walshie Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 Does anyone believe a person can be a jinx? A mate of mine comes to stay with us a couple of times a year and without fail something always goes wrong a few days before his arrival. This has included: The central heating programmer packing up while it was snowing outside. Utility room roof blowing off. My wife's polytunnel blowing away (2 occasions). The pressure tank for our water bursting its bladder. He came to visit us 2 Saturdays ago and on the Friday my wife noticed an oil smell from our heating oil tank and I noticed a split in the plastic. As they can't install single skin tanks here any more and they need a specific size and thickness of base it's costing the thick end of £4k to get it fixed. That's on top of the £300 emergency call out to get the tank drained. And a decent size tree fell over into the steam while he was actually here. We used to joke about it, but now it seems like it's really a thing. On the bright side my house is getting replaced visit by visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Best Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 (edited) Get rid of him! Or put him in a hotel, it will be cheaper. Edited June 22, 2022 by London Best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldypigeonpopper Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 43 minutes ago, London Best said: Get rid of him! Or put him in a hotel, it will be cheaper. 🤔😁😁😁😁😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enfieldspares Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 (edited) Wait for dawn to come and then cut his living heart out, and, whilst it is still beating, offer it up the Gods as appeasement. That usually sorts it. There's always a simple solution to any problem to be found here on P/W. Let me know how you got on and if it resolved the matter. And as for Dawn she probably won't be too happy but she's usually hard to please anyway. You can't keep everyone smiling all of the time. Edited June 22, 2022 by enfieldspares Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bottletopbill Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 Does he bring his own liability insurance cover if not carry on driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discobob Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 19 minutes ago, enfieldspares said: Wait for dawn to come and then cut his living heart out, and, whilst it is still beating, offer it up the Gods as appeasement. That usually sorts it. There's always a simple solution to any problem to be found here on P/W. Let me know how you got on and if it resolved the matter. And as for Dawn she probably won't be too happy but she's usually hard to please anyway. You can't keep everyone smiling all of the time. And then you can post in this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 So good to see the old carp resurfacing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted June 22, 2022 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 44 minutes ago, enfieldspares said: Wait for dawn to come and then cut his living heart out, and, whilst it is still beating, offer it up the Gods as appeasement. That usually sorts it. There's always a simple solution to any problem to be found here on P/W. Let me know how you got on and if it resolved the matter. And as for Dawn she probably won't be too happy but she's usually hard to please anyway. You can't keep everyone smiling all of the time. Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enfieldspares Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 4 hours ago, discobob said: And then you can post in this thread I've known two people who were murdered. Christoph Schliack and Erdogan Guzel. I was an university with the first and used to breakfast at the cafe of the second. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
safc1973 Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 4 hours ago, walshie said: Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind. try one of these Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 5 hours ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: So good to see the old carp resurfacing! No need to be envious because you don't have any friends that are murderers. One day the truth will get out that ditchman has been killing and eating vagrants for the last fifty years . You'll be catapulted right to the top of the " my mate is a murderer " league 😁. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enfieldspares Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 3 minutes ago, mel b3 said: No need to be envious because you don't have any friends that are murderers. One day the truth will get out that ditchman has been killing and eating vagrants for the last fifty years . Washed down with a chianti? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 29 minutes ago, enfieldspares said: Washed down with a chianti? I reckon ditchman washes them down with an engineers cocktail. It's made from , gin , wd40 , and engineers blue , and it's finished with two cherries , and one of those pineapple chunks that you see in public urinals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 37 minutes ago, mel b3 said: No need to be envious because you don't have any friends that are murderers. One day the truth will get out that ditchman has been killing and eating vagrants for the last fifty years . You'll be catapulted right to the top of the " my mate is a murderer " league 😁. Oh I can't wait! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loriusgarrulus Posted June 23, 2022 Report Share Posted June 23, 2022 8 hours ago, mel b3 said: No need to be envious because you don't have any friends that are murderers. One day the truth will get out that ditchman has been killing and eating vagrants for the last fifty years . You'll be catapulted right to the top of the " my mate is a murderer " league 😁. That explains it now.🤷♀️ In between the gin , wd40 , and engineers blue and the meths infused vagrants ditchman is well pickled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted June 23, 2022 Report Share Posted June 23, 2022 1 hour ago, loriusgarrulus said: That explains it now.🤷♀️ In between the gin , wd40 , and engineers blue and the meths infused vagrants ditchman is well pickled. It would explain many things 😏 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted June 23, 2022 Author Report Share Posted June 23, 2022 14 hours ago, safc1973 said: try one of these Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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