Any legal types who can advise

[TaxiDriver]

This is completely non shooting related but I desperately need some advice about a personal matter,

someone now trying to extort money out of me again after a brief affair nearly 4 years ago (not something I'm proud of either)

[Gordon R]

Speak to the Police. Blackmail is serious.

[Bleeh]

Start recording everything. Record every phone call, every meeting, every letter, any type of correspondence, record the time, the date, and word to word what was said. Use non-tangible evidence such as tape and video recordings.

 

Start doing this now, go to the police.

[Spiderdude]

As above.....

 

If you have the ability to record voices making such demands or even video evidence then record away.

 

I would certainly have a chat with my local CID, go the local nick and ask to speak to a detective. Don't entrust something this serious with beat officers.

 

Nothing against plods, but this is something that should be dealt with by CID.

 

JMHO

[Hunter_zero]

Fairly simple matter to deal with. As already suggested, you need to record all communications, making sure that the threat has been made clear in the conversation. I'm guessing you don't want the police involved due to exposing your secret but I doubt very much if the person who is trying to blackmail you wants the police involved either. Sent them a copy of the communications, with a covering letter to simply state that you completely refute the suggested allegations and should they wish you are more than happy to take matters up with the police should the blackmail turn to harassment.

 

John

Edited April 28, 2011 by Hunter_zero

[TaxiDriver]

Thanks for responses so far chaps.

 

I think it's more likely to fall under the realms of a civil matter rather than Police.

 

Basically I began an affair about 3+ years ago, with a woman who I hadn't seen in 25years

quickly realised it was no more than an infatuation and broke it off, whole thing lasted not more than about about 10 weeks.

 

The woman (lets call her Ms B) was unable or unwilling to accept this and begged by txt (660 in 2 months) to have me back, to be willing to share me with my wife (with whom I decided to work things out) with if only I'd carry on seeing her.

She also set out to make things as difficult as possible for me by turning up outside my home, texting my home landline, and putting notes through my elderly mothers' letterbox.

She then began to hint about her 'condition' and what was she expected to do ? I didn't believe she was in any condition other than being 'nuts' She had told me previously that she'd been left infertile by endometriosis(spelling?)

Then the next I hear she's not having a termination and I said she had to do what was right with her and that obviously I'd have to step up to my responsibilities financially as and when she has this supposed baby.

next thing, she's been and had an appointment about a termination at some mystery clinic in kent she thinks it was and has to go back in a couple of days time, she refused my offer to take her for the second appointment.

 

next I hear, she's had the second appointment which her best mate took her to, still couldn't say what the supposed clinic was called or where it was but none the less wanted £450 as my half the cost. I said fine, show me the bill and I'll sort it.

Both Ms B and her best mate then proceeded to harrass and harrange me by phone and text demanding money, this then went on to become telling everyone and anyone who knew me that I owed her or had stolen £450 or £500 from her.

 

At one point It had got to a point of having a less than desirable sort run me off the road on more than one occassion and actually threaten me with physical violence/harm if I didn't pay up.

 

Now, this was all 3(?) years ago, now recently she's heard that I'm coming into some money and has emailed out of the blue asking me to pay the £450 she is owed as she's waited long enough.

 

Truth is, it's my wife who has come into some money as a result of her parents passing away last year and their house finally being sold, So whilst my wife (and my mother) knows of my past indiscretion, she's unlikely to want to give any money away.

 

As I say, Its not an episode of my life that Im proud of and to a degree the grief has been my own stupid fault, but if ever something proved the old addage of "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" this has gotta be it.

[davecooper1]

Bet your glad you got shut of her, because shes shes not dealling with a full deck mate

[harrycatcat1]

Stick to shooting mate its less hassle

 

Its worn me out reading the story

[Blunderbuss]

What hold has she got over you to extort if your wife and mother know about the affair?

[Pheasant Feeder]

Positive side the affair is out in the open as far as wife is concerned so this woman as no leverage in that direction.

 

I would still think about the police, as you say some less than desirable has been involved. Also this does sound like harresment which if it was the other way round the police would take serious. Might be worth seeking advice with regards to obtaining an injunction to prevent further harrasment, depending upon the stability of the woman a solicitors letter might put sufficient fear in her to curtail her behavour, if not then a court injuction which would mean if she dissobeyed the injunction she would be in contempt of court leading to a criminal offence, which could lead to a custodial sentance.

 

Hope that helps.

[Jega]

Sorry to hear of your plight mate ,right first thing to do is get down to your solicitor and seek an injunction against Ms B contacting you ,on grounds of harassment .

You should definitley start to keep a log and any records of unwanted contact for evidential purposes.

[TaxiDriver]

What hold has she got over you to extort if your wife and mother know about the affair?

I don't think she has any 'hold' as such, only that we don't want the grief.

My position hasn't changed, for reasons stated above I doubt she suddenly had a complete change of heart and had a termination at a mystery clinic that she can't name nor knows where it is/was and supposedly doesn't keep any records, give invoices/receipts.

[MaybeNextTime]

Formal complaint mate. Uniform will conduct a visit round hers to discuss her behaviour and you may well find that puts a sharp end to the matter.

 

Snivelling low lives rarely like the glare of official attention on their business.

 

Last time I needed to know, terminations in the UK were free on the NHS although a surgical abortion from Marie Stopes could rack up over a grand.

