So much for that relationship.

[Willow32]

I lot of you are very lucky to of known your dad, i really wish i could of had arguments with mine.

Regards

willow32

[Pastiebap]

My father was Jekyll and Hyde, one minute he was taking me out, next he was kicking the **** out of me (and I mean punching and kicking an from about I was six until I hit him back at 15), next minute buying presents. He seemed to think that the army extended into the house and I was one of his soldiers. He was a strict disciplinarian, he was also known to hit and head butt my mum. I could forgive the kickings, but I'll never forgive the lies to my face when he left my mum 10 years ago.

 

However I still love my dad, I just don't like him that much.

Edited September 26, 2012 by Pastiebap

[ack-ack]

Chill out for a bit and see what happens. I didn't speak to my old fella for 6 years over something daft. It wasn't daft at the time but in hindsight it normally always is. I'll always regret the years I missed with him when he's gone but the flip side is that perhaps we wouldn't get on so well now if it wasn't for the great leveller.

 

At the end of the day he's your dad and you only get one in life. Be like fonzy.

[bruno22rf]

I spent most of my life as far away from my father as I could get after he left my mother and married his sister in law (long story).We never really spoke until he fell ill with Lung Cancer christmas before last when I finally realised that life is just too short and visited him in hospital.It was only during his last weeks that I found out that he flew Meteors with Ray Hannah just after the war and we spent precious hours talking about his time in the RAF in Germany and his remarkable times as a child (it was his job to net sparrows to cook and eat in pies).I could have listened to his tales for years but he only had days.We said goodbye the day he died and I miss him so very much.Dont make the same mistakes that I did m8.

Edited September 26, 2012 by bruno22rf

[Paddy Galore!]

i won't go into details but we seem to get along fine when we're not under each others feet, he spends too much time and money on his tractors (imo) and not enough on his family, don't get me wrong, i'm not envious, but sometimes he can be very insensitive.

I'm really sorry to hear of your troubles, it's a sad day when all the magic dust falls off someone you hold in awe, and all that's left is a human being, warts and all.

Edited September 26, 2012 by GRAM71

[spanj]

My Dad goes through these horrible phases and moods and takes it out on everyone. He wont talk, he will make himself a cup of tea and no one else, goes in the other room and watches TV by himself, my Mum and Dads relationship has dwindled for years and I have tried to talk to him, the other night I really tried and all he did was watch the TV and not listening, I am starting to give up, he was never there when I was younger, I never really had a Dad, self taught most things and always been very bold and outgoing. I made a promise to myself saying when I am a Dad I will NEVER be like that! Hes has been a great provider, but thats it, he has no friends, no hobbies, all he does is work, I feel so sorry for my Mum, but thats life. Im 24 and really starting to realise what is going on, his loss.

 

That sounds very much like clinical depression to me......... I am NOT a doctor but have seen this before

[fern01]

I lot of you are very lucky to of known your dad, i really wish i could of had arguments with mine.

Regards

willow32

 

Me too, I know just how you feel.

 

Mum and dad split up when I was a toddler and I can't remember him at all. Mum would never talk about him, too painfull I guess.

[pigeon pete]

my old man winds me up big time ,hes allways helps out with my sister and her kids ,and my brothers kids ,on birthdays he will go and see there kids ,but cant be bothered to see our kids ,my sister only lives 1 mile from me and my dad says he dont go to see them much but i see his car there all the time ,hes allways doing work on there house and my sister allways slags him off !!! as the youngest of 3 ive allways been the one that has to wait ,well ive stayed away several times and been call the jellos one ,you do what you feel is right and dont let anyone rule your life ,because when there gone nothing changes

[Asa Bear]

I fell out with my old man when I was 18 and we didn't speak for nearly two years! Ever since we made up we've been ok but never best buddies. As much my fault as his.

 

I am now 40 and today we buried my Grandma, his Mother. I saw a different side to my Dad today.

 

Life's too short pal. Be "the bigger man" & clear the air. Families are a pain in the **** but if we lose everything they're all we've got left.

[MM]

Sometimes people forget that just because they are family, you dont have to like em. If they are ****s, then dont bother with em. You are sometimes better off without them.

[bullet boy]

Im always arguing with my Dad especially when we go Shooting together.We did one day have a massive bust-up but after a few hours of not talking we both said we were wrong and patched things up.

 

Hope you and your Dad can sort things out.

Life is way too short.

ATB.

[AVB]

Sometimes people forget that just because they are family, you dont have to like em. If they are ****s, then dont bother with em. You are sometimes better off without them.

 

Agree with that sentiment. Bad people are bad people. Good people are good people. Regardless of blood lines.

