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The most annoying man in the world


Alex C
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I read a topic on here a few weeks back about people breathing down your neck whilst you are trying to shoot and just thought it was someone being over sensitive.I now know what he was on about !

 

On Sunday i had the misfortune of being followed by another party who had a chap with them who i have now classed as one of the most annoying people i have ever met.

 

We were taking a friend round who has just completed his basic training in the Army and is home on a pass, as a treat we took him to do some clays at one of the posher places up here. He was made up, loves shooting clays but doesnt often get the opportunity.

 

We had done a couple of stands and as he is a beginner with a shotgun we just wanted to get his stance right and get him comfortable with his mount etc. The aim was not to turn him into an A class shot in one morning, and as long as he was flinging lead down range he was happy (thats artillery for you i suppose)

 

At this point the group following caught us up. We had our young squaddie in the cage blasing away merrily probably hitting 50%. He walks up and gets so close behind our friend that he actually stopped on a second bird thinking it was one of us trying to give him some pointers. He realised what had happened and carried on with another pair. This annoying old bu**er then starts dishing out the advise as to why he isnt hitting some, your behind, in front, swing through etc which we though a bit much. :hmm:

 

I turned to the guy and said '' He is just a beginner we are not looking for him to hit them all, just getting him comfortable''

'' o right'' says this bloke and backs out of the way.

 

I then put down the buttons and turn to get my gun for my turn by which time this fella has leapt forward and occupied the cage. :sly:

He figures out he has jumped the queue and backs away.He then practically spends the next 10 clays clinging to my back and blowing sweet nothings in my ear about how much lead etc to hit the clays. Now if this was a pretty young lady that would have been fine, however i draw the line at daft old coffin dodgers.

 

This carried on for about the next 2 stands with all of us getting more and more annoyed.We knew something had to be done. We didnt want to be nasty to the guy, but we wanted some pay back for him spoiling our round up to that point.

 

A plan was hatched, we stopped between stands and faked a choke change, the fact we used my mates fixed choke sbs for this didnt seem to figure with our new unwanted coach. We let them get ahead and into the stand first.

 

We then rocked up behind him and started to play him at his own game. We formed a semi circle within inches of his shoulder everytime he shot. We sucked through our teeth every time he missed one, kept telling him he was behind even though he was so far in front he could have shot the next stands clays, we gave him tips and pointers and slowly watched his score disintergrate. My mate even started buttoning for him and faked flat batteries on the trap, waving the remote round and setting targets off at really unpredictable timings. :lol:

 

The straw that eventually broke the camels back was us ******* ourselves laughing as he tried to hit the rabbit. He missed every one and on the last practcally waited until it stopped before shoooting it.

'' That had bloody surrendered before you shot it'' says my friend, ''we should report you to the RSPCA for animal cruelty for that one'' all accompanied by howls of laughter.

 

Our new mate then turns a nice shade of red and while only just keeping his lid on, stalks off to shoot some of the emptier stands letting us carry on unmolested.

 

Hopefully he will think again before offering his unwanted service of coach to any other groups.

 

We ended our day with some great shooting and having had one of the best laughs in ages, and sent our squaddie mate back to barracks with a decent score card and a funny tale to tell :D

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I'm sure that most of us that have been clay shooting for a couple of years or more have had friends that have expressed an interest in having a "go" at Clay Pigeon shooting, and agreed to take them.

 

I dont think that anyone would argue that to a novice shooter a round of sporting is not the best introduction to the sport- They want 25 or 50 shots at some straightforward hittable targets- either a dedicated practice stand, a teal target or perhaps skeet stand 2.

 

So why is it that whenever you go to the most deserted clay ground with said shooting virgin in tow, checked that the ground has a Section 11 6 exemption and found a practice stand or empty skeet layout, by the sound of the third cartridge the "expert coach/monkey fluffer* (* delete as applicable)." will appear from nowhere to give his "advice". While it wont necessarily be bad advice, I've never seen it actively enhance the newbie's enjoyment and i have had one friend put off from comming shooting again as a result of one of these expert coach/ monkey fluffers - ( he's comment was that he has "to deal with enough ********* at work to want to spend time in their company at weekends ")

 

I won't lay any claim to being a fantastic shot myself and I'm not a coach, but i'm happy that i can impart enough to allow a newbie to "have a go" safely on a simple target and hit a few. Any friend that expresses a wish to go on from this would get pushed in the direction of a coach.