[Thunderbird]

I don't believe a word about the termination, and in any case you don't have them at 'private clinics' at least it's not usual.

[HDAV]

termination at a mystery clinic that she can't name nor knows where it is/was and supposedly doesn't keep any records, give invoices/receipts.

Unless she went to a back street knitting needle jobbie there will be records (as there are for all medical treatment/procedures) Obviously the data is confidential but records will be kept. Go to the police and explain that you are being "extorted" get a restraining order if necessary, If you get abusive texts or calls speak to mobile/landline provider they now have monitoring procedures in place and record the data when asked too.

[ozzy518]

Sounds to me mate that this is a clear case of Harassment. I would report the matter to your local police taking with you any evidence that you have. What normally happens is that the guilty party receives a visit from a police officer who gives them a Harassment warning under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997.

She will be advised that her conduct towards you is causing either Harassment Alarm or Distress and that should she continue with her course of conduct she would be liable to arrest and prosecution.

 

The warnings normally do the trick, but should she continue she would be arrested and potentially be charged to court (depending on her previous offending history) where they could impose a Restraining Order. These if breached are arrestable.

 

The other route as suggested is via a civil injunction. You will need to see a solicitor , pay an amount of your hard earned, and get the injunction imposed which, unless comes with a power of arrest, will be as much use as a **** in a spacesuit.

[ME]

sounds like you got a proper nutter there.

 

you need a better interview process. try letting your brain do the thinking next time....

[Flashman]

Thanks for responses so far chaps.

 

I think it's more likely to fall under the realms of a civil matter rather than Police.

 

Basically I began an affair about 3+ years ago, with a woman who I hadn't seen in 25years

quickly realised it was no more than an infatuation and broke it off, whole thing lasted not more than about about 10 weeks.

 

The woman (lets call her Ms B) was unable or unwilling to accept this and begged by txt (660 in 2 months) to have me back, to be willing to share me with my wife (with whom I decided to work things out) with if only I'd carry on seeing her.

She also set out to make things as difficult as possible for me by turning up outside my home, texting my home landline, and putting notes through my elderly mothers' letterbox.

She then began to hint about her 'condition' and what was she expected to do ? I didn't believe she was in any condition other than being 'nuts' She had told me previously that she'd been left infertile by endometriosis(spelling?)

Then the next I hear she's not having a termination and I said she had to do what was right with her and that obviously I'd have to step up to my responsibilities financially as and when she has this supposed baby.

next thing, she's been and had an appointment about a termination at some mystery clinic in kent she thinks it was and has to go back in a couple of days time, she refused my offer to take her for the second appointment.

 

next I hear, she's had the second appointment which her best mate took her to, still couldn't say what the supposed clinic was called or where it was but none the less wanted £450 as my half the cost. I said fine, show me the bill and I'll sort it.

Both Ms B and her best mate then proceeded to harrass and harrange me by phone and text demanding money, this then went on to become telling everyone and anyone who knew me that I owed her or had stolen £450 or £500 from her.

 

At one point It had got to a point of having a less than desirable sort run me off the road on more than one occassion and actually threaten me with physical violence/harm if I didn't pay up.

 

Now, this was all 3(?) years ago, now recently she's heard that I'm coming into some money and has emailed out of the blue asking me to pay the £450 she is owed as she's waited long enough.

 

Truth is, it's my wife who has come into some money as a result of her parents passing away last year and their house finally being sold, So whilst my wife (and my mother) knows of my past indiscretion, she's unlikely to want to give any money away.

 

As I say, Its not an episode of my life that Im proud of and to a degree the grief has been my own stupid fault, but if ever something proved the old addage of "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" this has gotta be it.

I can't be bothered to read the above quoted blathering: I presume it is a defence for some naughtiness you have perpetrated.

 

Quick advice: take your punishment like a man a stop whining like a girl.

Edited April 28, 2011 by Flashman

[Blunderbuss]

I can't be bothered to read the above quoted blathering: I presume it is a defence for some naughtiness you have perpetrated.

 

Quick advice: take your punishment like a man a stop whining like a girl.

 

Professional counsellor?

[Harwoodandy]

Professional counsellor?

 

I think Flashman is the NHS version of "counselling in a recession - the Cameron way"

Such understanding and tenderness - his talents could plainly be utilised by the dept. of work and pensions to get the long term unemployed back to work

[Fisherman Mike]

As I say, Its not an episode of my life that Im proud of and to a degree the grief has been my own stupid fault, but if ever something proved the old addage of "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" this has gotta be it.

 

 

NO it illustrates the Old Adage...." Married Man should keep **** in trousers at all times"

 

Any female members want to post up in defence of the Ladies side of the story.

[UKPoacher]

Unless I am missing something, I think this would not be Harassment as dealt with by the police simply because the police would not be able to establish whether the other party has a right to collect monies owing. The Protection From Harassment Act allows for a defence whereby a course of conduct can be justified as in collecting maintainance or rent.

 

My advice would be to make an appointment with a CAB solicitor and ask them to draft a letter acknowledging her right to claim, outlining your position regarding the claim and specifying a course of action such as mediation or small claims court that would be acceptable to both parties. That way if she continues to pester you then you can evidence the unreasonable behaviour against your willingness to deal with matter in a civilised manner. Then it becomes a Harassment.

[officerdibble777]

it's bad enough having constapation street or jeesblenders banging in the background when I'm trying to have a good read on PW without this

be a man and tell her where to go

 

john