indeed that bizarre and unique such as to give up the identity of those involved, then just PM it to me

 

 

Mungler,

 

If can be so bold to ask what is the highest maitanence payment you have settled for a client in your line of work?

 

 

I currently work with a guy paying 1500 a month and she got the house (700k). I know in the showbiz world this is peanuts- so just wondering.