Thunderbird Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 This is one I saw done as a young squaddie, very, very cruel - don't try this at home kids. A guy who suffered from chalfonts left his tube of treatment cream unattended. Another bloke removed the top half inch or so of cream from the tube and carefully replaced it, with some kind of linament Algipan or Ralgex (think deep heat). He proper screamed when he next used it, I don't think his clacker valve was ever the same again. Also as a young soldier on a barrack in night when we'd all been scrubbing the block ready for a big inspection. One of the blokes got a mars bar and gave it a bit of a suck and chew and moulded it a bit so it looked like a big mersey trout, then put it in the gleaming, recently cleaned bath. He arranged it artfully, even producing some very realistic chocolate skid marks Matey who was responsible for cleaning the ablutions found it and ran into our room screaming "you'll never believe this, some dirty bsatard has **** in the bath"! Everyone ran to look and the perpetrator grabbed the offending Richard and took a bite out of it. The ablutions needed a proper clean after that, from all the resulting puke! Hee hee, I can just see that now! What a dull life I lead... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garyb Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Ordering smutty catalogues full of porn and sex toys to a colleagues work postal address.. He still gets them 5 years later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mad1 Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Our favourite childish trick was to fold and tape one side of a empty toilet role tube closed then fill the inside with grease ( blackjack was the best) and go into the toilets and put it under the seat with the open end facing forward so when the victim pulled there trousers down and sat down it would squash the grease out into the insides of there trouseres Childish but loads of fun It's comical watching them walking out the toilets walking like john Wayne ........ Priceless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy. Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 This had me literally wetting myself. Best practical joke by far. If you're at work, give it a try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobt Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 One of the lads had a wheeltrim missing, he asked at the garage it was going to be £30 for a new one, we told him we could get him one for a tenner, no questions asked, the next day I gave him a nice clean wheeltrim, he paid me a tenner, when he went to put it on the car, he realised I had taken it from his car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr who? Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 While at school , I used to superglue a drawing pin to the bottom of a door handle , Whats the first thing you do when you ***** your finger , straight in the mouth . I should mention here that I used to smear dog **** on the pin! Also , A friend of mine use to live in a house where his bedroom overlooked a public call box . After noting down the call boxes number , We used to wipe dog **** around the ear piece , retreat back to his bedroom and wait..... As soon as we saw someone walking by the phone box , We would dial the number and wait for the person to nip in and answer the call! On answering a ear full of dog **** and kids laughing at you down the phone!!!! All the very best fellas . Andy . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunkield Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Mungler, are you gay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrispti Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 This is one I saw done as a young squaddie, very, very cruel - don't try this at home kids. A guy who suffered from chalfonts left his tube of treatment cream unattended. Another bloke removed the top half inch or so of cream from the tube and carefully replaced it, with some kind of linament Algipan or Ralgex (think deep heat). He proper screamed when he next used it, I don't think his clacker valve was ever the same again. Also as a young soldier on a barrack in night when we'd all been scrubbing the block ready for a big inspection. One of the blokes got a mars bar and gave it a bit of a suck and chew and moulded it a bit so it looked like a big mersey trout, then put it in the gleaming, recently cleaned bath. He arranged it artfully, even producing some very realistic chocolate skid marks Matey who was responsible for cleaning the ablutions found it and ran into our room screaming "you'll never believe this, some dirty bsatard has **** in the bath"! Everyone ran to look and the perpetrator grabbed the offending Richard and took a bite out of it. The ablutions needed a proper clean after that, from all the resulting puke! Our troop Sgt warned us off that the new troop commander was going to do a surprise block inspection the following morning, and we were to make sure we ''sort it out'' Our block had single man rooms. In no particular order; Troopy and Tp sgt come round just after 0700 to find one of the lads black nasty'd to a pole in the drying room, telling the troopy he'd been there all night. Another lad was sat in his arm chair in his room, naked, wearing only his respirator, legs spread and hanging over the arms of the chair, bashing one out as fast as he could to a rather loud playing XXX film. 2 other lads got into bed with each other, spoon position, troopy walked in, jaw dropped, and he rapidly walked out. The mars bar trick as you have described, placed at the base of one of the toilets, troopy spots it and starts going into one, block NCO picks it up and eats it. The troopys face was a picture! he soon cottoned on to what was going on as nobody could hold the tears back any longer. Miss them good days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northeastshooter Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Swopped the letters round on my managers key board to spell out "you wa#ker" laxatives in the water bottle or the lad who bikes in very day lol FBI wanted poster for the same guy fo interfearing with farm yard animals got my brother (who works with me) to weld a pipe up had to sneak alittle bit or acytaline in the pipe. put a broom down his coat sleaves while he was wearing it and lifted hi up on the forklift only afoot off the floor then went for 15min break screwed peoples tool boxs to the bench meger meteres are fun as well two drawing pins on a seat not only do they get pricked but asmall electric shock as well lol wonder i havnt been sacked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeds chimp Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 had a relief guard in yesterday so played human pingpong. Calling him to different parts of the store all day and watching people that we knew and told them to act dodgy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