Edited by Canis
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Canis

 

This was exactly the situation we were in. I have only been shooting a couple of years but the other mate i was with is ex career military and has done more game and clay shooting than i have had hot dinners.

 

It is one of the only sports i have encountered so far where people seem to think they have the right to empart their worldly knowledge on you without an invite.

 

Strange some folk.

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Canis

 

This was exactly the situation we were in. I have only been shooting a couple of years but the other mate i was with is ex career military and has done more game and clay shooting than i have had hot dinners.

 

It is one of the only sports i have encountered so far where people seem to think they have the right to empart their worldly knowledge on you without an invite.

 

Strange some folk.

 

That's why I, (and quite a few others on this Forum), only shoot clays at Registered competitions, that sort of behaviour is not allowed.

 

Cat.

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Having only ever shot clays on corporate days I have not been subject to this kind of behaviour,

I don't think I could tolerate it!! I'd end up pulling the mouthy so and so's hat down over his eyes and putting him in the bin. :-)

 

I have played a fair bit of golf over the years and it surprises me that the same standards of etiquette (even just general good manners and courtesy) seem missing at a lot of shoots???

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Ohhh yes, this is something I find deeply irritating.

 

Every club has one, and if he isnt out ruining others pleasure on whichever stand you happen to be on, he can be found in the clubhouse, trying to but into other people's conversations.

 

There is one chap where I shoot who is ALWAYS in the clubhouse. I have yet to see him pick up a gun, but (according to him) he is one hell of a shot.

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I'm pretty much still a beginner having only been shooting a couple of years.

 

A couple of times I've gone to a clay ground when it's quiet to spend some time on a difficult

stand myself and just have time to think about what I'm doing, experiment with lead etc.

 

Every time I seem to pick up a 'friend' who isn't shy of giving unwanted 'advice' which

doesn't help. It's hard to think what's goign on when some numpty keeps talking at

you.

 

So far I've been too polite to tell them to ****** off.

 

:-(

 

Nial

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There used to be a chap like this at Worsley when i was starting out a few years ago, who we consequently nicknamed "The General"

 

Loved going round the course, but i rarely ever saw him shoot anything :lol:

 

 

I give them a voucher for £5 off my Clay Coaching DVD of me shooting, called "Muller 'em with El Magnifico"

 

They always seem eternally grateful :sly:

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I'm afraid i would not have been so polite.

We used to have a guy come down the rifle range just like that Harry Enfield character, "no you dont wont that rifle", "no you dont want to use that ammo" and so on.

This went on for several visits over the year, until my mate told him very politely and calmly to **** off before i ram this rifle up your ******* ****.

That was met with a "Ooer no need to be like that" he then moved on to annoy another shooter.

He only stopped after suffering a major heart attack.

 

Ian.

Edited by Vermincinerator
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Ohhh yes, this is something I find deeply irritating.

 

Every club has one, and if he isnt out ruining others pleasure on whichever stand you happen to be on, he can be found in the clubhouse, trying to but into other people's conversations.

 

There is one chap where I shoot who is ALWAYS in the clubhouse. I have yet to see him pick up a gun, but (according to him) he is one hell of a shot.

 

You can also substitue the word 'Club' for 'Forum'........

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We had similar at one of our local shoots... my shooting buddy straighted a stand - and came off to a quiet round 'well shot' from our group.

 

Up steps Mr Expert (lots of coach, top-shot embroidered badges all over his shooting vest), and offers this piece of advice:

 

"You know what you could have done better there...?"

 

Cue our response...

 

"Better than straighting it? Do you get points for style?"

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Lol popped for a cheeky round midweek last week with a mate, got stopped between stands by a regular bit of polite chit chat turned into an impromptu lesson and speech, as time ticked away he continued and then as we moved to the next stand he followed! I'm sure it was all well intended but am expecting some free "coaching" next I see him!

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