FalconFN Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Interesting point. I found training my dog quite easy so when I found out my wife was pregnant with our first i thought well can't be that hard children are more intelligent than dogs and you speak the same laungage. Oh, how we laugh about it now Dan But are your kids any good at retreiving? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reddan Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 But are your kids any good at retreiving? no, I use the kids for flushing and the dog for retreving. They are an ideal size for ditches and thick cover. Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieT Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) All I can say is that thank the lord that I and my children come from an age when a light smack was considered the most effective way of teaching a child that they had crossed the line. You will note that I used the term light smack not slap, hit or the other verbs akin to physical abuse so beloved by the opponents of smacking. My well adjusted sucessful children, who have grown up into caring parents themselves, often comment on how thankful they are that they were brought up as they were and how they follow my example with their own children as they consider they received the ideal balance of love discipline, smacks and all. If I had a second crack at bringing up my children I would do exactly as I did the first time round. Kiss them when they were good and smack them when they were naughty but love them all the time. Edited May 8, 2011 by CharlieT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyska Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 So what does one do when the situation doesn't remain calm? When the child has a 3 hour screaming tantrum at bedtime, flat refusing to buy into any positive parenting strategies? We were there this week, my wife tried a nurturing cuddling approach which was met with flailing arms and legs in which she was smacked in the face. What do you do in that situation? Call the Police and have him taken in? I'll tell you what I did, I gave him a single smack on the bum and 15 minutes later he was in bed asleep and the next day apologised for his behaviour. Up to you what you did to your child, I just don't agree with it, if it worked, then great. I've no issues with people using these tactics, I just don't agree, and the notion that we have moulded a new grotesque breed of children because don slap them enough. You've missed my point, Kdubya's link promoted discipline, but only when the situation is calm, you've obviouly not read that. What happens when the smack on the *** doesn't work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdubya Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 To the 'all todays kids need is a slap and national service' exponents, I ask you; If you took a poll of all the prison inmates of this country, what percentage of them, do you think, have never been physically punished? I imagine it to be very low indeed. good kids tend not to need a smack now and then, and good kids dont usually end up in the nick, apart from the really over the top pamperd ner do wells that is, like david gilmores kid soon to be sent down :lol: wonder if he got the belt now and then? nah dont be daft when you have money and nannies your brought up right ooh dont be a naughty little boy! there you are dear that worked. KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) Very nice of you to assume so. Do me a favour, though. Click on the link in my sig. There you will see my daughter. She has leukaemia. She's had almost two year's worth of the most horrific chemotherapy and related procedures... Platelet and blood transfusions, countless courses of antibiotics, surgical procedures, and whatever the hell else. Prior to her being struck down, I never hit her. Thought about it, yes, but never did. Look into your child's eyes when they've been through the **** she has, and you'd never hit your child again. Believe me. That one deserves a yellow card.. Whilst I sympathise with your daughter's plight, it has nothing to do with whether physical punishment is right or wrong... I get upset if my kids have colds, won't stop me disciplining them if they need it! If I am ever struck down with anything before my mum dies, I am sure she will be devastated, I will always be her little boy... But trust me, the slaps I got as a kid I well and truly deserved, whether it was from my school teachers, parents (rarely) or the copper who caught me and dougy nelson smoking on the roof of Nat West in Chorley after a 'concerned citizen' called the police to tell them robbers were breaking into the bank Edited May 8, 2011 by Vipa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconFN Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 good kids tend not to need a smack now and then, and good kids dont usually end up in the nick, apart from the really over the top pamperd ner do wells that is, like david gilmores kid soon to be sent down :lol: wonder if he got the belt now and then? nah dont be daft when you have money and nannies your brought up right ooh dont be a naughty little boy! there you are dear that worked. KW He probably went to private school where beatings were the least of his problems. Anyone for a biscuit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
humperdingle Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 That one deserves a yellow card.. Whilst I sympathise with your daughter's plight, it has nothing to do with whether physical punishment is right or wrong... I get upset if my kids have colds, won't stop me disciplining them if they need it! It reinforces my belief. As I've said previously, there's no point in trying to dissuade people from smacking their kids. They will or they won't, and I certainly don't try to belittle people who choose to smack their kids. Anyway, it's obviously an emotive subject. We're all adults here, and i'm certainly not going to lose any sleep over who smacks their kids and who doesn't. If our kids are well behaved and happy, then we're all doing a good job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 It reinforces my belief. As I've said previously, there's no point in trying to dissuade people from smacking their kids. They will or they won't, and I certainly don't try to belittle people who choose to smack their kids. Anyway, it's obviously an emotive subject. We're all adults here, and i'm certainly