KFC

Cannibals won't eat Clowns because they taste funny.

The way I understand it, firearms transactions are meant to be undertaken face to face which is the reason for RFD's being involved. If it is a private sale then it would have to be face to face so there would be no need to send off certificates.

Smear peanut butter on a brick and then sprinkle the peanut butter with pepper. When the Mouse sniffs it he'll sneeze and smash his head on the brick

It's on the way A while ago my wife asked me about the village I come from, North Crawley near MK, and I started sketching a map of it and then I started noting in all the characters of the village. It made me realise what a goldmine it is for a book. I bought a new tablet last week so I can sit on the East Anglian/Lincolnshire beaches with a fishing line in the water while I tap out my best seller

Thanks for all the wishes. There's a mixture and some of it contrasts starkly with today's standards. My mate Malc and myself earned £1 a day each to go Rabbit gassing on the local estate. We were sent off on a Saturday with a tin of Cymag (hydrogen cyanide powder) a spoon on the end of a garden cane, two Amyl Nitrate phials for an emergency antidote and a pint of milk. We were 14!!! Best thing in the RAF was being taught to skydive by the RAF Falcons and learning to ski on arctic excercises in Norway. Worst thing in the RAF was being in an earthquake in Peru in 1970 which killed 70,000. Irony was that we were monitoring the French atomic test in the South Pacific at the time. I did wonder why we were pratting about with nuclear bombs when a whole country can get up and start walking around. Doing the Turkey killing involved putting the birds legs in a noose and lowering it into a funnel. A pair of bars were put around its neck and a firm push down did the job. The birds were then taken into the stable for the women of the village to pluck while they were warm. One Saturday the shoot was gathering in the stable yard as we were about to start killing and some of the guns had their wives with them. The shoot captain asked us not to start killing until the shoot had moved off in order not to offend the ladies. They then went off to blast ten shades out of Pheasants!!! Best part of Stained glass was getting the job of restoring the glass in Claudia Schiffer's mansion and having a cup of tea with her while we discussed further work. She glows!!!! As a freelance photographer I was asked to photograph a friends wedding. Some time later I got the job making horse saddle trees. I was foreman and later that evening I was going to show my portfolio of photo's to a prospective customer so I'd taken it in to work that day. One of the lads working there asked to look at them and when he saw a photo with the bridesmaids in it he said "Oh my God!! Those bridesmaids are my sisters!!!" He was from a broken home and he'd lost contact with them. I was able to put him back in touch with them. Aaaaah! memories!!! Unfortunately, in retirement I'm going to have to spend quite a bit of time Trout fishing at Grafham Water

Just retired and it got me to thinking of all the ways I've earned money over the years. Paper round Beating Rabbit gassing Sheep shearing/worming tractor driving aircraft engineering armed forces making horse saddle trees window cleaning general cleaning contract cleaning Killing/plucking Turkeys plastics production Chicken meat processing gardening Painting & decorating Glazier Stained glass artist/restorer Glass engraving Photography Retailing cleaning products Running bookshop Standup comedy Talk about 'Jack of all trades, Master of none' Anyone else had varied or wierd work history?

As it happens I've just retired today although I turned sixty five three months ago. I have a state pension, an armed forces pension and I've been working an early morning cleaning job. My state pension is taken off my tax allowance so I only get £4,000 tax free instead of £11,000 so I'm paying more tax now than I did before I turned 65. Personal circumstances dictated retirement but, given the tax and NI I've paid over the years then it does seem a P take.

would it have been using Dove?

It was hopping mad

Saw one of the best/worst the other day. Just leaving a 30mph limit and two lads on twist n goes were going the opposite direction into the 30mph. It was the busy evening rush-hour and they were full throttle at 40-50 and 2-3ft abreast of each other. The lad nearest me had his right hand on the throttle, wound to the stop, and with his other hand he was texting on his mobile phone. Given the thousands who are killed and injured each year by people driving motor vehicles then perhaps drivers should be subject to the same restrictions that SGC/FAC holders are?

Someone I know who'd committed a fraud, which resulted in him owning two houses knocked into one, did nine months at North Sea Camp. He considered it a pretty good move with an all expenses paid summer holiday thrown in (This was before the Proceeds of Crime Act). Dangerous criminal, open prison?

Now you've done it Harnser!!!, we were just about to lure in a new victim for the coven to sacrifice. He'll never fall for that 'introduction' trick

Shakespeare Agility 10' 7# and Greys GTS 500 reel. Snowbee or Barrio WF7 floating line and Airflo 40+ Di3 sinker. Rio flouroflex plus 7lb leader. Good bog standard kit which won't let you down. Don't skimp on fly lines

pm sent

Holt is a lovely area. We camp at Breck Farm quite often. The Taste of India restaurant in Bull St is OK. Can recommend the Cromer end of the pier show. If you like fishing then there's plenty of beach fishing plus wild Brown Trout from the Wensum at Fakenham. As for the Beretta, the first signs of a desperate illness called SAS (Shotgun Acquisition Syndrome). Terrible to see the devastation it can wreak in the brains of, apparently, sane men

Glad to see manky Marquez muck it up and Rossi stick it to him

Go to Uttoxeter every June. Midge Ure, The Animals, Steve Harley, The Blockheads plus loads of fantastic lesser known acts who really should be better known. If you get a chance to see Swan Vesta Social Club, The Biggles Band or Funke and the Two-tone Baby

Couldn't be anything to do with the fact that he's going to Ducati next season could it?

Aaah! that's the trick you see. Make nurses go to university where they pay for their tuition or get grants then make supernumary placements on wards part of their course. Hey-ho, NHS gets nurses for free!!

My wife, for an 'urgent' neurology appt has got 21st October. The best laugh is that,at 55 and with a hereditory condition, having attended hospital on a routine basis every 6 months and been an NHS nurse all her working life, she's got to take in her birth certificate and prove she's entitled to NHS treatment???

Well done Cal. and for me it was great to see Rossi beat manky Marquez. C'mon Vale, you can do it!!!

I was a detractor before London 2012 but was quickly swayed once it started and this has been a wonderful legacy of that. One good thing is that this time, because of 2012, many of our athletes have had Olympic standard facilities to train with.

Thing that geed me up is that the Refs kept warning boxers for holding but never penalised any of them so they just carried on holding. That's all the French geezer did in the last round was cover up or hold.

Disolve three tablespoons of sugar in warm water and then liberally coat yourself with it. It won't stop the midges biting you but the sugar will rot their teeth so they can't bite anyone else

Bit of a drive for you but we go out with this chap fairly often and always had good catches. Thornback, Smoothound, Cod etc depending on season. http://www.chrismolecharters.com/