neil3728 Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 It is very bad form, Get you Wife to reply stating that as you are not invited she will not be attending either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_seagrave Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 I don't know why many of you chaps are being so self-righteous about this. It is wholly up to the couple who they choose to invite. If they want your other half and not you it's their prerogative. I certainly think that whatever you decide to do privately (for whatever reasons), you should be the bigger man and wish them all the best for the future. LS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 I don't know why many of you chaps are being so self-righteous about this. It is wholly up to the couple who they choose to invite. If they want your other half and not you it's their prerogative. I certainly think that whatever you decide to do privately (for whatever reasons), you should be the bigger man and wish them all the best for the future. LS Clicky work do's aside and talking family, friendy, relationy wedlocks, would you go to a wedding that your wife wasn't invited to ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoot and be safe Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 Clicky work do's aside and talking family, friendy, relationy wedlocks, would you go to a wedding that your wife wasn't invited to ? If I was a bigamist I would Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stumfelter Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 I don't know why many of you chaps are being so self-righteous about this. It is wholly up to the couple who they choose to invite. If they want your other half and not you it's their prerogative. I certainly think that whatever you decide to do privately (for whatever reasons), you should be the bigger man and wish them all the best for the future. LS I agree, if the Mrs gets an invite and I don't it's no buggy. She doesn't come to my beating do's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex C Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 I think its more the question of why would your wife even consider accepting if you have been left out ? I can understand if it was one of her work friends who you had never met, but that doesn't seem to be the case here ? I would be more annoyed with the wife than anyone else ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livefast123 Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 Of course it is their choice who comes but in my opinion it is extremly poor form to invite one half of a married couple. When we got married in May we had that dilemma wth 2 of the Mrs friends, however we asked the husbands who declined anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winnie&bezza Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 You don't have a reputation as a wife stealer do you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenboy Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 Perhaps they invited her other fella Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juby trap Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 the next time they've got car trouble send the wife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Bb Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 the next time they've got car trouble send the wife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehb102 Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 It is incredibly bad manners to exclude one half of a social unit from a social event. Social unit means husband, wife or fiancée. I would extend that to people living as married, but I am terribly liberal. I have also got all versions if Debrett's guide to modern manners for reference if anyone would like further evidence. If people invite work colleagues to a wedding, which is a social event, they are already mixing business and social. Partners are not invited because it is not a proper social invitation. To invite a wife but not a husband to a social event (unless it is a single gender event like a bachelor party) is a huge faux pas, unless the husband is being given the cut direct by the inviting people. Then the wife, presuming she does not consider that her husband warrants the cut direct, should decline the invitation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartynGT4 Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 (edited) That would **** me off too, not so much the not being invited but the Mrs not being offended. Life's too short to get too wound up by it though, it would probably be a long boring day for you anyway. If I were you I'd just wait for the day they ask for car help and take great pleasure telling them to **** right off! Edited January 19, 2016 by MartynGT4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrowningB525 Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 It is incredibly bad manners to exclude one half of a social unit from a social event. Social unit means husband, wife or fiancée. I would extend that to people living as married, but I am terribly liberal. I have also got all versions if Debrett's guide to modern manners for reference if anyone would like further evidence. Nowhere in the aforementioned guide does it say that. This is the closest reference that I can find. "Friends who are not invited to weddings have to accept their exclusion gracefully. It is in the worst taste to request an invitation for a wedding. It is also ill-mannered to ask if you can bring a boy- or girlfriend (unless you are in a long-standing relationship with them) who is unknown to the bride’s mother and thus not included in her calculations." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AULD YIN Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 (edited) I think its more the question of why would your wife even consider accepting if you have been left out ? I can understand if it was one of her work friends who you had never met, but that doesn't seem to be the case here ? I would be more annoyed with the wife than anyone else ? +1 I would be asking my wife what size shoe fits her **** edit .as it was censored i will use another Scots word BAHOOKIE Edited January 20, 2016 by AULD YIN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big bad lindz Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 just go along anyway it would be more of an embarrassment for the bride & groom to turn you away on the day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sian Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 Personally I would be happy not to have to dress up, fork out etc but that is just me. I do think as they seem to know you (fixing car etc) that they have made a faux pas in this instance. Would have been better to perhaps invite you to watch them get married and maybe to the after food part if they were having one. Anyhow count yourself lucky and go out shooting. As for forbidding your wife (not you personally) but has been mentioned in this thread - Id like to see a man try that in 2016 without losing a few bits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehb102 Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 Nowhere in the aforementioned guide does it say that. This is the closest reference that I can find. "Friends who are not invited to weddings have to accept their exclusion gracefully. It is in the worst taste to request an invitation for a wedding. It is also ill-mannered to ask if you can bring a boy- or girlfriend (unless you are in a long-standing relationship with them) who is unknown to the brides mother and thus not included in her calculations." Ooh, do you have a copy? Which edition? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrowningB525 Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 Ooh, do you have a copy? Which edition? I'm not sure. It's just called "Debretts New Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners: The Indispensable Handbook". I'll be honest, I only got it so that I could check the etiquette of wedding invites after seeing your post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brett1985 Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 gotta be honest, it wouldn't bother me unless it was a close friend or someone I had spent a fair bit of time with. that being said, I can understand why you would be slightly frustrated. especially as you have previously worked on their car. as others have said, let the wife go and get out shooting. I'm sure you would have more fun doing that anyway... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosd Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 Why celebrate someone else's marriage if they fail to recognise your own. Spot on!! I think it's acceptable if it is a work colleague (not if your work colleague invites your wife only ), outside of that it's a bit rude me thinks..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffjjack Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 I also think its a bit off... but... personally I'd be pleased I got out of going to a wedding full stop!! lol Grab ya gear and go shooting!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magman Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 would you go if invited Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrM Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 "Friends who are not invited to weddings have to accept their exclusion gracefully. It is in the worst taste to request an invitation for a wedding. It is also ill-mannered to ask if you can bring a boy- or girlfriend (unless you are in a long-standing relationship with them) who is unknown to the bride’s mother and thus not included in her calculations." I would think that 23 years of marriage would count as a long standing relationship! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentalmac Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 I personally see it as a bit of a personal snub considering that they are happy to get you to fix their car and you have been with your wife for 23 years. If I was in your wife's shoes, I'd decline the invite due to being away with the husband for the weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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