not going to lose any sleep over who smacks their kids and who doesn't. If our kids are well behaved and happy, then we're all doing a good job. exxxactly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly321 Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 theres better ways of dealing with things then smacking your kids its shamefull if you have to do it ,try talking to them instead of being a bully Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaybeNextTime Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 So what does one do when the situation doesn't remain calm? When the child has a 3 hour screaming tantrum at bedtime, flat refusing to buy into any positive parenting strategies? We were there this week, my wife tried a nurturing cuddling approach which was met with flailing arms and legs in which she was smacked in the face. What do you do in that situation? Call the Police and have him taken in? I'll tell you what I did, I gave him a single smack on the bum and 15 minutes later he was in bed asleep and the next day apologised for his behaviour. One of my 4 was the same. Broad spectrum autism with lots of associated behavioural problems including a tendency to sociopathy. 3 hour screaming fits were common place. Nothing, and I do mean nothing would work. She burned through specialist socials workers, support staff and teachers like a knife through butter. Once you've been through that for a few years you begin to understand why some parents snap. I held her mother off her several times. The trick was to spot the build up behaviour and deal with it quick. The mildest of slapped bums would be enough although you could be there all day with naughty steps and a disapproving tone. Incapable of understanding other peoples emotions you understand. Of course you must never get angry, save that for when they set fire to the carpet in a serious attempt to kill their siblings. I laugh when people tell me some of their parenting strategies for dealing with situations when little Gemima just won't do her homework. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 When my mum smacked me I don't think she was looking to bully me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triscrx Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 I had a clip round the head if I stepped out of line when I was younger, (29 now) my Childhood was a happy one. I was one of 4 boys who all received a smack if we were naughty. My old man was from a very strict background from an age where it was normal to hit children and sadly had a very bad childhood with his Dad beating not just him but his mother. Child abuse and hitting your child for being naughty are very different in my opinion. I do not look back at our childhood and see it as abuse and in my opinion abuse is if it is dished out without reason. If I wasn't naughty I wouldn't get a smack simple. Kept me in line and all 4 of us have grown up and led a successful life to date with solid family values and a good moral upbringing. I respect my elders and have a disciplined life prob more so as we all joined the forces. I think all the pink & fluffy answers referencing a deserved smack to abuse need to get a grip. A smack when naughty never did me any harm or left me feeling 'abused' of course in some cases as we have seen throughout this post some have been abused or beaten and a friend of mine was beaten by his dad I do not know the in's and outs but from what I have heard it was a power trip for his dad. This is clearly abuse. However a clip across the legs for running into a road or similar is fine in my opinion. The line is quite black and white to me between abuse and a smack for being naughty. It is like banning guns due to one idiot like we see in the news all too often now. Be easy to just stamp guns as dangerous and unncessary however on investigation it is the holder of the firearm that can make it safe/dangerous. The same goes for a smack. It can be used in a safe way to control children responsibly or taken to extremes and lead to abuse. Used correctly it is safe and can work but step over the line and it can be abusive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 If I had a second crack at bringing up my children I would do exactly as I did the first time round. Kiss them when they were good and smack them when they were naughty but love them all the time. It took 6 pages for common sense to prevail but we got there in the end. I was taken into the headmasters office at primary school with 2 others for disrupting assembly, we were all given the slipper, was I abused bullied or brutalised? no - did I deserve it? yes did I learn from it hell yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boromir Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Prison poll you take away what they want but most will still commit a crime when there out again. So if you take away something a child wants they know they'll get it back one day, so are you really teaching them? A smack meanwhile will give him something to remember and they'll think twice about doing something wrong again. I don't have any children yet but when the day comes ill smack them, I hope I don't have to though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyska Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 It took 6 pages for common sense to prevail but we got there in the end. I was taken into the headmasters office at primary school with 2 others for disrupting assembly, we were all given the slipper, was I abused bullied or brutalised? no - did I deserve it? yes did I learn from it hell yes IMO your common sense needs adjusting, If your kids are good..kiss them...if they don't do as you tell them, slap them? And yes, you were abused and bullied, nostalgia reigns again... