mel b3 Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Who remembers those Izal shiny paper toilet rolls? We used to have them in the school bogs. Ah , the scratch and slide special. The trick was to ruffle it up then smooth it back out before use , this also works with , news of the world , daily mail , the sun , the telegraph , but not the very shiny radio times or anglers mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d foxxer Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 I thought that you were supposed to lay a strip of it on the floor and drag your bum along like a dog with worms , or is that just me . spot on even better on a dewey field like a country side bidet wash an polish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodp Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 showing my age now, we had those at home when I was a kid, two sided, rough side first then the smooth side 'to polish' funniest thread for quite a while We didn't, communal bog in the middle of a cobbled and dirt yard with squares of newspaper hanging off an old nail. Bog door had big gaps top and bottom ................ let the flies out I suppose I go in the Black Country Museum and see houses the same as I used to live in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobbyathome Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Who remembers those Izal shiny paper toilet rolls? We used to have them in the school bogs. oh dear I remember it well you could wipe your a ss and it would just be smeared further up ha ha not even a sharp finger would go through that tracing paper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconFN Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 I understood it was the mat with "welcome" written on it that served for this job Its not often you have to wipe your feet after you leave a house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
four-wheel-drive Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Ah , the scratch and slide special. The trick was to ruffle it up then smooth it back out before use , this also works with , news of the world , daily mail , the sun , the telegraph , but not the very shiny radio times or anglers mail. Newspaper cut in to squares and a piece of string threaded through the corner and hung up worked ok only you would end up with a black *** from the ink that they used. :sad1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKPoacher Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Newspaper cut in to squares and a piece of string threaded through the corner and hung up worked ok only you would end up with a black *** from the ink that they used. :sad1: But think of the pleasure of wiping your ***** on Piers Morgan's face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smokersmith Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Now ... if there were instructions on waders telling you to be extremely careful when taking a **** on the marsh ... that would have been helpful. Finishing, pulling your shoulder strap round, and realising it was laying 'in the danger zone' is a mistake you only make once Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toontastic Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Needing instructions on how to wipe your own **** I for one really appreciate that you've taken the time to pass on this info and have forwarded it to an elderly relative. The elderly relative would be grateful it someone could also forward her the instructions on how to suck eggs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McSpredder Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 .....that tracing paperVery handy when you had homework to finish, and had lost the tiny piece of tracing paper provided by the teacher (no duplicators or photocopiers in schools in the 1950s). At college there was the luxury of soft tissue, until admin realised we were using vast quantities to mop up oil (engineering students, with leaky old cars and motorbikes). They changed over to the shiny stuff, which nearly caused a riot. We promised to be good in future, and they let us have soft stuff again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyflier Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 I recall an old engine driver taking a dump in the back of his Railway overcoat cos he hadn't flipped it away from the danger zone. The coat was unceremoniously thrown out of the bog window. (There was little health and safety then) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodp Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Now ... if there were instructions on waders telling you to be extremely careful when taking a **** on the marsh ... that would have been helpful. Finishing, pulling your shoulder strap round, and realising it was laying 'in the danger zone' is a mistake you only make once That's similar to when you were a young man, and the young lady you were taking home suddenly decided she needed a wee. Pull in layby, she runs in woods and is crouched down with one hand on a tree for balance. When the fresh air reacts with the alcohol the hand on the tree slips and down she goes, right into the puddle on her big fat butt How can you not collapse laughing when that happens, but they don't see the funny side at all :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 mate got taken short when we were out duck shooting we were in a deep dyke and he nipped off ........when he was away some Teal come in over where he was...i shouted out and heard a couple of bangs and a lot of swearing..........he was squatting at the top edge of the dyke and took a couple of shots when he was offloading his squitters...the recoil pushed him back over the edge of the dyke and straight into lasts nights 10 pints and a curry.....it was everywhere....ugh....and he had the cheek to ask me to scrape it off.......i declined.....so he ended up rolling on the grass like a mare that been hacked hard all day........very funny....christ he stunk on the way home... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortune Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 I heard about the mech that got caught short and off loaded into the back of his overalls in the layby hedge. When he came out he had, had to get his penknife out and cut around the waist and discard the top half. when he got back to the van he got a length of wire and made some slits in the waist bit to thread the wire through to make a belt with to hold them up. He went to the store with a story of how the overalls got caught up on a machine and ripped and he had, had to cut the damaged bit off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyflier Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 I could tell you all of a very true story about the worst bottle of wine in the world and a visit to the island of Gozo, but I don't think I have the time to write it out..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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