[bullet1747]

You only get one dad and that isn't for life ,wish my dad was here he was and still is my best mate and he has been DEAD for 13years ,not a day goes by I don't think about him and have a tear, kiss and make up nothing can be as bad as you think remember he is hurting as well

[bullet1747]

A

Edited September 27, 2012 by bullet1747

[bullet1747]

I spent most of my life as far away from my father as I could get after he left my mother and married his sister in law (long story).We never really spoke until he fell ill with Lung Cancer christmas before last when I finally realised that life is just too short and visited him in hospital.It was only during his last weeks that I found out that he flew Meteors with Ray Hannah just after the war and we spent precious hours talking about his time in the RAF in Germany and his remarkable times as a child (it was his job to net sparrows to cook and eat in pies).I could have listened to his tales for years but he only had days.We said goodbye the day he died and I miss him so very much.Dont make the same mistakes that I did m8.

Made me cry mate ,read and make up

[krugerandsmith]

Agree with that sentiment. Bad people are bad people. Good people are good people. Regardless of blood lines.

 

 

AVB.

True. ..........Lucky to live in Liverpool .....Such great people.

[utectok]

Some people, men especially just seem to get mean and nasty with older age. It's sometimes to do with losing your status, virility, usefulness, strength and so on. It's also made worse by envy and jealousy of younger people.

 

Your father must be around 64 - can be a hard time if any of these things are effecting him, and you are 24 - pretty much a stark reminder of what he might be feeling he has lost or is losing.

 

 

That's just like my father in law sad really do you think he will lighten up?

Edited September 28, 2012 by utectok

[Dr_Scholl]

Chill out for a bit and see what happens. I didn't speak to my old fella for 6 years over something daft. It wasn't daft at the time but in hindsight it normally always is. I'll always regret the years I missed with him when he's gone but the flip side is that perhaps we wouldn't get on so well now if it wasn't for the great leveller.

 

At the end of the day he's your dad and you only get one in life. Be like fonzy.

 

Has anyone ever told you that you're a misunderstood genius?

[mikky]

my mum died back ib 1974,we lived in kenya,i decided to come back to the uk to go in the navy,......i went back several times over the years,my dad came over for my wedding in 1981 and then he moved to japan...since 1981 i have only seen him 3 times and the longest he was here was for 1 week when his mum died......i heard the other week he had moved back to the uk and has been living down south for over a year,,he didnt bother telling me he was back....i am annoyed because both my kids have wanted to spend some time with him,and listen to his exploits travelling all over the world....he knows where i am,i havnt got a clue where he is.........sometimes i wish i had someone to turn to,but he has never been there for me or my family....he is now 86 and i will probably never see him again.........i hope i do but im not holding my breath

 

go and patch things up with your dad

 

mikky

 

mikky

[houlsby]

Not spoke to my old man all year. Last time was in town when my mother was abusing my missis... Old boy try'd his luck and squared upto me infront of everyone for no real reason. I stepped up, he backed down when he realised I was serious.

 

I won't go into detail why we fell out in the first place, but my life is 100% better without them in it.

 

Ill be sad when he goes, but I won't be sad that he wasn't in my life.

 

If YOU feel the need to talk to him, then do it. But don't let anyone influence you.

[AVB]

There are two reasons for falling outs:

 

1) A disagrement over something, sometimes relatively minor, and both parties being too proud to make up.

2) The other person being a nasty piece of work.

 

Whether family or friends with type 1 cases you should try to resolve them. For type 2 why bother? Just becuase they 'are family'? Personally I wouldn't.

[Alan Maughan]

All this 'blood is thicker than water' stuff is a load of **** and has tied many a person down and made/kept them unhappy.

 

Surround yourself with people you like to be with and who treat you with respect, jettison the rest as life is too short to waste time trying to fix what sometimes cant be fixed.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[SakoQuad]

That's just like my father in law sad really do you think he will lighten up?

Can do if things happen that mellow him off but I think it tends to become a bit of a fixed habit. It requires a bit of insight and "emotional intelligence" to dig out of that particular hole and the reason such folk are there in the first place is 'cos these are things they don't have a lot of. I realise that I am generalising horribly!

[flynny]

Not spoke to my old man all year. Last time was in town when my mother was abusing my missis... Old boy try'd his luck and squared upto me infront of everyone for no real reason. I stepped up, he backed down when he realised I was serious.

 

I won't go into detail why we fell out in the first place, but my life is 100% better without them in it.

 

Ill be sad when he goes, but I won't be sad that he wasn't in my life.

 

If YOU feel the need to talk to him, then do it. But don't let anyone influence you.

 

Same as mate, wise words spoken,

 

Flynny

[ayano3]

I tolerate my dad but only just. When my mum fell ill with kidney failure he chose not to visit her in hospital. They had been Wed 55 years. Finally my mum was transfered to the renal ward in Leicester where she finally passed away holding my hand after a four week battle in there. I did the 140 mile round trip every day to be there. My dad didn't join me once even though I offered every day. The hospital called me at 2am on the day she went to sleep and said get here as soon as you can as she don't have long to go...did he come Well you know that answer. I do help my dad with things, he had a stroke on Easter Sunday this year, but it takes me all my time to not remind him how selfish he was and still is and think why do I bother with him at all.