humperdingle Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 A very simple one here... If someone is drinking a can of juice, while they're not looking, put a tiny hole with a drawing pin or name badge pin just below the top rim, under the opening, but above the fluid line. When they take a sip, the juice will run down their neck. It's fun seeing how many drinks they'll take before realising they've been duped! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikky Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 (edited) any new receptionists at work,we get them to tannoy.....will mike hunt please come to reception..mike hunt to reception mikky Edited January 27, 2012 by mikky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikky Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 any new lads we used to teach them the phonetic alphabet A IS FOR ALPHA K IS FOR KENNY B IS FOR BODY and get them to say alphakennybody really fast over the radio mikky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
escortmagnum999 Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Iv worked on building sites for ten years so iv had a few and dished a few out. Tying knots i boiler suit legs etc... The best one iv ever seen was when i was still apprentice and the lads used to drop me off at the bottom of the road. I used to be in the back of the transit and ijust bailed out the back door so they hardly had to stop. On the day they got me they had nailed my bag to the van floor, so as i jumped out i was being dragged down the road! Why i didnt leave go of the bag eludes me but very funny even tho i had gravel rash for a couple of weeks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullet1747 Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 cling film over toilet bowl works a treat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boromir Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Freezing temperatures and a bucket of water, put water on a sleight slope and watch the person who you dont like slip onto his **** in front of his mates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yankeedoodlepigeon Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Here's one for anyone who posts their new phone number on Facebook That is class :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linny Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 (edited) One of my all time favourites is the cup. A polystyrene cup with a dollop of grease on the bottom is carefully placed atop the victims hardhat. It can stay on there unnoticed for hours. I saw a mahoosif starbucks cup on the hard hat of a random worker nipping out for lunch when I was in London a few years ago. Poor bloke looked like such a chop. yes ive done that the bloke with the white hard hat has a blue smoke detector cover on his hat walked about the site quite a while :lol:double sided tape great stuff Edited January 27, 2012 by linny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 (edited) Mungler and another guy (Matt S) are monkeys for slipping the salt & pepper pots and knives and forks in your jacket pocket if you are out for a meal. Matt S slipped a knife and fork into the jacket pocket of a solicitor who was going to court straight after. Imagine his face when he went thru the court metal detector and had to empty his pockets.... :lol: :lol: Poontang and I booked Bagsy a 4am alarm call in the hotel at the last charity shoot. The guy on reception actually asked us if it was a wind up because "some people do it as a joke you know" :lol: what a bell end! Edited January 27, 2012 by ME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 I've always had a talent for mimicking other people's voices. Years back (before Iraq or Afghan before the grief whores get started), a mate of mine was detached to go aboard a submarine for 4 months. I cant remember why, but I had to phone his wife about some mundane nonsense whilst he was away. Ring ring... ring ring... Her: Hello? Me (in very posh tones): Hello, is that Mrs X? Her (nervously): yes... Me: This is Commander Smedley-Farthington (or somesuch rubbish) from The Admiralty. I'm afraid I have some rather bad news about your husband..... Her: <sound of phone hitting the floor>... Me: Hello? Hello? Not really... Hello?? Cue fast house visit. Harsh? Yes, but this was the man who ordered an enormous sex toy, addressed it to his wife and then had it delivered to work knowing that she would be asked to come and identify the contents. Poor lass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsdad Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 We did a great one at uni (medical school rugby team so you can imagine the depths sunk to). One guy always used to get so paralytic he would pass out and wet his bed so he used to always sleep naked (not really sure of that logic but anyway...). After a good session and back at his digs we carried on drinking and eventually he went off to pass out on his bed. So we got a condom and mixed a little mayonnaise with a little water and put it in the condom. We then (using a pencil) pushed the condom half way up his ****. We all waited the next morning and then a couple of is asked him: "Chris, who was that bloke who left your room this morning? He looked like a right bender...?" or something along those lines. To see all of the colour drain from his face at the realisation of what he thought had happened to his bottom! We let him in on the prank. 6 weeks later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Spat in condom pushed up the bum of a spectacularly drunk friend using a pencil, followed by lots of "you were acting well gay" banter the next day... Sliding a chocolate button between your good lady's bumcheeks while she sleeps and then watching her pretend she didnt poop herself in the night... :yp: :yp: :yp: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsdad Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Spat in condom pushed up the bum of a spectacularly drunk friend using a pencil, followed by lots of "you were acting well gay" banter the next day... Sliding a chocolate button between your good lady's bumcheeks while she sleeps and then watching her pretend she didnt poop herself in the night... :yp: :yp: :yp: Beat you to the first one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screamingdead Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 A colleague went to Australia for 3 weeks, so we "cressed" his keyboard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ack-ack Posted January 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Spat in condom pushed up the bum of a spectacularly drunk friend using a pencil, followed by lots of "you were acting well gay" banter the next day... Sliding a chocolate button between your good lady's bumcheeks while she sleeps and then watching her pretend she didnt poop herself in the night... :yp: :yp: :yp: Bloody hell, I'd not go drinking with your lot Thats like bum rape with stationary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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