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 I got smacked but had a happy childhood from a living home. My parents are still together after 45 years. I feel sorry for those that weren't as lucky as me because it's clear that this topic is "raking over the coals" and making objectivity difficult Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 I remember getting a right belting when i was about 8 - was it because i walked in to the kitchen with some freshly guddled sea troot on a Sunday no it was because the estate factor was in the living room talking to my old man :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 IMO and there you have it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GW80 Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 I would have to add that raising children is a bit like training a dog. Some kids are maybe a bit strong willed or hard headed and respond to a slap when they have done wrong. , while there may be others that are of a more softer nature that just need scolding to know they have wronged. I was a bit of a wild child when growing up and received plenty from my fathers belt, he was the man that I looked to for guidance in life and in my eyes he done a good job, both my parents used force as punishment when needed and they raised 4 good children, my only regret is if i ever have children of my own i will not be able to ask them for advice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sarakun Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Very interesting thread this, which has suprised me too. I must have perfect children. Never, in the almost 13 years of ownership, have I ever felt the need or a good enough reason, to smack any of my 3 children. Neither has their mother. I stand on the same side of the fence as utectok, MM, and Kyska. Kyska's view is mine entirely. I talk good disciplinary action, but never administer it, and the wave of unexpected rhetoric that exudes from my mouth, probably suprises my children as much as it does me and their mother, which creates a distraction from whatever it was exuded for in the first place. My kids are also well behaved, polite, respectful blah blah, and I have no magic potion. Maybe I give my children something others can not, in this modern, hectic life we lead. I give them time. Nothing is too much trouble to me or their mother, where they are concerned. The eldest is home educated, the two youngest probably will be.. I was beaten as a child, and thought at that time, there must be another way to bring up children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vipa Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) Very interesting thread this, which has suprised me too. I must have perfect children. Never, in the almost 13 years of ownership, have I ever felt the need or a good enough reason, to smack any of my 3 children. Neither has their mother. I stand on the same side of the fence as utectok, MM, and Kyska. Kyska's view is mine entirely. I talk good disciplinary action, but never administer it, and the wave of unexpected rhetoric that exudes from my mouth, probably suprises my children as much as it does me and their mother, which creates a distraction from whatever it was exuded for in the first place. My kids are also well behaved, polite, respectful blah blah, and I have no magic potion. Maybe I give my children something others can not, in this modern, hectic life we lead. I give them time. Nothing is too much trouble to me or their mother, where they are concerned. The eldest is home educated, the two youngest probably will be.. I was beaten as a child, and thought at that time, there must be another way to bring up children. And there we go AGAIN..... will you please stop associating properly administered corporal punishment with abuse, violence and beatings..... they are worlds apart... Perhaps it is nothing to do with the fact that you 'give your children something others can't' please don't be so pious and condescending to imply that those of us who have had to administer said corporal punishment are not being good parents or giving our children 'time' You have stated you were 'beaten' as a child... I am sorry, that is very sad and I'm sure it will affect how you discipline your children. You may also have children that are not 'difficult' and so have never needed stronger discipline than a good talking to... I was disciplined as a child, with the cane at school, with the back of a copper's hand for lying about why we were on the roof of Nat West in Chorley and on very rare occasion by my parents (usually for smoking!) I can hand on heart say, I deserved every single one and it is the only thing (fear of consequence of) that made me stop and think about what I was about to do! Next time you have a 3 year old who has crayoned on somemone elses wall for the third time, after having the telling off, the calm chat, the treats and toys taken away etc.. etc... some children do not respond to reason! I feel I am pretty qualified in this area, having 4 children of quite different emotional and personality types... I do not administer corporal punishment willy nilly, it is done with thought and is only ever done if absolutely necessary... If it was done in any other way, I would have 'abused, bullied and beaten' all of my children. As it stands only 2 of them have not responded to other methods of discipline and only the little chap has had a smack more than once... it is what works with him and therefore, when necessary, it will be used until we reach the point where he is old enough to respond to reason or withdrawal of treats etc... Edited May 8, 2011 by Vipa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Lots of ghosts of the past in this thread. Unless you have lived it you won't know that you can just get a smack growing up and still have had a good child hood from a loving home. If you never experienced just a smack that didn't end up in something far worse then that will affect your views and judgment. It might also make you a teensy weensy bit blinkered in your view..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reddan Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) Lots of ghosts of the past in this thread. Unless you have lived it you won't know that you can just get a smack growing up and still have had a good child hood from a loving home. If you never experienced just a smack that didn't end up in something far worse then that will affect your views and judgment. It might also make you a teensy weensy bit blinkered in your view..... I agree, there is a difference. Thinking back I don't think I got that many smacks but I do remember (like it was yesterday) sitting in my room waiting for my father to get home from work and my mum to tell him what a **** I had been. And all that could bring. Dan Edited May 8, 2011 by reddan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbuster Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Think this is one of those posts where people are going to have to agree to dis-agree. It's just going round in circles now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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